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Advice.

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Verse of Darkness, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. Verse of Darkness

    Verse of Darkness Denarii Host

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    I was thinking about starting a Naruto fanfic, but I have a couple of questions that needed to be answered:
    • How would I make the story seem darker compared to the original manga? Would I need to add more blood, gore, cursing, etc.?
    • Fighting scenes, how would I add more flavor and detail to them instead of; sending a punch, etc. How would I add more flavor/
    • Currently, the plot is about Naruto taking Jiraiya's original chocie (training with him in exchange of giving up hope on Sasuke), which goes into the timeskip. Is this a reasonable way to change Naruto's personality and battle capabilities.?
    • A twist I wanted was instead of Naruto combining with Kyuubi after the battle he had with Sasuke, I wanted the restraint on Kyuubi to lessend, which could result in the Kyuubi to enhance and act out on his negative thought.
    • Currently I have no plot besides the two listed, would invoking a Shinobi War be a wise desicion to make? Putting in a Shinobi War in the story smart at all?

    This is all.
     
  2. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

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    Eh putting in a Shinobi War you would have to actually make a good excuse. Also you would then have to involve everyone else in the fighting which, depending on your skill level/comfort level with fighting scenes, may cause you never ending grief and/or happiness.

    For fight scenes, you would have to be more descriptive. Ex:
    It would be more like
     
  3. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Make naruto himself darker. Make him laugh less, make him forgive less. make him prone to at very least minor vengence for wrongs. I'm not saying make him a sasuke clone, I'm suggesting you crack a chunk out of his mask and have him react more like a normal human when someone wrongs him. of course if you want it to adhear closly to cannon you allow these to be cracks in the mask, momentary flashes that let your readers know what's going on, while the actual characters either brush off, or miss altogether.
    mercenary gave an excellent example for this. instead of stating an action, walk us though it, from the dodge to the leg sweep, from the back flip to the handseals for the jutsu.
    yes, especally if you start showing those cracks in the mask
    Naruto doesn't seem to like losing control of himself. While this is an excellent idea, and a good plot device, it's likely to make naruto less excitable as he will have to watch his emotions so the fox doesn't act out.
    A shinobe war, while an excellent way to envoke emotion and write battle scenes, tend to be just that, a reason to write bloody, gory battle scenes involving larger numbers of people. if that's what your shooting for then yes, it's an excellent Idea. if your trying for more of a personal connection then I would avoid it, at least for a while. You'll want a solid base to build from so that your readers already have an emotional attachment to the people in question. The rumblings of an imminant war however are rather good suspence builders, especally if you have one of your main characters turn in incident that would initate that war into a good reason to avoid it.

    For now anyway ;)
     
  4. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    The only advice I have really is in regards to the Shinobi war.

    If you're planning on writing a novel length fic, build up to it for 40 000 words, show the behind the scenes maneuvering that is causing the strife, and once the war starts, don't just write the fight scenes for the war, include everything else from the espionage to how their life styles have changed.

    If you have Naruto heavily involved in the war it could be a great way to make him, and the story itself darker.
     
  5. Verse of Darkness

    Verse of Darkness Denarii Host

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    Thanks a lot for the help guys.
     
  6. C.S.Kaniel

    C.S.Kaniel Fourth Year

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    Though not a good writer in any sense of the term, I feel like presenting my opinion, so...

    Changing Naruto's battle capabilities over the timeskip would be incredibly easy to do, as well as plausible. I mean, he DID leave to TRAIN for three years, not become a scholar or anything. Changing his personality, however, depends on how you write it. I mean, having him train with Jiraiya under normal Narutoverse standards and have him come back to Konoha waving a wand and shouting Tel Ma Ameris is going to be a bit much, to say the least. If, however, Jiraiya wanted Naruto to beat the hell out of Sasuke to the point where he shattered his bones during training on a regular basis and tore off limbs (I'm assuming Kyuubi can heal limb loss because, come on, he's the most powerful of the Bijuu. He has to do SOMETHING.), then a changed Naruto would be acceptable.

    I'm not sure what you mean with the Kyuubi and Naruto scenario. Do you mean Kyuubi acting out to protect him, or Kyuubi taking advantage of the weakening seal to possess Naruto Shukaku style when things get too hot?

    While a Shinobi War would be a bit difficult to write and plan, it's not all that implausible. Hidden Sand doesn't like them and only tolerates them because of Gaara and because they hate Sound more, Sound wants Konoha conquered, I'm not sure if t's canon or fanon but Rock hates them too, for the Yondaime... The possiblities are many. Go hog wild.

    That's all I can think of right now. I'll probably edit this later after I get some Coffee in me.
     
  7. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    ...A simple, yet effective method...

    Make it as realistic as possible. Reality is a pretty dark thing to begin with. No sweatdrops, face faults or any other stupid shit. No Rock Lee/Gai-sensei crashing waves and sun set mural while they hug, no love hearts appearing in eyes. No twenty bowl ramen sessions, no Tsunade punching people through walls just because someone says something she didn't want to hear, no... well, you get the picture.

    Gritty realism.
     
  8. Verse of Darkness

    Verse of Darkness Denarii Host

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    Like some may agree, theoritically, I wanted Jiraiya to break Naruto mentally so that he could prepare himself for similar encounters. The more I thought about the story, the most I wanted Jiraiya to go too far, too far to the point that Naruto has no one to return to but to the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Now I don't want to make Naruto soley depended on the Kyuubi, but to be as... much as influenced by the fox. I guess the Kitsune tries to fix Naruto mentally, but also shape Naruto but not too much. I'm hope I'm not confusing you guys too much.
     
  9. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Having Jirayia take it a step to far during training is all that you would need to make it a darker Naruto. Either he snaps believing himself abandon and Kyuubi capitalizes on it, or Naruto withdraws leaving the mask in place to hide his true thoughts... and Kyuubi capitalizes. either way, Kyuubi starts exerting more influence on Naruto.
     
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