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Complete In Flight by gabriel blessing - M - Fate/Stay Night x Sekirei

Discussion in 'Fate/Stay Night' started by Dark Syaoran, Jan 17, 2011.

  1. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    The question is, if this entire chapter was removed, would anyone notice?
     
  2. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Auror

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    Meh, I don't think there IS any more info to dump.
     
  3. Necrule Paen

    Necrule Paen DLP Elite DLP Supporter

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    That is ok, there is always repeating previous info dumps.
     
  4. Feoffic

    Feoffic Alchemist DLP Supporter

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    Or spending 2,000 words attempting to correct the Sekirei's misuse of words like 'magic' or 'magus'.
     
  5. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

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    Honestly I think its just a symptom of the universe being crossed.

    *shrug*
     
  6. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    The source material may be mostly junk but gabriel is a good writer when he is not being dumb, Debt of a Sword and everything before The Hill of Swords proves that.
     
  7. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    It'd be such a sad cop out, but if Shirou just said "It's magic, deal with it," like, 300k words ago, this story could be finished already.

    I think just the fact I can say "300k words ago" means it's gone on long enough.
     
  8. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Headmaster

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    Well, according to his author's notes, he wanted to make the story one that people who had little to no prior knowledge of one of the series or both could read it without needing to do research to understand it, so that's part of it. Of course that makes it difficult for people who actually decide to learn about a show before reading fanfiction about it to wade their way through all the exposition.

    Add on to that how ridiculously convoluted the Nasuverse is and you get about 60% of In Flight's padding. The rest is all the character development that he put towards ALL the characters he could so as not to neglect one or the other, but when added together just drags the story as a whole down. That and his habit of using six lines where just one would do, explaining things that don't need explaining, and going off on random tangents in the middle of a conversation.

    Hmm, come to think of it he could really use the help of a good beta who isn't a yes-man and actually offers constructive criticism. Think we should try to get him on here?
     
  9. The Arid Legion

    The Arid Legion Professor

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    It's worth a shot I say. If he doesn't go running he could only improve by taking the advice people here have to offer, and enabling more good fanfiction to be written is always a worthy goal.
     
  10. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Auror

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    Currently, the man's only feedback comes from sycophants on the sub-forum, and he doesn't really post much there. It must be kind of scary, seeing that vile jungle spring from the single seed he planted.
     
  11. Amoral Philosopher

    Amoral Philosopher Seventh Year

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    I have to admit that while I pretty much agree with all the above complaints regarding the story, I still feel I really enjoy it and find myself looking forward to updates. Despite all the flaws it has, I would still rate the story at 4/5. It also probably helps that since I only have a half-assed knowledge of the nasuverse, the info dumps are not quite as annoying for me. For people who are not too familiar with the nasuverse, all the explaining does help flesh out the world the story is written in.
     
  12. Aerylife

    Aerylife Not Equal

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    Info dump is the only reason this story is so long
     
  13. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Weirdly, this was one of the better chapters. Probably because it was just two characters instead of the clusterfuck group of a harem he has. This story suffers from too many characters.

    In saying that, I find it amusing how often that Shirou says he is a terrible magus, then gets bent all out of shape over simple words. He can't help but correct them every time, because!

    It is amusing in a sad way.
     
  14. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

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    What? You dont like having to go through everyone's reaction in turn? Every. Single. TIME!?
    XD
     
  15. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Harems just suck. You can't really get any good character interaction or relationship in at all - especially if you try to do it fairly. And with the number of characters we're dealing with here?

    There's a reason why the relationship aspect of Postnupital Agreements was way more interesting to read than anything In Flight has offered so far. Shirou should have just gotten one Sekirei.

    I actually have about zero interest in the romance side of this story.
     
  16. DemonicInfluence

    DemonicInfluence Fourth Year

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    I agree that the scenes of everyone are fairly stupid. However, I didn't like this chapter probably because I'm just not of a fan of Matsu. The infodump just made it worse.
     
  17. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    She is probably my favourite because she is the only one that does anything decent. The rest of them sit around and do nothing, with the exception of the ice girl - at least she has been involved in some of the fighting and acts like a bodyguard.

    The rest could disappear and nothing much about the story itself would change overly much. Well, it'd be shorter.
     
  18. Tehlaziboi

    Tehlaziboi Ninja Meido

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    You know who I like the most? Miya. Sure wish Gabriel Blessing wrote a fic of her and Shirou hooking up.

    Owai-

    Right. Going to read that again and pretend this story never existed.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012
  19. Mutton

    Mutton Order Member

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    It's depressing because it shows he CAN write a fic that crosses the two universes over and have it be great without spending 300k words on infodumps. Hell, Postnupital Agreements came and went within the timeframe of a few chapters and it was 10x better than In Flight.
     
  20. Feoffic

    Feoffic Alchemist DLP Supporter

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