Huh, Harry as the teenage mogul of a wizarding porn empire.

God, I hope R' Blot doesn't get a hold of that idea - he'd most assuredly include his overused, nymphomaniac/seer/sociopathic Luna Lovegood.

 

I once read a fic where minutes was spelled minuets. Every. Single. Time. It was decently written besides that, if I recall correctly.

My newest pet peeve: Gred and Forge. I mean, what the hell? And when people use this, it isn't sparingly.

 

Isn't a minuet a type of music?

I remember it from Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Minuet of Forest?

 

It's some kind of dance, which I suppose is why this guy's spell checker didn't catch it.

 

We're online. If you want to know something, you just copy-paste it into the address bar. If anyone claims they have never heard this music, they're lying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on1DDSLdDOo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSE15tLBdso

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minuet

 

Helen Keller never heard that music.

 

Yes, but like most people who are online/use the Internet, we're lazy.

 

A quick story of net surfing that ends with a peeve:

SO I followed Wolf550's links to minuets used often in popular media, which took me to youtube where related links included another Boccherini work called Musica Notturna Delle Strade Di Madrid No 6, Op 30,
Never heard of it? It's the piece that has the end music/scene from Master and Commander as its fourth movement: Jack and Stephen begin a pizzicato strumming piece that picks up quite the verve of embarking on another adventure, as their ship turns to chase after the ship they had just captured, because the French captain was masquerading as the doctor and most likely would be trying to recapture it.

Listened to the whole piece (first link). Blown away.

The actual scene (second link) linked me to another end-scene great music moment: the final fight in The Last of the Mohicans, set to 'the Gael'; another string piece with great emotional resonance, particularly in that film.

It's a great end because it's a high-tension cascade of personal vows and moments of truth. So here's my peeve:

Why is it that so many fanfiction writers never put together a kick-ass climax scene? If any of these folks at least considered that a story has to have an ending, they might be able to complete their work instead of just letting a good idea peter out into... 'story goddamn motherfucking abandoned'.

 

I thought it was obvious?

Most people are fucking stupid.

 

I think the real reason for that is that a lot of fanfic is written to "fix canon", not with the idea of telling a story in mind. So once the scene is set and canon fixed, the writer doesn't know where to take it.

 

Everyone's first novel is shit. Some people can write their first novel ten times, instead of writing their tenth novel. FFN facilitates this. If it takes ten thousand hours of deliberate practice to be good, how many fics is that, and what quality of critique would it take for the practice to be "deliberate"? Most of FFN is people's first novels. Whether they write them to fix canon or not is immaterial. I remember the post-GoF wait, when nobody tried to fix canon because nobody thought JKR would fuck it up. People wrote plenty of fics, trying to guess how Harry and Co. would fight the newly risen Voldemort, or whether Harry will ever take a liking to Ginny. How is your work not trying to fix canon?

 

Spontaneous crossovers that pop up halfway through the story with no prior warning in the summary/story/etc.

Was just reading through Voldemort's Last Spell, a story where Harry goes through all major events in history and creates magic and all that stuff. In one of the later chapters he gets trapped for about a thousand years and then he's recovered by some soldiers.

Me: Awesome. Time to get back into things. Harry's gonna kick some serious ass.

Author: Lolno his name is Wolverine now.

...

What.

 

That made me go 'WTF' as well.

Harry just randomly becomes Logan/Wolverine? The fuck is this shit?

 

Indeed. It's weird though - I read this fic quite a while ago, and only a few parts stuck with me. I was also under the impression it was a lot better.

That said, I still look forward to a good HP/The Man from Earth crossover thing. If nobody writes one, I might do so after I finish some of the stuff I've currently got going.

Is it me or is there another story like this one, with Harry living the entirety of history? I'm pretty sure he becomes a vampire in the second or third chapter which is how he's immortal.

-shrugs-

 

I swear to Cthulu, if you don't finish Wand and Shield, I'll be so angry, I start swinging a cactus.

Also, when people spell definitely as defiantly. Pisses me off greatly.

 

Stinging hexes and the like, or rather authors that think it's a good idea for Harry to use first year spells when Harry is fighting for his life.
Recently I came across a fic where Harry tried using a stinging hex against Voldemort, but to be fair Voldemort used a Jelly-leg jinx so I guess he had to ramp it up a bit. Except for a few killing curses, and apparently this Voldemort doesn't know anything in between, this might just as well been a first year fight with Draco.
This was also one of those fics where Harry is a crying girl, and Ron is a bastard through and through, people keeps forgiving him, and it's forgotten 5 minutes later. I don't know what's more pathetic the author's lack of sense, or mine for reading that far before giving up.
In another fic an auror trained Harry considers a stinging hex a sound tactical decision, while a blasting curse or just a stunner might be more conducive to his well being.

Just the name stinging hex screams wimpiness. It's fine when Harry is a first year, after that it should only be used to annoy his friends or perhaps to get that girl to drop the towel at just the right moment.
It's not exactly new to see authors use strange spell choices, but after that awful awful story it really began to annoy me.

 

@ibskib you're reading bad fics. Stop. Unless you're immortal, you have better things to do.

 

One problem with HP fanfiction is that there are very few canon examples of spells that can be used in a fight. Which means we end up with endless stunners and Impdeiment jinxes. So I don't really mind seeing something like a Stinging Hex, at least it adds something with a bit of variety. I prefer to to seeing authors invent their own insanely retarded spells.

 

Either that, or just say that "then he cast another spell that did x". Really, the description of the effect is a lot more important than the name of the spell. I don't care whether it's called the St. Anthony's Fire Curse or the Instant Leprosy Hex, all that matters is that the victim lost his arm. Besides, if it's Harry vs. Voldemort, it just strains credulity for Harry to know the names of every spell to come out of Riddle's wand.

 

If it's any consolation I stopped there, and only came so far because of my need to finish fics, stopped there because Luna died, she was the only one in that fic I didn't find annoying, and that's probably just my bias speaking

I actually like the use of incantations, even if authors have to make up some of their own spells. I find that it can give fights a more visceral feel.