Uh, you misspelled the author's name in the actual title.

But, for the more serious topic of the story, I wound up reading this when it first came out, and thinking that it was alright and that there were parts of it that I really liked and parts of it that I really really disliked.

I don't recall a lot of the story anymore, but I do remember that he had dream visions or something, and the entire plot was centered around this evil vs. good idea within his own mind. And, uh, I wasn't a huge fan. The persona never really... made me seriously view it as a villain. And I get that there's supposed to be a whole lot of foreshadowing going on with the mind-villain potentially turning Harry away to the Dark Arts, but it just never came across as a serious threat to Harry, especially with Daphne there continuously pushing him towards the right path.

I agree with Sesc in that the characterization of Daphne is one that I very much enjoyed and wished I could see more in other fics rather than the 1D tropes that have been the norm for her.

It's something that I read while it was still updating, but it wasn't something that had any of that "wow" factor that I look for in fics that really grab my attention.

Meh. Sesc probably is right that it's 3/5.

 

Obviously I tried this story. In fact, I tried it multiple times. Couldn't get into it at all. I can't give specifics because it's one of about a dozen regular updating, >20k HPDG fics I keep trying to read, and the fact it doesn't stand out among that lot says something.

Not library worthy. At best, almost recommended. But I'm saying 2.5 rounded down.

Edit: a cursory review to jot my memory and I will concede I was overly harsh. My gut instinct is still "almost recommended" as I begin to recall the specifics, but I should have at least rounded up to an honest three. I will move my vote to 3 for now until I've reread.

 

Well I'll give it another shot tonight, because our tastes tend to be very similar (read: quality). Give me a ballpark chapter if you don't mind where if I am not pleased then we can chalk it up to an irreconcilable difference of opinion.

 

I'm trying to read this now, and finding it hard to like. I can't stand the fact that Harry doesn't know the name of one of 40ish students in his class. Just how stupid is he?

 

This is a huge peeve of mine. Probably the biggest. Even worse though, it's canon (year five Hermione tells Harry who Theodore Nott is).

 

I'll echo this. While reading this I find myself skimming too often. Something about it fails to engross me.

/shrug

 

I agree. I'll also give it a 4/5. I like the character development and judt the story in general so far. I'm about 18 chapters in and the 'going dark' or getting 'addicted' to dark magic is an interesting premise to me so far it's falling a bit flat or more like Daphne is keeping him level headed so far and away from it.

It will be interesting maybe later if the author pulls it off right on how Daphne will help him when he gets pulled to deep, as that's how I see it building up too.

 

So... can I assume it's a slowburn Flamata?

I realized specifically what annoyed me. Chapter 1 is very roundabout prose for what amounts to an abridged version of canon summary. The differences are for the most part minor (Harry telling off Luna and Neville) and some of it is very jumbled (Harry talking about Slughorn). Romilda felt like the author had her cameo because he had to because that's what happened next on the train.

Probably best bet would be to start at chapter 6 or so and just assume premise is: Canon thus far, except Harry is aware Daphne Greengrass exists.

 

Okay chapter 4 was definitely solid. Not great, but I didn't feel the need to skim, and have no issue hitting "next". An honest 3/5 chapter, without rounding. If it maintains this level of quality + doesn't fuck up Daphne, I would read no probs.

First three chapters could be axed, and probably drag the rest of the chapter down around it because you're still searching for the hook. But props for improvement.

Edit: [MENTION]Sesc[/MENTION] As promised, a proper review now that I am at Chapter 14.

I still say it's 'almost recommended'... but it's at the top end of that spectrum, not just creeping into it for Daphne's sake.

There's improvement but the pacing is still too slow, even for the 'slice of life' flow of the piece. I think its the amount of dialogue that's the culprit here. It's not even necessarily bad but occasionally there are blocks of speech that I glaze over on, usually when it's reiterating something for the nth time.

But it' no longer game breaking. I stongly suggest new readers go ahead and skip to chapter four or five; that will get rid of the worst offenders without missing anything meaningful to the plot: just know that Harry has returned to school, bumped into Daphne so knows she exists, and she appears to be your typical neutral Slytherin girl, the worse excesses of ice queen trope thankfully absent.

Things I like :
- The dialogue does succeed in giving both Harry and Daphne a distinct voice. Props for that.
- That it's the Slytherin who is wary of the dark arts and is trying to keep Harry from going too far into it. Nice twist.
- Daphne rolls with opportunities when they present themselves, but isn't a master manipulator. Nice take, I like it alot.
- Slughorn
- Ron and Hermione are shunted to the side, but author doesn't go to town on them or anything; it's still clear they are Harry's friends and the forming distance is in a large way recognized as Harry's fault. Ron is a bit of a caricature but there's at least some effort being made to temper this.

So yeah: dialogue/pacing issues and some cheesiness of repetitive flirt-not-a-flirt but once you get over the summary chapters it's a nice HPDG fic when all's said and done. I like and can empathize with both main characters. Harry has an actual goal that isn't just being handed to him, and Daphne compliments this Harry well, even if at times the execution feels slightly off.

3/5, creeping upward. 4/5 if you are actively looking for HPDG, or have a high tolerance to pacing issues.

 

"Shall we go eat?" Harry asked, wondering if they wanted to go to lunch. The author has this really annoying habit of explaining his dialogue. Apart from that it's fair enough. 3/5.