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Abandoned Control by Anonymous58 - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Andro, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    You do realize that there are countries where adult making moves on 14 year old kid (as is Harry in this fic if I'm not wrong) is considered a pedophilia, no matter how mature they appear to be?
     
  2. gbbz

    gbbz Professor

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    I don't quite understand you. I live in a country where the age of consent is 15 (the same one as you in fact). But dating or kissing don't equal sex.

    Sexual intercourse is illegal for young people. Emotional attachement or PDAs are not.
     
  3. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    One, I'd like to see people reactions if some 19 years old would start making a moves on 14 years old in Poland. And yes, kissing with so young person can be interpreted as pedophilia by court and be ticket to jail.
     
  4. gbbz

    gbbz Professor

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    Nah. You don't have a legal ground to stand on. Well, I suppose if it were a seriously older guy 30+, then yeah the courts would get involved, but otherwise I've just never seen it.

    Anyway that's not the point. How does that relate to the fic? I don't think it does. And our statements outweigh each other (I know instances that it was 0 you know ones when it was 1) so there's no point in arguing.

    Cheers.
     
  5. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    I for one would have loved to live in a place where ideal-looking, non-psychotic 19 year old women would consider even being seen with a guy five years their junior - much less having a romantic relationship with one.
     
  6. gbbz

    gbbz Professor

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    Come over here then, man... Plenty of girls to go around.
     
  7. Harvest King

    Harvest King Third Year

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    I for one would just love to live in a place where there are non-psychotic 19 year old girls....

    I'd still say fame+maturity+money can get you the older ladies if you want them.
     
  8. cloud91

    cloud91 Fourth Year

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    First off glad to see that this fic isn't dead.

    As for the age different issue it doesn't really bother me all that much since it's kind of implied that Harry is Tonk's only friend, and um isn't Harry legally considered an adult now anyways?
     
  9. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Yeah,not really that weird. Harry knew her, had been friends with her, and it was established that they were pretty close friendship wise. Shes just been utterly rejected by her mentor and idol of two years, been almost demoted for no other reason than (what she saw as) protecting her innocent friend.

    Who is just coming into his own looks, maturity and intelligence.

    Tonks is so unbalanced that its not hard to believe she'd make a move on a 14 year old, especially pimp harry over there.

    Pretty enjoyable story though, fairly standard dark harry, but its pulled off with some better than standard writing and action. If it doesn't fall into the trap of going stations of the canon or angsty harry it might make a 4/5, but as is it gets a solid 3.5/5.
     
  10. Alexeyy

    Alexeyy Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Honestly, the purported love affair between Tonks and Harry is the least of the problems with this story. In fact, the argument about their age difference is the same for every H/T story out there, and that said, I will not talk about it anymore.

    When it first came out, I viewed the first chapter as a one-shot, so I want to review it separately from the rest of the story. So, an angst-release story; Harry is physically abused by the Dursleys (no reason is given as to why), so he snaps into madness and goes into a killing spree, thankfully he has learned some wicked cool dark magic (where and how did he learn it?). He then wakes up to the reality that his skill is utterly pathetic when clashed against real professionals ("I've seen it all before, lad"). Harry then shows strong will when he refuses to give up. These were weak and good points. If not for its premise, I'd rate it 5/5, but with physical abuse as a plot device, it's 4/5.

    Ok, with additional chapters the story goes south. Apparently, it's mostly canon-complaint until Harry gets sorted into Slytherin. No reason is given for everything. He hates Neville (why?), he's a stuck up, prideful, spiteful little git, calls Hermione a mudblood, scorns the Weasleys' stupidity and poverty etc., etc. Why is he that way? How did he turn into such a person? Despite his lovely attitude, he is close to Ginny for no reason. It was only vaguely stated that she had sought him out, that they were both fairly isolated and that they had found comfort in each other. Harry's possessiveness of Ginny also gives me pause.

    Harry is learning dark magic and nobody finds out or sees the problem/tries to stir to the light. He learns Occlumency and then Legilimency by himself, apparently with great success. That's really an understatement, lol; he's an overpowered Legilimens at the age of fourteen, which is stupid.

    Then there comes Harry/Tonks ship: why would a seventeen year-old girl want to hang out with a snot-nosed brat? I hate personally any ship for the sake of ship itself.

    In Azkaban Harry is MIND RAPED! God. Facepalm for the overused wording, and really: it's always better to "show rather than tell" in any situation, especially this one. Instead, what I see is Harry talking to himself: "Oh, my! I think I was just MIND RAPED! This is bad, I better learn more Occlumency real fast!" Well, and that's what he does! He learns Occlumency to such an extent that he manages to kill a Dementor with his brain! While he does that, the magic suppressing ward stops working against him, so he must be obscenely overpowered! Additionally to his obscene powers, he gathers the dead Dementor's artifacts and gains Dementor-like aura. What. The. Fuck?

    Anyway, while in Azkaban, Harry becomes pals with Bellatrix Lestrange who (what do you know?) happened to become a Death Eater against her will, because she was regularly doused with Amortentia potion by her evil husband (who is also in Azkaban). Then we find out that apparently, they don't close cell doors in Azkaban: so when one day our good old Ruddie Lestrange decides to take a walk around the place to stretch his legs, he finds Bellatrix and comes in to taunt her. She then proceeds to beat him to death and also does something revolting with his eyeball. What is this madness? I know that mindless carnage generally caters to the populace of these forums, but as for me, I cannot understand it at all; it's revolting and bears no purpose.

    The only saving grace in the whole Azkaban arc, is that Harry figured out that Dumbledore would eventually find a way to bail him out because Dumbledore needs him for something.

    When Harry is freed at last he starts prancing around throwing temper tantrums and dark magic indiscriminately. He hangs all day in his stupid manor with people he dislikes, broods pathetically, and amuses himself by scaring everyone from the shadows. He bids his time planning to find eventual revenge against the ones who has wronged him (but I have no idea who they are), and I think he realizes that he will have to wait a very long time.

    That said, Harry's character is not likable at all. I can envision that in two, ten years he will not change from the petty, hateful, impotent person that he has become. He will waste away brooding in his house and will die hating the whole world for ruining his life. Pathetic.

    P.S. Forgive my English, I'm out of practice.
     
  11. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    When Control started, I loved it - there were flaws, but it was easy enough to overlook those due to the quality of the prologue (although I still don't really understand why that spanned four chapters or so. It was a lot more than a prologue, let's be honest).

    Since he got out of Azkaban, it's been disappointing though. Harry's just entirely unsympathetic, and the levels of melodrama are ridiculous. There's still a lot of potential, and I'm still going to read, but it's gone from seeming like a guarenteed 5/5 to a 3/5 at the moment.
     
  12. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    .... uh. Perhaps you just should stay away from the Dark Arts section, dudes. That is all I really have to say.:facepalm
     
  13. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Finally got around to reading this story, and I love it. It's been what... years now since I've really read a totally psychotic Harry, and this one tops those distant memories by far. Some of it's an indulgence in old cliches and days when Hellatrix ranked in my top two pairings, but the writing is good, and I really do feel like I'm exploring the mind of a madman, not just an author writing his own personal evilwankcharacterbash...

    So haters can hate if they want, but the whole thing gets a 5/5 from me.
     
  14. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    I do. The quality of the prologue drew me in and kept me reading. Maybe I didn't make this clear enough in my last post, in which case I apologise, but my main problem with the story is that I think the quality has dipped since the outstanding prologue.
     
  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I actually think that this could work really well as a H/Hr redemption fic, in the long run. But I doubt the author will take it in that direction. It'll probably be a one dimensional revenge fic - a very well written one, but still rather predictable.
     
  16. Trig

    Trig Unspeakable

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    I love this fic simply because it has the best depiction of Bellatrix I've ever read, it's even better than Only Enemies in my opinion.

    The 'blackened wings of unholy ebony flame' analogy for Harry's willpower (at least that's what I think it's supposed to be) is rather over the top and a bit overused in this story, but it's still acceptable and could count as the author's writing style.

    The rest of the plot isn't exceptional so far, and I rather disliked Harry's use of the words mudblood and blood-traitor considering Ginny was his best friend, but this story is still way better than average.

    Additionally it has a whole lot of potential while being pretty unpredictable, I'd rate it 4/5 so far.
     
  17. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm not sure if he's committing himself to any idealogy when he uses the word mudblood. He does, after all, still love Lily.

    Rather, I think he just uses whatever slurs will create the most offense in those he's insulting.
     
  18. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    No it couldn't.

    Fuck redemption fics. Keep Control the way it is. There are far too many Good!Harry fics and not enough Evil!Harry ones.

    4/5 from me.

    My only problem is that Harry is too strong. He got the money, he got the house, he got the super magical strenght, and he got the Uber!Legilimency. Weaken him in some way, an invincible hero isn't as fun to read about as you think.
     
  19. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Eh, I felt that the interaction between Harry and Hermione was the most interesting character develoment we've seen in the fic.

    Everything else so far has been well written cliche. There's a million and one revenge fics out there. I've never seen a well-done redemption fic.

    Also disagree about Harry being too strong. Not sure where you're getting that from. He was easily defeated by a trainee Auror multiple times, and its been said that his spell repertoire is comparitively small, even including the Dark Arts. Further, I'm not sure where you're getting uber legilimency from. We've seen several times that he has no real skill in the art - just untrained brute strength.

    This Harry has 3 things going for him that are the source of all his victories: a fuckton of power, good Occlumency and sheer stubborness. Dumbledore could lay him out in hte blink of an eye.
     
  20. Scrib

    Scrib The Chosen One

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    First off, a 29 y/o dating someone ten years his junior is nowhere near a fourteen year old dating someone half that am out his elder. The argument could be made that people in that age group haven't fully developed and matured mentally and can be taken advantage of by those older than them. Also it's nice how you claim play the sexist card yet fail to give a single example of a relationship were the female was significantly older than the male, doing the exact opposite and going around your own point.

    Moving on, I really am divided. I hate redemption fics with a passion (a hatred born of being a DarkLuke/DarkObiWan fan in a fandom with a ridiculously high number of redemption fics) but the interaction between Harry and Hermione this chapter really didn't bother me. Granted it may just be the first step and he will have hundreds of chances to fuck up if he went that way but I'll wait and see.

    A safer option would he to have Hermione as the frustrated savior trying but never quite succeeding to pull Harry out of the darkness.