1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Moridin, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    There was a sidestories update. As is often the case, but not always, it's just a different POV of recent events.
     
  2. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,551
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    The chakra connections is an interesting development, don't remember that happening to that level at least. The reactions themselves was okay but the fact that they reacted at all, Kakashi and the gelen people especially I found super interesting.
     
  3. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,681
    The last couple of updates have reenergized the story for me. This is where DOS shines-- what seems like filler is actually groundwork for the next arc, abilities, characterization, all that stuff coming into play.
     
  4. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    1,511
    Location:
    One of the Shires
    High Score:
    9,373
    Precisely. The author is best when they're taking parts of canon that don't get much more than a single line and then expanding on them to create an entire story arc. This arc is looking to be especially interesting, given how much chance it has to diverge from the canon plot.

    I'm once again reminded why I love this fic so much.
     
  5. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2017
    Messages:
    63
    High Score:
    0
    It has interesting tit-bits, but overall, I cannot see much merit in this work. But, that is just my opinion. Whilst expanding on smaller plotlines is a commendable idea and route, I believe, the author has made this too ... simplistic for my liking.

    I would give this a 1.5 or 2/5.
     
  6. Koalas

    Koalas First Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    46
    Location:
    Halifax
    High Score:
    2024
    Could you elaborate? What's are you using as a benchmark for deep fanfiction? The fic has its weak points but being simplistic isn't one I'd ever list.
     
  7. GiantMonkeyMan

    GiantMonkeyMan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2008
    Messages:
    591
    Location:
    UK
    It's got some pretty legit use of foreshadowing which makes some of those pretty lame anime filler moments actually relevant. Classic Chekov's gun sort of thing. Great writing, in that regard, so for me it's definitely less 'simplistic' than a shite load of fanfics out there.
     
  8. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2017
    Messages:
    63
    High Score:
    0
    It's been ages since I last dropped it, so, any specifics would be hard to pin down now. However, back then, the prose was pretty straightforward and lacked the imagination I would associate with a fantasy work. Not enough was there to capture my interest.

    Does there have to be a benchmark? A work cannot be judged in isolation?


    GiantMonkeyMan What are you exactly implying by "legit" usage? Also, I highly doubt any of her "foreshadowing" is Chekhovian in nature. Never thought it for a second when I read about thirty-five or so of her chapters in the past.

    For me, it's simplistic as it lacks complexity. There weren't many underlying plot threads working together to consider this a commendable attempt. I didn't come across any recurring motifs or metonymy either that bring any meaning to the narrative. Perhaps, I am being too harsh. It's fan-fiction after all. Sure, a lot of shit is posted on FF. But, that doesn't mean a slightly better attempt becomes heaven sent by default.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2017
  9. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Keep in mind we all use ratings differently guys - or at least that's always been my impression on DLP.

    For me, 3/5 is readable (definition of average) and everything lower is bad. If I read it then it's probably worth at least that, or I wouldn't have read enough of it to know without closing the window and slapping 'bad' on it. It's pretty rare for me to rate things on DLP less than a 2.5-3 because it's rare for anyone to rec anything that bad here. If they do they're usually chased off before I get around to it.

    Other people rate things using a different internal method. Whether we feel it's a fair rating or a legit method is slightly beside the point, so long as he read the story. You did read a chunk of the story cooladoola? I'm always a little skeptical of reviews that don't mention the name of the main character or any specific events from the work, and you've done neither.
     
  10. PlainBlack0

    PlainBlack0 Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2017
    Messages:
    7
    Location:
    Scotland
    High Score:
    0
    I will agree that the writing is a little dry sometimes though I find that to be rare, but it shines in plot and character. Shikamaru and Kakashi get some lovely development and the banter between all of the Konoha 12 is very enjoyable.
     
  11. Dye

    Dye Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2015
    Messages:
    77
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
  12. Sequoia

    Sequoia Second Year

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2015
    Messages:
    50
    High Score:
    0
    :p Beat me too the punch

    Kinda sad it ended so soon for me. I'm so eager to find out how this is all going to continue to unravel. My heads bubbling with possibilities.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2017
  13. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Well, I quite liked this chapter. And again, er, discuss - but give it 24 hours with spoiler tags please. At least until things calm down.

    So, where is/was Kakashi then? The most recent sidestories chapter suggests he was in the village when the explosion happened. It's possible that he was deployed in the next two days before Shikako arrived, but he's been handed that in-village post and Tsunade seems to be keeping an eye on his, well, eye.

    Surprised he didn't make an appearance I guess. Though it does mean he's probably been deployed.

    Glad we got to see ANBU!Sasuke. Been looking forward to that, and I figured it would happen before too long. Shikako is always going to recognize him due to chakra sensing and I figured she'd encounter him undercover at some point. This was a good way to make that happen. Fun to see him 'at work.' Also force feeding biscuits.

    Bit surprised Tsunade let him listen in on Shikako's report, given that she had to half expect it would include an S-rank secret of some kind. If not the source of the explosion then Akatsuki information. On the other hand Shikako is not recovered yet and Sasuke is a friend and teammate, and if Tsunade knows much about how her spiritual damage works she might have left him for that reason. Also it might be against protocol to be alone with a possible compromised shinobi, and would have drawn even more questions later.
    But yes... fun chapter. I enjoyed it and I'm glad that the story is still moving along.
     
  14. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    1,681
    I know there prob won't be shipping, but Sasuke comforting Shikako makes me want them as a pair. Their mutual trauma makes me them perfect for each other. And they're both pretty introverted, eccentric, etc.
     
  15. Nicovi

    Nicovi Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    While I tend to abhor shipping, it is glaringly obvious that some kind of ship is being systematically assembled on the konoha shore.
     
  16. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2017
    Messages:
    63
    High Score:
    0
    As I mentioned, it's been ages. The only thing I remember are the general impressions I had of the writing back then and that a self-insert plays a major role in the plot progression. I went back yesterday and skimmed over a few chapters to check whether I was not confusing another story for this one, and the overall flow remains to be simple in its execution.

    Frankly, I just came to this section to see any good fiction recommendations. Saw this one and decided to comment. There is nothing more to it than that. For me, DOS is slightly below the average mark. It isn't bad. It's just barely serviceable in my eyes. Perhaps, I should give it another read. It would hardly take an hour or so to finish about thirty chapters anyway. Let's see if I can find the time for that.

    PlainBlack0 I can definitely understand why people enjoy it. You have pointed out one of the reasons: enjoyable banter. I suppose I look for more in a plot. Probably too unjust and harsh, but it's not like the author would read this.
     
  17. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,064
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    All else aside, I question the wisdom of assuming that the author would never read the reviews in a thread dedicated to their fic.
     
  18. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,551
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Didn't get we WoG that Shikako is asexual? Doesn't mean that nothing romantic will happen, of course, but dunno, always felt like Shikako has no interest in anything romantic as well. I guess we got glimpses that Sasuuke has some sort of attraction/crush on her, but I wouldn't count on anything happening.
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Er, in reference to what? I don't recall someone implying that they wouldn't, but I might have missed something. I feel like I missed something. I generally assume that authors seek out reviews of their stuff, whether they register on forums or not. Did someone assume otherwise?

    Pretty sure WoG said that, yeah. Honestly I think it's one of my favorite things about the story. Not only because of the asexual angle but because damn, they're kids still. And canon ended with them at what, 16-18? Leave the romance out ftw.

    I didn't read it as Sasuke having a crush. I read it as further evidence of his overly protective side. Shikako has noticed it before. I think it was implied to be a result of him losing everyone once already, and determined to keep what things he has left safe. Could be both though.
     
  20. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,264
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Proudspire Manor
    The last words of cooladoola's last post.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. Tasoli
    Replies:
    24
    Views:
    12,452