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WIP Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin By The Sinister Man - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by iamnotreal, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Nevermind

    Nevermind Headmaster

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    Agreed. A certain degree of paranoia is understandable, given what James knows or believes to know, but this development seemed extremely rushed.

    Regarding the prologue and its relevance to current or future events, something I have deliberated over for some time now is the identity of the Death Eater spy at Hogwarts in 4th year or, more accurately, their assumed identity. There is something of a hint/potential red herring in the most recent chapter that it might still be Moody:

    However, I have a hard time believing that Harry wouldn‘t immediately sniff out Moody not being Moody.

    I wonder whether we‘ll get someone like Elphias Doge in his stead, teaching history, or some sort of newly-established club. Or maybe it‘s a friend working for one of the other schools. In any case, it‘s a reveal I‘m quite looking forward to finding out more about in roughly three years‘ time. ;)
     
  2. buzzer

    buzzer Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

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    Yeah despite the problems that the fic has the main plot (as infrequently as it is metioned) is very enjoyable and I'm looking forward to the payoffs for some of the longer running threads.
     
  3. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Can someone remind me...

    What is the significance of this particular baby again?
     
  4. HPFicFan

    HPFicFan First Year

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    @Ched
    Author's probably gonna use the newborn infant as voldefetus fanon.
     
  5. PomMan

    PomMan High Inquisitor

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    Without the prologue, I'd be a lot more keen for this story to go places. Knowing what happens at the end of 4th year in as much detail as there is in that prologue really cuts into the story, to the point where the interactions between the Potters and Harry made no sense towards leaning that way until James went psycho and Jim uncharacteristically mentioned that he'd heard of the Prince of Slytherin before. The characters grew away from that prologue naturally throughout the story, but then the author shoehorned it back in, which just comes across as being forced. Furthermore, knowing things like Theo still being no name at the end of book 4, and the ways the characters will interact by that point, removes a lot of the power of otherwise good scenes. The reconciliation between Sirius and Snape was well done, and creative in execution, but because I already knew that it happened, it didnt carry nearly as much of an impact.

    The pacing is a big problem as well and it's getting worse. We are in January 3rd year, clocking in at 830k words. We'll be over a million words into the story before 4th year starts, and we'll be closing in on 1.2-1.5 million by the time it arrives at the prologue. And each chapter, one thing, maybe 2 things on a particularly plot heavy chapter, moves the plot forward. Slowly. The character development is all well and good, but I dont need or want to read so much about Mrs Weasley's side business, nor Umbridge's mother problems, Fred and George's spatting, Crabbe not wanting his little sister to be forcibly wed, Hermione being a seer, Hermione's Rune's project of great secrecy and 0 importance, The Pureblood Club, The Slewyns, the Deathly Hallows conspiracy involving Blaise and his co-conspirators and so many other sidequests. One or two of these would be welcome but all happening at the same time, the story just drags so much more. 2nd year, the best year of the story by far, had comparatively far fewer of these sidequests, which tended to directly relate to the main plot a lot more.

    And its a shame because cutting out half of the words or so, there is a really good story in there. But there's so much attention paid to everything that it makes the rest of the story suffer from not knowing where it should go. 830k words in, I should not be hoping to reach the prologue in plot. We are 200k words shorter than the entire Harry Potter series at this point. Pick. Up. The. Pace.
     
  6. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    What is even happening in this story at this point? I've been working through a reread but I don't want to waste time if they've not even made it through third year.
     
  7. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I keep hearing that there is a great story under all the subplots. Someone please summarize it for me. Once you cut out the sidequests, what is this great story everyone swears is hiding in there?

    Best as I can tell from following this thread, the sideplots are the main plot of this story and this is in fact a convoluted anthology that people have deluded themselves into thinking it's not.
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Obviously. That much is clear from context. Or if not as a body for LV then for some closely related reason.

    Why this baby was my question. Typically in these stories it's not a random infant they pick. I assumed it had been covered why this one was special.

    But 1) it might not have been covered yet and 2) it might be convenience and nothing special after all. You never know with this story.
     
  9. buzzer

    buzzer Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

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    I think this baby was chosen because no one will miss it and it is a pureblood which would be important to Crouch and Narcissa.
     
  10. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 118
    Words: 848,223
    Updated: 2019-09-26 20:16:19 UTC
    Published: 2015-04-17 18:27:52 UTC
    Previously updated: about 2 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  11. JErosion

    JErosion DA Member

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    I would not doubt that the prologue will probably need to be rewritten a third time given how some characters have changed. That said I sat down and reread all of the Death Eater Menace since I ignored the last few fanfiction.net updates and it comes together better when you have multiple chapters to read,but yeah there are a lot of subplots that will need to come together. Although when and if they do I expect a massive payoff
     
  12. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 119
    Words: 858,149
    Updated: 2019-11-01 20:42:28 UTC
    Published: 2015-04-17 18:27:52 UTC
    Previously updated: about 1 month ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  13. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 120
    Words: 875,375
    Updated: 2019-11-10 23:28:09 UTC
    Published: 2015-04-17 18:27:52 UTC
    Previously updated: 9 days ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  14. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Fantastic update! Hell, Harry wasn’t even in it and it was still fantastic.

    Loved getting to see Dumbledore be cool and getting a few answers regarding Pettigrew.

    I know this isn’t a 5/5 story but I’m still always surprised it’s only in almost rec.
     
  15. Asclepius

    Asclepius Squib

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    Too convoluted by far.
     
  16. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    The convolution works for me because by the time we get info like we got here regarding Pettigrew I’m ready for it and curious.

    If it had been in an early chapter I’d have agreed with you.

    Good point though that this type chapter explains why the story definitely isn’t for everyone.
     
  17. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I'd like for you to expand on this. You can't just say something is shit or "convoluted" and not explain why. The whole point of the library and review forums is to discuss the stories. If you don't intend to engage then don't post one line comments here.

    Because people rate without reviewing. Minimal effort, so it gets sorted where it is based on what people have rated it v. what people have said about it.

    In general though, this story has a lot of things going on and not all of them executed really all that well. I stopped reading it about third year, because the author took forever to end year 2. I hate stories that dwell on shit because it shows they have no plan.
     
  18. Asclepius

    Asclepius Squib

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    The statement can stand by itself. What would more words add? Brevity is essential, as Hood learns in Malazan.

    But here:
    The story has become too convoluted. Too many plot points cropping up without previous ones being resolved, turning it into a complex mess. Sure, the writing and ideas are solid, but without a clear goal in sight, this will probably end up abandoned, especially seeing that there's so much more that has to happen before Harry and LV face off finally.

    It's basically the ASOIAF problem which appears to have put GRRM in a conundrum as well. Too much plot to be resolved, yet the author keeps adding in new stuff. Needs a solid editor to tell him to stop being in love with the sound of his own voice.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 11, 2019
  19. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    It was probably better that I just give you an infraction for wasting my time. I went ahead and fixed your post so it wasn't buried in a quote. Brevity is key, but when you give an opinion be ready to defend it.

    However, your follow up was sufficient and what your initial post should have been.
     
  20. Asclepius

    Asclepius Squib

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    No worries, mate. Kinda new to the whole DLP thing (mostly been a lurker). I quite liked the story when it began, but as someone above mentioned, the time between updates and the lack of plot progression means this would probably be better read as a whole when it's done than following the updates.
     
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