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Pet Peeves v.10

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Aug 13, 2015.

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  1. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

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    ...You completely missed my point. I was saying that when doing a crossover, you can actually focus on things other than actual physical confrontations. Once again, I point to nonjon's Browncoat, Green Eyes, a story which had very little physical conflicts/confrontations (All of which Harry dominated) yet it is still a great story.

    We can all fool ourselves into thinking that the reason we read Harry Potter is because of the compelxity of the characters, the protagonist, the tones or whatever but just ask yourself "Would I have read this series if the character's didn't have magic"? Sure, the other things are a factor but that's the main selling point. When you put Harry in a crossover and take away his wand (And therefore his magic), what exactly is the appeal?

    Besides, depowering a character for the sake of drama/tension is just stupid. It shows a lack of creativity because the writer relies entirely on physical confrontations to entertain the audience. Instead the writer should focus on other factors.

    As for keeping everything balanced: How many times has Batman gone up against Superman?
     
  2. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    "Custom" wands are really starting to piss me off there is no canon evidence for this shit.
     
  3. Ghosthree3

    Ghosthree3 Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    I see no issue with the idea of a a custom wand. Unfortunately it generally ends up being hand crafted with 6 cores that give Harry super magic.

    The idea is fine though.
     
  4. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    That's why it usually pisses me off. I have never come across a custom wand in fanfiction that sounds like a normal wand.
     
  5. Nuit

    Nuit Dark Lord

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    "Now Mr. Potter, run your hand over this box of highly potent and rare magical ingredients if you please."

    "Oh, Basilisk poison, Dementor essence and Phoenix tears. I dare say that's the most powerful combination I've ever had the opportunity to craft together."

    "By the way, this won't cost you a knut. The challenge was more than enough to compensate."
     
  6. Anomen

    Anomen Muggle

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    Harry being found at the Dursley's by [insert character that author likes here] and taken away, only to return to Hogwarts as a badass who hates Dumbledore(for sticking him the Dursleys) and hates Ron(just because he's Ron). Then psuedo!Harry gets a harem, because if you are going that far with the wish fulfillment, why stop?
    Edit: psuedo is actually spelled pseudo, but the coincidence was too good to change.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2016
  7. _GitGud_

    _GitGud_ Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    I think that would make me vomit. Is this crap actually common? I've only ever been dumpster diving once and that story merely gave harry the secret power of pedophilia. Thank recommendation lists for helping me avoid this dung.
     
  8. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Back from 2005-2008, it was the standard harmony and indy!Harry opening, the escape from dumbledork and moldyshorts required a shopping trip for a magic trunk and a custom wand.

    Ah, the old days.
     
  9. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I would seriously consider reading an indyHarry harem fic where his custom made wand had a set of Veela ovaries in it.
     
  10. _GitGud_

    _GitGud_ Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    His wand would soul bond with him and allow him to get mpreg with male Veela!Draco's child.
     
  11. M.L.

    M.L. Groundskeeper

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    Or milk of a veela...
     
  12. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    'Arry you simply must stop sucking my tits. Those are for our daughter.
     
  13. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

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    Fics where Harry instantly becomes a prodigy in a subject due to some easy, hand wave solution. For example, becoming awesome in Transfiguration by visualizing more, or in Charms by believing hard enough, etc, etc.

    If it were that easy to become good in any magical subject, there wouldn't be a five year minimum requirement, another two years if you're particularly good, and probably several years honing your knowledge and abilities after that if you want to be classified as really good.

    Is it fine for a character to be a magical prodigy? Sure. But don't try to tell me the only reason Harry got an Exceeds Expectations on his Charms O.W.L. instead of an Outstanding was that he didn't fucking believe hard enough.

    It's stupid, it's lazy, and shows how little the writer cares about actually creating interesting challenges and obstacles for Harry to deal with. The worst part is, if the writer actually tried they could do something really cool. Specifically by focusing on individual spells instead of just saying "Harry gets really good in all the subjects".

    Think of some of the cooler moments in canon. For example, the moment when Harry uses the Patronus to ward off a fuckton of Dementors at the end of PoA. For me, that was one of the biggest "fuck yeah!" moments of the entire series. For the entire year we saw him struggle against Dementors - having them show up and fuck up his day, time and time again. And then we see him struggle to learn the Patronus, failing again and again, hearing his dead mother's screams every time he's unable to produce a patronus.

    And then finally, finally, he saves the day with the spell he spent an entire year learning. There's tension in the moment (because the dementors are closing in, and James hasn't shown up!), and even more tension when Harry actually casts the spell (because we've only seen him succeed once, and that wasn't against a real dementor), and there is a sense of achievement when he emerges victorious, because he deserved it.

    I've seen stories where Harry is able to form a corporeal patronus on his first attempt. Fucking really? Well, at least when you have Harry get attacked by dementors, I won't even entertain the thought they could be a threat.

    Harry's struggles make the reader more invested in him. There's a reason why Hermione wasn't the main character - no one wants to read a long list of awesome spells someone has learned, or how someone once again got a spell on their first try because they're super smart know-it-alls who perform magic as easily as they breath. It's boring.

    But whatever. I guess the Patronus doesn't require a happy memory, just a happy feeling. If only canon Harry had realized this simple explanation for his failures! The third book would have been so much better.

    Sorry for the rant, this shit just really bothers me.
     
  14. Jazz-Meister

    Jazz-Meister Disappeared

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    Well, don't think this one specifically has been said yet, so:

    Fics that bash Dumbledore for not leaving Harry in the care of wizards, and then immediately after have Harry's asshole fame-obseesed brother walk in, who is only a fame-obsessed asshole because he was left with wizards.

    I... just cannot deal with this.
     
  15. ken

    ken Muggle

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    Pet peeve in not only HP fanfics but in all fics is bad grammar from long running authors.
    Like the stories from megamatt, crappy as they are I'd at least be able to read them if it weren't for the bad grammar that he never fixes cause he refuses to get a Beta.
     
  16. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Ironically, this post has less than stellar grammar.
     
  17. arkkitehti

    arkkitehti High Inquisitor

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    I'd say it's likely that Fleur's wand was a custom job, as it's pretty unlikely that a) her grandmother would have just donated hairs for a wandmaker (who would do that?) and b) that said wand would have "chosen" her specifically.

    Really I think there would definitely be market for custom wands for vanity reasons. We already know that many wizards use wands that have not "chosen" them (Neville, Ron, Draco; hell, even Voldemort), so some arrogant bastard wanting and being willing to pay for a basilisk fang wand seems perfectly reasonable for me.

    Now, Ollivander - who clearly feels strongly about his theory that a wand chooses a wizard - making a custom wand for a customer is a bit more unlikely.
     
  18. Ashton Knight

    Ashton Knight Disappeared DLP Supporter

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    Yeah it was ;).
     
  19. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    It also made sense. Custom wand in fanfiction rarely make sense.
     
  20. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Well, you can't tell me Ollivander occasionally drinks too much port and decides to make a wand-cane, and one just happened to pick Lucius, so... custom wand 'mounting' is a thing, apparently.

    A classic example of failing to simply stop and ask yourself if what you are writing is, in fact, stupid for some reason.

    I hate that shit.

    ---

    Distain / Disdain

    That first one is not a word.
    -

    Fawkes is male, not female. The books aren't even a little ambiguous about this, and neither are the movies. Unless you're writing an AU where, for some utterly pointless reason, Fawkes has had his gender switched, then you're just a thoroughly unobservant twit.
    -

    Draught of Living Death / Draught of the Living Dead

    The first one is a potion in the Harry Potter canon.

    The second one is when you catch a chill because a Romero zombie left the door open, or simply the product of utter laziness on the part of a fic author.
     
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