Title: Fall of the Malfoys, Rise of the Blacks
Author: Hawk
Genre: Drama/Action/Adventure
DLP-Cat: Independent
Rating: T
Pairing: Unknown, maybe Harry/Narcissa or Harry/Tonks
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,347
Updated: December 25, 2006
Published: August 3, 2006
Status: Abandoned
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy has joined the Order of the Phoenix
and she has plans that could turn the Wizarding World upside down.
Not to forget how it will affect Harry Potter...

Author's Summary: The amazing redemptionman Fumblebore has done
it again, recruited yet another dubious person to the Light and inducted
them into the Order of the Phoenix. But Narcissa Malfoy is not a woman
to be taken lightly and doesn't suffer fools easily. She has plans of her
own, plans that could prove disasterous for the Order...
And Harry Potter, Champion of the Light...

Status: WIP (Two chapters plus prologue)

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3084198/1/

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I did a search and nothing came up so I'm going to assume no one else here has recommended this for the Library yet.

This is one of the more interesting takes on the end of the Order of the Phoenix I've seen in quite awhile. It features a snarky and wicked Narcissa Malfoy and one who doesn't care a fig about the Light or its goals--she cares only about surviving the war and getting vengence on Voldemorte for the destruction of her family. There are only three chapters but wow, what chapters they are! By the end of the first chapter there have already been two major character deaths and Snape is revealed as the bastard he really is. By the end of the second chapter Moody is seen for the wily and canny old Auror he should be and Dumbledore is brought to his knees in tears by the scathing tongue of Narcissa Malfoy. I'd say more but I don't want to take away from the enjoyment of reading the fic!

I heartily recommend this as it is and sincerely hope Hawk gets back to it sooner rather than later. The only major thing I dislike about Hawk is his annoying habit of doing a recap of the last two paragraphs of each chapter, and his long update times between stories (the guy's got quite a few of them to juggle,) but he claims he will finish them all.

--bornagainpenguin



Checked by Minion, March 10, 2013

 

Chapter length isn't bad, however the story has been around for around five months and so far only three chapters, also the author has to many other stories goin on, i'll keep my eyes on it.

 

Killginny009 is right. The story plot is good and it is fairly well written, though Dumbledore's breaking down in the 3rd chapter was a little odd, I doubt it is ever going to get anywhere because the author has so many stories going on.

 

it will be sad if the author gives up this story. i really like it as it is written well. 4/5

 

Very good, I like it. Narcissa seems like a good character and Moody is being as cunning and paranoid as ever (wonder what house he was in ).

I give it a 4/5 until there's more of a plotline.

 

hawk is fairly unreliable as an author though...
he has multiple stories in progress but doesn't update regulary.

 

Rather nice story, I would keep an eye on it, but it's not great. Dumbledore and order is too retarded (I know they are not brilliant, but really?) and those spikes things annoyed me. Werewolves are not so horribly different from other people, so why not to use some spell for them? (Or I just didn't get something?). And I didn't noticed explanation on how Harry got into manor (no wards, huh?).I think that travel with corpse was funny. But the story is well written, have promising paring, Narcissa's character is rather good, so 3/5 for me.

 

I agree somewhat with Dasha, but I think carrying around a couple of silver stakes with a wooden core/tip is a great idea. All round handy tool for dealing with Dark creatures, and Narcissa is really the high point of this fic.

 

just keep updating

 

From what I have read, this comes off more as a bastardization of The Redemption of the Black Sisters than anything else. Wether this holds true remains to be seen. Also, the writting just...rubs me the wrong way. Dialogue doesn't seem to be the authors strongpoint, and some actions by characters seem a tad overdone. It shows promise, but I'm not having high hopes for this story so far.

 

Well written in my opinion but there are some thinks which annoy me:

Dumbledore having a mental breakdown.... while he may have made some mistakes there is just no freaking way that a powerful wizard like Dumbledore (who is also a master Occlumens) is having a mental breakdown.

There are also some plotholes like Harry being able to simply walk into Malfoy manor or let alone him knowing where the manor is (wards anyone??).

 

Agreed, it has decent spelling and writing, but there are things about the fic that just rubbed me the wrong way.

The beginning wasn't brilliantly executed, and Narcissa put up little to no proper resistance (curses/hexes/etc) against Harry when he turns up at the house and takes Draco's body with him to get her to come back to Grimmauld Place. Her family may be dead, but a move to the Light is a bit of a leap even then. I also can't imagine Harry galivanting off to save someone else just after he's been led astray by a fake one and got Sirius killed, let alone to save the Malfoys. It says he was 'unable to contact the Auror guard', but a letter would have made more sense given his recent failures at interpreting the visions.

Harry also seems entirely trusting of Narcissa, and she's pretty trusting of him too. None of the Order members react very aggressively towards a known Dark witch being led into their secret headquarters and inducted to the Order, who then proceeds to criticise pretty much all of their techniques. And even though Draco has just died Narcissa remains composed and even exchanges a little banter. Also, not to be nitpicky, but she's an aristocrat, but still says things like 'you guys' and 'yeah'.

Not to mention Dumbledore 'bursting into tears' and bear-hugging Harry.

Still, overall it's a nice idea, it could just be executed more effectively. Perhaps if the author got a beta to check him when he starts straying into the realms of OOC, and point out some of the plot holes it could turn out all right. 3/5

 

That DD scene was really pathetic.

Still, 4/5

 

This should be an example for the writers not to start something if you can't complete it

 

Really? I thought that scene was hilarious! Maybe I shouldn't read stuff too late at night... --bornagainpenguin

 

Didn't enjoy it at all. 0/5

 

i award it 3/5

 

This is a great story so far. Its great to finally see Dumbledore finally realize the gravity of his mistakes with regards to Harry and Snape. Too bad that JKR saw fit to give Dumbledore a complete pass and allow him to die a noble and heroic death "for the greater good". (Pardon me whilst I vomit now.)

 

I kind of winced when Dumbledore had the breakdown. It can be argued that he has a soft spot in his heart for Harry and upon realizing how much he stomped all over Harry in the name of his Greater Plan, he could have had a rather extreme reaction.

That having been said, Narcissa's no-nonsense attitude about Snape and subsequent ramifications are well-done, IMO, as I like fics that have Dumbledore slapping Snape down after OotP and reading him the Riot Act.