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The Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Xiph0, Dec 10, 2008.

3.75/5, 4 votes
Page 19 of 31
  1. Scrib

    Scrib The Chosen One

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    Nov 5, 2011 #361
    I don't get it.
     
  2. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Nov 5, 2011 #362
    I think it's an EU joke.
     
  3. Alindrome

    Alindrome A bigger, darker mark DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Nov 5, 2011 #363
    The Eurozone crisis. Here is an article with a somewhat belittling title to explain: [link]


    EDIT:

    Shit. <_<

    Quote button is too close to edit. >_>

    Sorry 'Drome. D:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2011
  4. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Nov 5, 2011 #364
    Och, son, you just mangled that joke. It's roughly half the length of the truer version I've seen elsewhere and the punchline loses so much satisfaction in that method of delivery.
     
  5. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Nov 6, 2011 #365
    To tl;dr it for people:
    Ireland, Greece and Portugal have all been bailed out of economic crisis by Germany.
     
  6. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Nov 6, 2011 #366
    Is Oz being forced to fellate Merc and World in the Staff Room to pay off his share?
     
    Marsupial
  7. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Nov 6, 2011 #367
    I don't think World or Minion would be interested tbh. Not with my hair short anyway.
     
  8. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Nov 6, 2011 #368
    What'd the leper say to the prostitute?

    Keep the tip~
     
    DarthBill, Kang, Oz, Militis, Portus, Psychotic Cat, Lamora, iLost, Audeamus, Hero of Stupidity, The Arid Legion, Dnar Semaj
  9. Dnar Semaj

    Dnar Semaj Seventh Year

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    Nov 6, 2011 #369
    That's the version that I heard. I'm curious: what's the better version?
     
  10. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Nov 6, 2011 #370

    And that is how you tell the joke proper.
     
    Rahkesh Asmodaeus, Kai Shek, thisperson, Kang, Longinus, Irene, Alindrome, Zerg_Lurker, The Arid Legion, Lungs, Dnar Semaj
  11. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    Nov 6, 2011 #371
    Oh that is excellent.
     
  12. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Nov 7, 2011 #372
    Heh. Heard it this summer while at Scout camp with my son. That joke/skit took about 20 minutes and had the boys rolling.
     
  13. Dnar Semaj

    Dnar Semaj Seventh Year

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    Nov 7, 2011 #373
    Wow, I know way more racist jokes than I should

    That is much better.

    How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light build?

    Fish

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Three. One to do it, and two to argue about the sexual significance of the act.

    What can a pepperoni pizza do that a black man can't?

    Feed a family of five.

    Continuing along that line:

    What can a bench do that a black man can't?

    Support a family of four.

    How come there aren't any Mexicans in Star Trek?

    They don't work in the future either.

    What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

    Niggers.
     
    H_A_Greene
  14. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    Nov 7, 2011 #374
    You've apparently met the only lazy Mexicans in existence, then.

    That was actually funny. Too bad it's the only part of your post that was.
     
  15. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Nov 8, 2011 #375
    Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
     
    DarthBill, Khazad-Dumb, Militis, Scrib, Hero of Stupidity, Lungs, Dnar Semaj
  16. Exile

    Exile High Inquisitor

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    Nov 8, 2011 #376
    My personal favorite:

    The token black joke:

    (Semi) Handicap joke:

    Jew joke(x2):

    Helen Keller style:

     
  17. Dnar Semaj

    Dnar Semaj Seventh Year

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    Nov 8, 2011 #377
    That's OK. I figured most of my jokes would be swing-and-a-miss anyway. It's not like the dead baby jokes were any funnier for me.



    Did you know if you put your ear against a strangers leg, you can hear

    them say "What the fuck are you doing?"

    I will had see dead people.

    The sixth tense

    There was a doctor sitting in a ruined hospital calmly sipping tea amidst news reports of Armageddon.
    He looked back down as the young man said "Doctor! Ever since the bombs started falling I can't get an erection!"
    The Doctor narrowed his eyes and said
    "Sounds like you've got a nasty case of post-apocalimpdick."
     
  18. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Yoda Admin

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    Nov 8, 2011 #378
    Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream.

    What's black and screams?
    Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

    Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "huuuuughhhhhhhhhhrrrr"
     
    Zombie, Krogan, iLost
  19. Marsupial

    Marsupial Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Nov 8, 2011 #379
    If only there were more mosquito nets in Africa...

    then we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
     
  20. Skykes

    Skykes Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Nov 8, 2011 #380
    Video version
     
Page 19 of 31
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