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Plot Bunny Thread V2

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Antivash, Apr 20, 2011.

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  1. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    It's been done before, Brute. Many, many times.
     
  2. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

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    Really? I don't think I have ever come across one... Was I looking in the wrong places perhaps?\

    Not that I am really surprised. If you think you have something original in Fanfiction take a deep breath and realise you don't.
     
  3. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    Yep. Sadly enough, I can't remember any specific examples, but the plot element of Harry's soul fragment either gaining intelligence or trying to possess him has been used a lot.
     
  4. ViolentRed

    ViolentRed Professor

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    Yet it has never let to the only logical conclusion of insanity, followed by death from an overdose of Petunia's happy pills.
     
  5. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I have the perfect example for you. It's a story about the young Harry and an ill fated meeting with a Dementor. Enjoy.:nyan::nyan::nyan::nyan:
     
  6. Plothole

    Plothole Fifth Year

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    Kmfrank's The Unlocked Knowledge
    Amerision's Temptations of a Dark Soul
     
  7. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Master Slytherin's What Lies Beneath is another merge (great story, btw).

    Dagger and Rose shout-out, or you thinking another story?
     
  8. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    They were more common a few years ago, right before the post-OotP indi!Harry fics became the 'in' thing.
     
  9. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist Fifth Year ~ Prestige ~

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  10. Damask

    Damask Seventh Year

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    Okay, this one has enormous fail potential, so I'm gonna put it between spoiler tags to spare your brains. Really, if you don't feel like facepalming at squicky plot devices and potentially disastrous characterization, don't read.

    Snape drugging Lily with Amortentia in October 1981 and using her Amortentia-induced state of complete subservience to take her away from her husband and child (essentially protecting her from Voldemort's attack, while also getting to, well, fulfill some of his teenage fantasies). Story begins with Lily escaping from under the potion's effect and trying to return to her family; she does survive to raise Harry, though.

    I obviously don't plan to use this as an excuse for a Snape/Lily pairing, more like an excuse to have Harry raised by his mother in the wizarding world. I knew this could just as well be done with the Imperius curse instead of Amortentia, but the potion fits better with Snape's job as a Potions master and with his feelings towards Lily. I'm thinking of using this together with my other plot bunny I've posted a few pages ago, perhaps with a few modifications in what Snape's role and stealing the Hat are concerned; you guys had some good points.

    Please come up with criticisms other than Potter Law XVII and the fact that it's squicky (we all know that and that's kind of the point). More specifically, I'm interested in whether it's too immoral of a deed for young Snape to do, especially considering the fact that it's Lily we're talking about here; I'm having huge trouble with getting his characterization right. Just to clarify, I'm not writing him as some sort of rapist with ill intentions and no respect towards Lily, more like an ultimately well-intended, but selfish guy that yet lacks the life experience required to make the right choices (such as putting Lily's free will above petty opportunism). He still loves Lily and treats her accordingly (well... aside from the Amortentia drugging, that is); later, he will be shown to regret this choice he has made.

    Anyway, this is more of a catalyst rather than the focus of the story. The prologue will be Lily-centric and will focus on her efforts to return to her family, ending with the backlash of Voldemort's AK witnessed (probably) by an incapacitated Lily. The rest of the chapters will be Harry-centric, and the plot line described above will stop being significant to the story sometime during Harry's first year at Hogwarts (it won't follow the PS plot, with Quirrell and the stone). Another thing I'm not sure of is my ability to pull off a realistic relationship between Snape and Harry, given what happened with Lily; if everything I've written so far doesn't sound too bad, suggestions are welcome.
    I already have part of this written and I daresay it's pretty good, squick notwithstanding. I figured I should post this here before writing the whole prologue and putting it in WbA, so that I would know what DLP thinks of the premise before exposing my actual writings (or wasting time on what might be a bad idea). However, I'd really like to make this work, if possible. Please guise, if you hate it, at least give an objective reason and point out why it wouldn't work.
     
  11. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    That sounds like an interesting story, I'd read it.

    I'm bouncing around some ideas about Spirit/Ghost!Harry. I honestly don't think I've ever read a ghost!harry story, and it seems like a good idea to try. There's a lot of avenues you can take one, too:

    -Hogwartsghost!Harry in the future, guiding young students fighting against a rising evil
    -Harry's dead and been betrayed by the ministry/his friends and in some form of death tries to get revenge/right wrongs
    -...there are others too, I just can't think of any.

    I'd really like to read some stories about a dead Harry to try and get some ideas, but I just can't find any...
     
  12. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

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    Oh gods. I had forgotten about Partially Kissed Hero. A fun read if a little bizarre. Apparently I have a H/Hr/L fetish...

    It sounds interesting Damask, but how different would it really be from any other Lily survived story? Could be good though.
     
  13. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    @DarkSov: I'm spoiling the ending by saying this, but you could try: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4086213/1/Lost_Hope (a pretty entertaining story in its own right, provided you can get past how virtually every character acts differently from their canon selves. The style and tone remind me a bit of Pynchon's The Crying of Lot 49).
     
  14. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist Fifth Year ~ Prestige ~

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    @Damask - would Snape still be the Potion Master if he 'borrowed' Lily? If that had been his plan, he wouldn't need D to save her from Voldemort, and so quite possibly might not even have managed to escape conviction. Maybe Malfoy/other 'innocent' DE could bribe the MoM off for him... A private potioneer would be awesome, no?
    Than maybe have him starting work at Hogwarts on a year or two before PS/SS, but under protection from the Governors, not D.
    Or have Snape work off his conviction as a Potioneer to the MoM. There can't be many master level ones around, or D wouldn't have had to get Slughorn back. You then don't have to worry about the 'boogey man' that Lily will have almost undoubtedly raised Harry to believe Snape is, interacting with said boy, or at least as a common recurence. He could pop up now and then to be a competent and annoying bad guy.

    @DarkSov, HERE is a ghost!Harry / Gabrielle / Hermione (possibly) fic, although it is still a WiP. I enjoy reading it, but have no idea where it figures as to DLP taste.
     
  15. ViolentRed

    ViolentRed Professor

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    If you don't think an idea is good enough, you shouldn't post it. So when you do post an idea, at least have the balls to stand behind it when presenting it.

    That said, lets look at the bunny itself.

    How would Snape go about poisoning Lily? She's behind the Fidelius. If she's that easy to reach, Voldemort wouldn't have to bother with Wormtail. Also remember that Lily's potion skills aren't far behind Snape's at that moment, so there's a chance she'd recognize it. Btw, being in love with someone (even if it's fake) doesn't mean you suddenly stop loving your child. Especially Lily. So you need a reason for her not to take Harry with her.

    I don't, however, think drugging and kidnapping Lily is too far out for a desperate Snape. He might even have argumentably nobel reasons at first, simply wanting to save Lily's life. But once he seems to have succeeded in that, he starts to fool himself in thinking he finally has everything he ever wanted and simply keeps Lily to 'play house'. You could even have him hide from both Voldemort and Dumbledore, creating his own little fantasy world alone with his fantasy woman. Kind of like a MeropeGaunt!Snape. Maybe he simply decides to stop the potion at some point, convinced Lily has finally grown to love him. You would have to let more time pass though.

    Depending on the way Lily escapes and the things Snape did to her, I doubt she would just let him off scot-free. If she doesn't just outright kill him. There's no way he would still end up teaching at Hogwarts either way. Even if Dumbledore still pleads his innocence at court for being a Death Eather, drugging and raping a woman will still have him serve time in Azkaban. If hasn't been killed or simply fled that is.

    A possible way to go about all of this, would be to have Snape not trust Dumbledore to be able to save Lily. So he contacts her, using his Patronus, pleading her to talk to him. She, possibly because of the form of his Patronus, decides to trust him and goes to him (James would have to know though, seeing as he would notice her sudden disappearence from the house). Snape then begs her to come with him and decides on plan B when she refuses. He somehow makes her drink Amortentia (maybe putting her under the Imperius Curse first), somehow convinces her to forget about Harry and they both flee.

    You'd still need a good reason for Harry to recieve the protection though. Maybe James goes to find Lily and asks Wormtail of all people to look over Harry (he's the only person who knows where they live after all). James is out most of the following days, but is unexpectedly home when Voldemort comes by (Wormtail tried to save his life by keeping him away). Voldemort kills him and Wormtail has a change of heart (out of guilt/loyalty/love for Harry and his friends). Voldemort tells him to get out, Wormtail refuses (silly Gryffindors), Voldemort kills him, Love protection.

    Even if this would all work though, you'd still be using an extremely roundabout way to keep Lily alive. So I'd either think of something a little more simple or do something more with the whole Snape/Lily situation. Only letting Lily escape after several years is a possible way. She'd have to get Harry from wherever he was raised and connect with him again. And Snape might flee and blame Harry for his failure (She would have been mine without the boy!), keeping him as a constant threat behind the scenes.
     
  16. Damask

    Damask Seventh Year

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    I admit I might have been exceedingly insecure about the idea since it implies Snape/Lily and this is DLP.

    Anyway... Due to creative license and the story being set in an AU, I say fuck the Fidelius Charm. It sounds too much like employing the "A wizard did it" excuse against elementary logic and reason, and I don't want that in my story. It's easy to think of more ways to protect a family of wizards in hiding other than a kind of magic that spits in the face of deductive reasoning. Or, even if I were to consider it, I could have Wormtail betray the Potters earlier than he probably did in canon, and Voldemort share the info with which Pettigrew has provided him with his followers; hence, Snape knowing where to find the two. That said, I haven't yet thought too deeply about how Snape would manage to have Lily drink the potion, but it can't be that fucking difficult. The Imperius suggestion might be good. Even something as "innocent" as a Confundus charm could work.

    I'm planning Lily to only stay with Snape for a few days at most. It is not unreasonable to conceive a situation where, due to Snape's nervousness or busy schedule (because of Voldemort plotting) and whatnot, he would forget to administer the potion to her one night, and Lily waking up on the 31st of October sober and pretty damn angry.

    I do have a good reason for Harry to receive the protection, but I'll only know all the specifics when I get to write that part. Right now I only have about a couple thousand words or less for the prologue. It's been discussed a few pages back, though, when I elaborated on my other (related) plot bunny.

    Anyway, the plot is not as contrived as it may sound, and I trust myself being able to write it well enough so that all these details fit smoothly into the plot.
    I'm planning to have him redeemed in some way, by having him do his best to ensure the greatest number of people come out of this business alive (but again, I won't know the specifics until I get to write that part). Dumbledore can appreciate that, since it's for the greater good and whatnot. As I said, Snape would regret his decision after everything will have happened, and again, Dumbledore can recognize that and appreciate it. In any case, if he escapes Azkaban, he will do so by a very narrow margin, or maybe even be sentenced to a year or two there (maybe the sentence for Amortentia rape isn't as long in the wizarding world, or maybe Dumbledore's intervention could shorten it significantly).
     
  17. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    This sound so much like a bunny I had several months ago, that I feel it's worth sharing for comparison:

    Snape's Plan or There is Only Hate:

    At a critical moment, Voldemort chooses a different spell to deal with Lily Potter- he casts the Imperius and orders her to step aside and stay out of his way. With no sacrifice, Harry dies as he should. Voldemort brings Lily (still under Imperius) along to the Longbottoms, and Neville is killed later that night. Before Voldemort releases Lily to take in the scope of her situation, Severus lays claim to the one thing he wants. He is impatient, and takes her under the Imperius. Afterwards, he'll seek to woo her legitimately, with perhaps a Memory charm to adjust her perception of things.

    Unfortunately, his one act of rape is successful in making Lily pregnant- with a child due to be born the following Lammas Eve (July 31st)- and Voldemort's follower is now potentially the father of his destined nemesis.

    They escape just as the pregnancy is detected and the child is then raised by Snape and Lily while they are on the run. There is no love in their relationship- strictly speaking, Snape bound Lily with an oath to stay with him to raise their child, in exchange for his vow to help in escaping along with ongoing protection from harm. Snape is verbally tortured by Lily, but he is constrained from using spells or violence against her or the child (Lily's no idiot- she worded the vows carefully).

    They survive this way for a few years, but one Halloween (1987?) Voldemort catches up to them. He attempts to kill Snape but the man escapes rather than make a useless stand. Lily remains, standing defiant, and is killed ("I should have done this the first time- Avada Kedavra!") The child is attacked, but Lily's sacrifice holds true, even for a child of rape. Snape returns to gather his anointed son- Nicolai Evans Snape, the Boy Who Lived. Nick is old enough to remember this horrible night, how his mother gave herself for him, and exactly how everyone else handled themselves...

    At this point, Snape can dump Nick on Albus and run, or choose to soldier on under the warlock's protection. As it stands, Snape won't be accepted back into the ranks of the Death Eaters- he's the Traitor Who Escaped. The Press may love Nick but they'll barely tolerate Snape, especially given his demeanor. Nick may have a locket of Lily's portrait to guide him into being a good guy, or Petunia could be convinced to harbor the bastard son of Lily and that creep from their childhood. Nick would more closely resemble Lily, but with a beak-nose and black hair, so she might be more accepting or much worse.

    Born in July of 1982, Nick would be in his first year for Prisoner of Azkaban. The question is... how much of the canon plots are driven by Harry's existence? Alternately, Snape could be raising him at Hogwarts, and Nick would be a mascot of the staff, learning magic much sooner than normal. With all of Hogwarts raising him, his morals may run contrary to his father's distrustful angst. Really- as a child, would you rather stay with a judgmental prick of a father or hang out with Filius Flitwick? Being a Parselmouth would be uncovered quite early. Sirius and Remus would hound Snape and his son for what he did to Lily, thus they are almost villains in this piece- either that or they're dead already, lost to hunting Wormtail.

    Story laid out in three phases:

    Early 80's- Snape, Lily and Nick on the run

    90's - Nick at school

    00's - Riddle's return
     
  18. Little Knee

    Little Knee Seventh Year

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    Many fics about Snape is being written these days... Deathly Hallows movie sure creates many Snape lovers (or abusers? Maybe both)

    Anyway, the idea about 'Nick Snape' is good. But you need to put a lot of effort in characterizations of Nick, Snape, and Lily. Particularly Nick, because he is an OC with Harry's role as the Boy-Who-Lived.

    Then, Nick will start his first year in 1993, two years younger than Harry supposed to be. How about Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and others? They're all older than him, so I doubt Nick will befriends them like Harry does. You'll have a bunch of OCs around for his dorm friends, bestfriends, and (maybe) girlfriends. A lot of work you have to put there.

    That said, the idea is interesting. I look forward to it.
     
  19. Damask

    Damask Seventh Year

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    If that included my bunny, perhaps I should mention that I haven't seen the movie, and the fic isn't "about Snape" anyway, it just has him play an important part in the prologue. But you're right about that, though.
     
  20. Zeitgeist

    Zeitgeist High Inquisitor

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    The idea is interesting, but there are a few things I don't quite like with it. The first is the name for the BWL. 'Nicolai Evans Snape'? Nick itself is okay, but Nicolai sounds strange and might deter some readers, since Severitus stories often have that awful tendency of giving Harry's new, European names.

    Moreover, how similar are going to make Nick to Harry? You've already made him less likeable, I suppose, by giving him Snape's characteristic nose, which isn't endearing to everyone. Is Nick's personality going to be fundamentally different from Harry's? More demure and withdrawn, like the younger Snape?

    Petunia's involvement in this bunny is quite frankly, one of the more interesting aspects. I've always wanted to know how she'd react to the spawn of her sister and her worst enemy. If she flung a frying pan at Harry, I don't know what she'd do to Nick. D=

    Ultimately, the bunny is interesting, but one should be wary. Snape + his BWL son = not a positive reception at DLP, mainly because of Severitus.
     
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