100% agreed, not say that it's alright or anything, just saying that the case for fanfic authors to cry abuse is unfounded considering the type of abuse and how it was perceived at the time by society.

 

Exaggerating the Dursleys' abuse in a fic isn't a peeve in itself, the only reason it irks me is because it's often used as a cheap way for hack authors to play the angst/PTSD card. Frankly I don't like reading about angsty or whiny characters (which is generally why I skip anything with a "trigger warning", see above discussion). Plus if Harry can face TurbanVoldemort, GinnyRiddle, basilisks, Dementors etc. with hardly an issue, it is ri-goddamn-diculous that some yelling and namecalling by known bigots would turn him into a snivelling bitch.

 

I so wanna see a story made where the Dursleys are nice and loving, but Harry ends up a muggle-hating dark wizard. Just because.

 

Dark Angel

Snape, Fred, and George rescue Harry from the Dursleys and discover that Vernon Dursley and Dumbledore are the masterminds of a muggle & magical child pornography/sex ring involving Harry. Vernon handles the muggle side, as well as the logistics of "training & handling" Harry and taping the "scenes". Dumbledore handles the magical side, as well as manipulating the wards to allow the magical "customers" to access Harry and making sure that he is forced to return every summer once he begins at Hogwarts.

 

What the hell

 

You need to be destroyed.

 

With liberal amounts of fire.

 

Honestly. Is that a response to that guy asking for a story where there's a loving Dursley family and Harry goes bad or something?

Because I don't think that is the kind of loving he was looking for.

 

I like how you don't even put a period or a question mark at the end of that; it just cements the statement.

Alexx, there is something seriously wrong with you. The fact that you came up with that in 26 minutes is worrying.

 

I went to a random chapter for shits n giggles, and like the first sentence included the phrase, "Severus Snape's courtship."

I mean good god. All Alexx needs to do to save face is provide that fic as an example of his pet peeve, but shit, the fact that it's close to a post asking for a story where the Dursley's treat Harry with 'love' is too damning.

 

That was just an example of why I loath Severitus. As for loving Dursleys there is:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8770795/1/Harry-Dursley-and-The-Chronicles-of-the-King

Some of my other pet peeves:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3807777/1/Harry-Potter-and-The-Acts-of-Betrayal

The Semiclassic 'everyone has been lying to Harry about everything' plot. Very AU. Bashing of pretty much everyone. Mind Control Sex. Language. Dumbledore decides the Old Families won't tolerate the Chosen One being with a mudblood. Sucks to be Ron Ginny

Love Potions, Manipulative!Dumbledore, Rapist!Ron, Mary!Sue Hermione etc

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7800970/1/The-Fine-Line-Between-Love-and-Hate

The Silver Marauders are the most popular group in school, consisting of Ron, Harry, Blaise and Draco. Hermione is the most unpopular girl in school. Blaise wants to discover the motivation behind Draco's constant bullying of Hermione. AU. Violence.

The whole Dramione genre is a fucking failure. They might as well rename it "Molest a mudblood and she will fall in love with you". These are applicable to most Snape/Hermione fics.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6631189/1/Severus-Snape-and-Vesperra-D-Monicas

The goal of this story is to completely rewrite the series from Snape's point of view- But I refuse to believe he never had another friend besides Lily Evans. Vesperra's everything he needs in a friend, and Severus is everything she needs. -ABANDONED FIC-

Misunderstood!Snape with complete Harry bashing.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5598642/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Betrothal-Contract

It's been done, but here's my shot at the old Marriage Contract type story. Harry and Daphne Greengrass find out their parents put together a marriage contract when they were born, now they must deal with it.

Ice!Queen Daphne

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3000137/1/On-the-Wings-of-a-Phoenix

AU, where nothing as simple as good vs. evil. A summer spent trapped in Number 4 and barred from contact with his friends leads to Harry accepting an offer to correspond with a Death Eater. The consequences of thinking for oneself are far reaching.

Pussy!Harry.

 

One of the things that annoys me the most in fics, is Slytherin Harry's personality. Most authors, (with few exceptions) throw any resemblance their character has with canon!Harry out the window and replace him with a unlikable smug bastard who somehow becomes the second coming of Merlin!Jesus!Salazar!Slytherin in his house by looking at Gryffindors and smirking like a twat with his group of rich friends. *coughtheyshookhandscough*

Slytherins become the misunderstood cool guys who are treated unfairly by the wizarding world for something they have no control over rather than the cowardly bastards they are. Although I would like to read about a more ambitious Harry, its annoying to comb through hundreds of fics which contains a protagonist I hate almost as much as Voldemort or Fudge.

 

Your snarky mention of They Shook Hands made me remember how much I loathe Blaise as a white girl.

 

Why do most of Fem!Harry fics have Fem!Harry paired with Snape or Malfoy?

 

Because the writer (usually female) can't write a male protagonist, and simply turns him into a girl that lacks any characteristic that made him who is. Usually turning him into an idealised insert of the author.

 

Better question. Why do so many girls find Snape and Malfoy so intriguing?

Snape's a fully grown man who feels the need to rage at a 11-year-old kid because he hated his dad and never got to shag his mom. Mature. Any later revelations, no matter redeeming, cannot change this. Also. HE IS UGLY!

Malfoy is a bigot. An idiot. Most importantly, though, he's a fucking coward. He's not a misunderstood bad boy. He's the polar opposite to Harry. Given everything and yet, still a douche.

Whereas Harry, given nothing, still a nice guy.

Fuck sake, pair him with Neville or something. At least that dude's a fucking BAMF.

@Alexx. When DLP accuse you of being a sicko, you really should do some soul searching. Just sayin'.

 

Magical Core.

Yes, Harry is strong. Because he has a big magical core. And we can't think of any other way to make him strong. And he brute forces his spells. With to much magical power. Because he's strong, with a big magical core. He sometimes experiences magical exhaustion. Which is magical.

And everyone has a magical signature, since fuck Polyjuice potion and invisibility cloaks, every sufficiently powerful wizard can sense other wizards and the're identity, instantly and at range without any preparation. Optionally their powerlevel, emotions and evilness.

Bonus point for naruto fanfics with chakra signatures, because clearly a ninja story has no need for subterfudge.

HPs not DBZ, you know.

 

Chakra signatures are actually canon, though.

 

Apparating to co-ordinates. I hate this.

 

For sensor types, not your average ninja. That's my canon dammit!