Title: Angel In The Machine
Author: The Hollow Man
Words: 151k - spans over 20 chapters
Status: WIP - on hiatus but expected to be getting updated again any time soon.
Summary: Ash has spent his entire life suffering from oppression and intolerance. Unable to use spiritual energy and lacking a family, he spends his days trying to get by. But after discovering the world of aura, he may not even survive... AshxHarem
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7082160/1/Angel-In-the-Machine


....Since I'm so active today and there is very few Pokemon fics posted on this site - that I can find - I decided to post this up for review and hopefully give you guys a very good fic to read.

Right, this fic is great in my opinion. As far as I'm aware, this plot is wholly original, well Pokemon wise.

It features a dark cynical under-dog Ash, who was orphaned at a young age and discriminated against because he could not use the energy that all other trained children could - KI.

But, that's because he could use an energy even more powerful in the form of Aura.

The harem aspect is handled really well in this, and even then it is rather small compared to normal harem standards nowadays in fanfiction.

The characterization is great, the dialogue even more so and the fights are very well written.

If you're looking for a whole new take on Pokemon in a more dark world, and love dark cynical protagonists, then this is the fic for you.

I won't spoil it for you guys, because this is a fic worthy of not being spoiled. But, I suggest you read it all the way through because damn is it a good pass time.

I'd rate this as a solid 4.5/5 fic and round it up just because it's such a great fic considering it comes from the Pokemon Archive and that place is just full of a metric tone of shit!

 

Okay, i will admit i was a bit apprehensive about this one seeing as it is a pokemon au. But i was pleasantly surprised to find good characterization an interesting plot (so far) and most importantly in my opinion, a fic that finally explains the reason why humans are not extinct in a way that makes sense.

So yeah i would be willing to give this 4.5/5

 

Decent for what it is, but harem fics in general do not appeal to me. I also do not like the occasionally awkward style he uses, but I figured that English was not his first language so whatever.

3/5

 

In the past eleven months, he's about a quarter of the way through the next update. However, it seems all the rest of it was done in the eleven months before that. A long hiatus isn't great, but I've seen much, much, worse.

It's nice to see different regions having different mindsets, but without a complete and utter "region QQQ is the best because AWSUMS!", which does occur somewhat frequently. It also shows through the characterizations.

The complete lack of gym leaders is confusing. Oh, they're there as characters, but gyms don't seem to be things any more. Whilst that makes sense in the story, it's mildly jarring to come in to.

The ki and aura stuff is new. Well, the ki is, but apparently aura is part of the show. It's well enough explained that I didn't really have a problem with it. It does also give reasons as to why pokemon haven't wiped humanity from the face of the globe yet. It does need a bit of refining though - everyone has ki, in varying amounts. You get better at different sorts of ki depending on your bloodline, and what pokemon you train. I think. And training.
Basically, they have Furies.
And pokemon.


Writing isn't excellent, but it's much better than the majority of the fandom. No major issues, and only one typo that really threw me (getting anonymous and unanimous confused).

A few plot things. All spoilered because plot:

Spoiler

I'm having trouble believing that Ash, and his pokemon, is as powerful as he seems in this. He's had his official license revoked, and is only allowed to start competing during the story. I would have thought this would mean his pokemon would be weak. Or underlevelled (even if this doesn't talk about levels).

They are not. They are able to compete at an international level, and win. Repeatedly. And we've been told they won't lose for quite a while.

They aren't as curbstompy as Brock's - his geodude took out a team of three, but Ash's tend to only manage one before subbing out - but all of his pokemon are strong. This isn't an issue for me, because a lot of the story doesn't focus on the pokemonVpokemon battles, and the troubles are elsewhere.

The over plot doesn't seem to be going anywhere hugely fast though. I know it needs build-up, but we're 150K in, and we know that there are bad guys, and they're demons, some humans have sided with them, and they are opposed by aura users. We know they are abusing Dawn in some way. And they are trying to kill Ash.

However, the romance plot is probably going to important, and this tournament sets the scene. So I can see why we've been focusing on this rather than anything else.

The humour tends to be quite good, and I don't have any real problems at all except for the update rate.

4/5

 

This is a decent pokémon fic- certainly not in the league of Game of Champions or The Sun Soul, but still an enjoyable read.

There were occasional spelling and grammar mistakes but not enough to make reading painful. The characterizations were pretty good, and the plot was interesting enough. My biggest problem with this fic was the interactions between Ash and the girls. I'm having trouble pinpointing exactly why, but I frequently found myself growing annoyed by the way the characters interact.

Overall, I'm not entirely sure this belongs in the library. I'd give it a 3.5/5, rounded up to 4.