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Complete Forever Knight by DeliverMeFromMe - NC17

Discussion in 'Restricted Section' started by The Fine Balance, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. Zafar

    Zafar Muggle

    Joined:
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    High Score:
    0
    I hate to necro a thread (especially because I'm probably not going to review it), but considering portkey is dead, does anyone know of a way to read this? I've heard it called "one of the best h/hr stories" a couple times, but not even archive.org can bring it up. If anyone has a backup of it, it'd be great!
     
  2. Lacoon

    Lacoon First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2007
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    Male
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    Germany
    After some digging, I found this.
     
  3. Zafar

    Zafar Muggle

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  4. Jester

    Jester Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
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    268
    After seeing this update by Zafar above, I decided to read the PDF version of this story. As this is a Necro I figured I'll try to give this a decent run through.

    This story starts with some massive OOC moments for Harry and Hermione, mostly because it's a straight unexpected sex scene. It's more than a bit off kilter with a lot of sex, doing it's best to be a weird dark sappy romance rendition of Harry Potter with Vampires. Capital V.

    The best thing that comes out of this in my opinion is Ron. He reacts how I would react if my best friend went after the girl I obviously had feelings for with hurt, and jealously. The only character that really feels like themselves is Ron. He is a bit deluded, hopeful, and remains Harry's friend throughout everything that happens to him. It starts off a bit rocky, with a bit of a bashing vibe on the Weasleys, but nothing extremely off happens on that front.

    The other interesting part happens to be the Vampire lore. It feels decently engaging, and had me interested in the authors Vampire society. As that was the whole point for reading this story for me I was generally satisfied. I wish it actually featured a bit more than the very cliched romance between Harry and Hermione, which in my opinion was an average trashy romance level of a relationship.

    Hermione is butchered, and forced. She really detracted from the story, and the authors attempt at making the relationship have more weight fell flat. Draco Malfoy was a mishandled character, who felt like more a plot contrivance than anything else. Snape was interesting, and engaging for the small part of the story that he appears. Harry is your classic anti-hero romantic that is common in bad romantic hero fiction, he had moments where I found him compelling as a character. He is more a Harry in name, but not completely unrecognizable.

    The author uses a ton, and a I mean a ton of OCs. Some are better than others, most aren't very good though. A lot of them are their to help the shitty plot try and have stakes.

    The ending is also a massive ass pull, that was foreshadowed like a hammer to the thumb.

    This is a classic case of a story that is in need of an editor, a more focused plot, and less Harry Potter mythos. It was interesting to see parts of the Vampire world in the Author's vision, and if you enjoy ok vampire fiction, and can handle OOC romance from Harry and Hermione than this story is great.

    It's an interesting 3/5 story that will meet a select groups taste. It has some interesting ideas, competent writing, and is fully complete. It's a story I wish had an editor, and renamed the characters to something else.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2017
  5. Azrael83

    Azrael83 Second Year

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    I like the intro into this it’s going to take me a while to smash this but it really is off to a good start. The sex scene was pretty good.