You know if someone makes a Stargate crossover then Merlin was an alien and left tech behind...

Stupid jokes aside, the beautiful thing about magic is that the 'why' is irrevelant, the 'how' dependent on how much magic is part of the plot and the 'what' is that which drives the entire thing.

Sure there are exceptions like DF or Nasuverse for the first and HP in that despite being magic-heavy the how is nearly completely disregarded but in the end the main point is giving enough information so that the reader can have the context of the story and following it. If for example Avada Kedavra kills living beings within story then if it ever doesn't there needs to be a reason why.

 

Pretty sure I read this story. :/

 

As have I. It's called Every Stargate/Harry Potter Crossover Ever and the Deathly Harem. :facepalm

 

I feel so incredibly dirty right now.

uke:

 

To be fair, in the Stargate universe Merlin was an alien who left tech behind.

 

With you, is that good thing or a bad thing?

 

Parcel-magic. The mysterious and forgotten magic of the FedEx and the British Post Office.

 

I fucking knew it.

No way they could ring the doorbell/knock and be back to their van and driving away so quick.

 

I actually work for the Post Office; I'd love me some of that Parcel-magic :awesome

 

Calling the Invisibility Cloak a cape.

Why?

 

Because Harry wears a cape now. Capes are cool.

 

Ain't that the motherfuckin' truth.

 

Referring to the forces opposing Voldemort as "the Light Side" or any variation thereof. There's no basis for it in canon; hell, near as I can remember Hagrid's the only one who even says "Dark Side", and that's only twice.

More than that, though, it just sounds corny and out of place. (I'd argue that it doesn't even belong in Star Wars, but I digress). "Dark Forces" or some similar sounds fine as an alternative to Death Eaters, but it's just lazy to force an equivalent term onto the other side, especially when they aren't nearly as symmetrical as the phrase "Light Side" would imply.

 

People that mess with the monetary system, A whole set of Lockhart books can not cost 3000 galleons....

 

Maybe it's the Golden Curls Housewife edition.

 

You've been reading Rise to Power then? It gets worse since earlier in the fic they defined the pound/galleon conversion rate as about £5 per galleon, making it £15,000 for seven books, or almost £2000 per book. University books only go up to about $400 per book which would require a 1:1 BGP:GLN conversion.

At least they didn't have it as £100 per galleon, or it would be worth about two muggle houses in a decent location.

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I just found another pet peeve. When an author adds a throwaway line or scene that is never referred to again but completely changes the whole setting and fucks up the character of everything.

The example I'm thinking of is of a fic which is pretty light-hearted with zany situations but seemingly all of a sudden in one scene Dumbledore thinks to himself about the fact that all the teachers at Hogwarts regularly (with the knowledge of all the other teachers) rape then Obliviate the students, with the specific example that he is amused by the fact that Hermione still thinks she's a virgin. This has been going on for decades if not centuries, and the girls who get pregnant are love potioned into marriage with random other students. And that all the teachers knew that Lockhart regularly fucked up his lessons then obliviated the whole class into thinking he just read from his books.

All the teachers. Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, Lupin, Sprout. They are all complicit or taking part in raping students and obliviating them.

Its a real What The Fuck! moment, mixed with destroying the whole setting. Its never properly referred to again, nothing happens based on it, and the situation at the end of the story is the same. Completely fucked up, no idea why its thrown in, and I hate it.

 

Using scenes from the movies, it just makes me rage. I don't really mind if it's clear they are writing a fanfic of the movie, but when they just mix up scenes from the movies with scenes from the books, it just pisses me off.

 

And now I want to read it...

 

Stories where the Dursleys don't hate Harry and he grows up a perfect little gentleman. I imagine if the Dursleys liked him they would treat him like Dudley, and he would be just as much of an entitled, hateful little shit as Dudley was.