Isn't Anita Blake a pornstar? Or am I thinking of someone else?

 

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XD

(accidental winnery is winnery)

 

The exception was comparing Harry to Xander. Harry was like that in Canon because J.K. was a fucking idiot who was trying to do Harry=Jesus.

Xander was like that because for most of the series Spike rapist/serial killer, was taking the spot normally given to the Badass normal.

 

See, this, I don't get. If she was trying to make him like Jesus, why'd she make him so pathetic? From what I understand, Jesus was a badass who went around making his own booze and killing trees for pissing him off. Harry Potter tasted liquor once, and got attacked by a tree. The only similarity I see is that they both died in a series of events set up by someone infinitely older than them, to defeat that person's greatest enemy, but came back from the dead for the lulz.

 

Can you link me the video?

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Jesus was a Jew too so basically it brings the two characters on the same level. Because jews have been known to exaggerate. Reference: the holocaust.

 

Anti-semitism doesn't change the fact that Jesus was a way more badass wizard than canon Harry.

Wastelands of Time!Harry, or Denarian Harry on the other hand...

I think it'd be an awesome fight.

 

Yeah, except Jesus would throw the fight to save Harry's soul.
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Why are we talking about this?

 

Obviously you haven't read any of the cool books in the bible.

I think that crazy Jesus (the one who killed a bunch of people in the infancy gospel of Thomas and got pissed off at a tree for not giving him fruits during a season when it doesn't have fruits) would probably just try to kill him.

And I think we're talking about it because I found JK's religious allegory to have been thw worst possible way to do it. If you're gonna make a kid Jesus, at least make him one of the cool Jesii.

 

My favourite Jesus is 'too cool for you' Jesus. Like that time when they bring him an adulterer (prostitute?) and ask for judgement. And he sits down on the ground and starts drawing in the sand with a stick, ignoring them.

Anyway, to re-rail thread: It is possible for a story that totally changes canon characterisation to be enjoyable, as long as the progression makes sense and is consistent with the character. That's my opinion.

 

My favorite Jesus was the Gnostic one. I forget the gospel (I think "of Judas" but I'm not sure), but the basic premise is that the Kingdom of Heaven is here on Earth and the only way to perceive it is to remove all normal sensory perception.

 

Every time I see a post here, I check the thread in the forlorn hope that some good Anita Blake fic has been dug up from some deep buried hole in the internet. I mean, there HAS to be one somewhere right? And maybe it's finished, or at least not abandoned?

 

I'd like to say that my favourite Jesus is the batshit-crazy-cursing-trees one, but there's a very significant chance he doesn't exist.

The Jesus that Rowling should have based Harry off of was

 

137.2% agreed.

 

Well, I'm in the same boat as you. It got me to dust off an AB/HP story I'd started eons ago. I've just posted it for short amusement in WBA. Enjoy it for how much is there: The Stalking Blood Sack

 

^^ Shameless self-advertisement is shameless? No, really. I do look in this thread for something to read. Honestly, after reading some Anita Blake book summaries on Amazon, I find myself wanting to skip canon and go straight to fanon, but I might eventually go pick up the books. Bah...

 

So basically this thread is about Jesus and a pornstar named Blake... wow I love DLP.

 

Not sure if sarcasm or not, but you're aware that Anita Blake isn't an actual pornstar, right?

 

This thread went to an interesting place. To return to topic:

I haven't seen any good AB fics, apart from the ones already posted. It's hard to find them; most AB fic is even worse than the average HP fic.

 

Oh sorry I was thinking about Cameron Diaz. My bad.

 

The problem is that LKH has a don't ask don't tell policy regarding fanfic, like a lot of authors, which is odd since half her male characters liek teh cock.

Sometime, about 5-6 years ago, I guess, she inadvertently found out that ff.net was hosting AB fics. Her lawyer's policy, at the time, was that if she knows about it then she has to do something about it. So, ff.net wiped the AB category off the map. You can still find them, but you have to actually look. It's kind of like the no NC-17 rule. It's there just not advertised.

Your best bet is going to the other sites. TTH has a pretty large number of them, but TTH has a hard on for drabbles. Most of their stories are less than 5000 words, with a shitload less than 200 words. Annoying.

Then there's the quality of the stories you'll find, most of which are slashfic, or S&M based, due to Narcissus in Chains (The beginning of the crap/porn canon stories where the sex is more important than plot.)

Even my own AB/BTVS stories are antiqued and cliche already.

Good luck with that search.