I liked the new chapter, but the bar thing and 'Thorpe' feel like major filler, just like the Diagon Alley thug scene the chapter before. While Thorpe is probably going to be used in future chapters, it just seems kind of meaningless right now.

Hell, Harry doesn't really have to do any searching, since they are all looking for him. Trap, ambush, steal thoughts from DE's mind, done.

 

Is that your way of saying you don't care for criticism?

Just yesterday I say a thread in WbA featuring a rather bad story that was harshly criticised. The author was open to it and tried to improve the story upon it. I'd wager he(/she) made more friends with that than you with your posts in this thread.

At least I'd hope so.

If you look into the WbA subforum, you'll find its whole purpose is to make a story better - by collecting input from others. And the very good posts, those that provide thoughtful and useful criticism, are made by members who care about the story (or the author), want to help improve it and think it has (even more) potential. Criticism isn't about your failings as an author. It's about potential.

Obviously you don't have to agree with every single reviewer. But you'd be a fool to totally ignore any feedback. (And don't say you're writing the story for yourself - why post it then.)

DLP core values aside, this post conveys a certain intent and acceptance of plagiarising the story, so Silvere's response isn't totally off base.
€dit: Which doesn't mean DLP as a whole or the posters in question would actually approve of performing said plagiarism. Offer void in Kansas.

 

I personally am disappointed because this story had so much potential. The premise was and still is interesting and the first couple of chapters were quite good, which is a rare occurrence in and of itself.

Then the quality started fluctuating. One chapter made me think that you screwed it up, the next convinced me otherwise again. This is frustrating beyond belief because I know that the final product could've been so much better and that you had the ability to do so. That doesn't mean that I dislike this fic and I keep reading because I sincerely hope that you'll salvage this. The problem is not that this is a bad story, it just didn't live up to its potential.

 

... It was a joke. When have I ever written any-fucking thing? I'm a member of his yahoo group, for fuck's sake. You could've just asked me, you know... fucking twits. I've been here for six years, posting and lurking tough. I know this site like the back of my hand... and I wouldn't lower myself to actually steal anything from this story. Well, anything that belongs to Silvere, anyway. J.K's shit is a different story entirely, considering...

EDIT: And I figure I might take a stab at the genre anyway. Why not?

 

Story was updated.

I'm not so sure I enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. To me, Harry came off as slightly... childish. The whole chapter felt rather abrupt, jumping around from one thing that needed to be done to another. Not much consistency to the whole chapter. It felt rather like a rushed ending to the story.

 

I thought it was atrocious. It was way too much show and don't tell. As Plothole said, it skipped around way too much. It felt the author had a list of things to do and turned the story into a checklist. Harry and Bellatrix's ability to deduce every single important thing about Horcruxes and how Voldemort from nothing more than a partial childhood psychological profile was retarded.

The fight at the end wasn't that impressive, the altered prophecy was, as they nearly always are, incredibly lame and pointless. If the stabbing with the hairpin results in Harry getting sent back again I'll be incredibly disappointed. That would just be weak as a horrible plot device.

After this chapter, I'm going to have to downgrade my rating. It's no better than a 3/5 anymore.

 

Yeah, that was incredibly disappointing. It's really bizarre how much the quality of a single author's writing fluctuates.

 

Nearly 5 weeks since the last update, and we get this shit? Uhg. This story had many 5/5 chapters, a few 4/5s, and now this.

 

WTF was this shit? This chapter is a 2/5 at best. How can a story with so much promise go so horribly wrong with one chapter? I couldn't even bring myself to actually read the entire chapter. I skimmed large sections of it.

 

He seems to have fallen into the trap that all too often appears in time/universe travel fics: 'hey it worked once, lets do it again!'

So basically, these first twenty five chapters will have been for nothing. We're either going to go through the same time, but with a closer friendship between the two, or they'll end up going further back, and both of them being out of their own time.

I'd had massively high hopes for this, as H/Bella isn't really common (or well written), and this seemed to be doing ok. Next chapter could completely break it.

 

I'm actually thinking they might've gone to the future and had to deal with one where what they'd done actually somehow allowed Voldemort to win the war.

 

In the AN of the first chapter it is said that there is, in fact, two authors.

 

In his post earlier in this thread, the author said that there wasn't.

 

I don't even understand why he didn't just assume that Harry knew about Horcruxes. He was old enough to pass that period in canon but instead he pulled this forced explanation that a 17 year old Bella figured it out magicly. I really don't understand the motivations for some stupid decisions in this story sometimes.

 

....Wait. Didn't Harry meet Voldemort in the Riddle house already, a few chapters back?

 

Yes, and he barely escaped alive.

 

So what turn of logic or bad writing involves the idea, 'There must be a Horcrux there, lets go back, nothing could possibly go wrong'?

 

Bi Polar Ass Authors logic.

 

*sigh* Well, it may have turned to shit, but at least I'll have an excuse to sing 'Lets Do The Time Warp Again'.