This is a game @Newcomb and I like to play: you take something from Archer and transpose it into a Harry Potter setting, or otherwise a snapshot of a moment inspired by Archer-like interactions.

(We played around with the idea of a fic but it would literally just be Archer with a face-lift.)

Some examples:

 

"...and THAT's how you get Bowtruckles."

"Hello, broomsticks? Yeah, it's blimps. You win!"

"Wait a minute. You liar, this isn't a condom wrapper! It's a chocolate frog!"

"Immigrants! That's all they do, you know. Just fly around listening to raps and cursing all the jobs!"

"You can call me Sorceress Von Fingerbang."

"It sounds like Ottery St Catchpole is the Alabama of the Wizarding World"

 

"Dobby is sorry to say that Master Harry Potter's breakfast will be three minutes late."

 

"I call him Fisto Golemo! But he doesn't just fist. He's a fully integrated multi-fetish artificial being. And the best part is...he's learning."
--- Post automerged ---
"I want to file an HR complaint against Malfoy."

"On what grounds?"

"He touched my wand. With his wand."

 

There has to be something in there for Snape's put a stopper in death speech and Krieger's clones.

 

It should surprise few that I have a file with ideas for such a fic... and it should surprise no one that it's not enough to make an actual story out of and will never see the light of day.

That's what this exchange was for, though it could have been an OC veela Harry was guarding, and not Gabrielle.

Amelia managed to scowl at him with both her remaining eye and the plain black patch where the other should have been. It was a decent effort, as scowls went, but entirely wasted on Harry,

"Harry James Potter, you will not touch a single hair on that girl!"

"You know, that's a very flawed order, given how much ground you could cover on a veela her age without ever encountering any-"

"Harry..."

"Exactly! Well... almost. If you're going to finish my sentences, at least do it right. Hey though, it would be the first mission where I could follow your orders, to the letter, using nothing but a paper ba-."

"If you say one more-"

"I mean, some of the full-blooded ones actually have down, instead, but that's not really the same thing."

"Dammit all, Potter! Get out of my sight!"

"Three steps to the right, then, ma'am?"

Really, it was amazing to Harry how loudly Amelia could grind her teeth and still be able to chew his ass every day.​

 

And, in a slightly different direction...

 

Out of IRC conversations, here's the beginning of my cast list for an Archer/HP mash-up.

CAST LIST

The Golden Trio - I'm pretty much sold on these three. Cyril is a less solid choice, but I think he fits best here.

Archer - Harry - Dickbag protagonist
Lana - Hermione - smarter than everyone and knows it, into social activism, highly competent and surrounded by idiots, maybe black
Cyril - Ron - third wheel tagalong, kinda lame but not as lame as everyone makes out, poor self-image, final corner of the love triangle

ISIS

Mallory Archer - Dumbledore - quoting @Taure
Dumbledore as Mrs Archer works so well: leader of the organisation, parental attitude towards Harry, but a shitty parental attitude where he gave Harry a shitty childhood which made Harry dependent on him...
Ray - Neville - Surprisingly competent and reliable, feels like he should be part of the main trio but skulks in the sidelines, gay
Krieger - Snape - skulks in the dungeon tinkering with unholy forces, dubious morality, carts around a hologram Lily waifu
Pam - Hagrid - big, lovable but disgusting, bad at keeping secrets, desirable full-bodied woman but nobody will have sex with him
Cheryl - Luna has the crazy, but Ginny is a redhead. I'm torn.
Brett - I would have gone with Neville, but he's taken. I'd want to save Seamus for Irish jokes. Nott, maybe?
Gun Librarian - Madam Pince
Hobbit Enthusiast - Flitwick

Others
Woodhouse - Dobby
Fleur - Katya
Troy - Cormac
Barry - Draco - Archer's rival
Nikolai - Grindelwald - secret affair with ISIS!dumbledore over decades
Burt Reynolds - Sirius

 

This is very good. Two small thoughts, though.

I like the choice of Nott – he’s pretty much a blank slate – but perhaps Brett could also be Cedric? Kind of an unlucky fellow (to put it mildly) who gets killed at some point because he‘s superfluous.

For Cheryl I‘d go with Luna, also because of the appropriate amount of crazy. Ginny, in turn, could be an OC, some fresh-faced ISIS agent fangirling over Harry, to take some moderate tendencies from HP fanon? Maybe Cyril‘s Surprisingly Hot Sister? There‘s no other obvious (Archer) canon part that really fits her. At least I can‘t think of one.

 

"Harry, my boy! The thought of me dying gives you an erection?"

Holy shit. 5/5 for me already, and it's not even written yet.

 

Filch: It's just, fer the third year runnin' now fer Christmas yeh've given me a sherbert lemon
Dumbledore: And so you're faced with the classic Squib's dilemna: do you eat it now, or let it ferment so you can drink it?

or this, but from Dumbledore:

 

Dammit @CareOtters, I've already started working on the pilot! (I mean, first chapter).

Edit: Great casting decisions, by the way. More or less in line with my own.