1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete Firebird's Son by Darth Marrs - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Hw597, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Photon

    Photon Order Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    838
    Location:
    Poland
    Apparently it covered only Muggles, as Hermione etc were able to see him. But note that it was planned as assassination of children that were not supposed to know about any offensive magic and Muggles that were unable to see him ("Mrs Granger looked back but couldn't see anything"). Maybe also some terror - and here completely hiding him would be counter-productive.
     
  2. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    I'm still trying to understand why the fully grown wizard 'assassin' kept trying to catch up to a pair of 14 year old schoolgirls and their parents in order to kill them with a knife.
     
  3. DeathShade

    DeathShade Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2011
    Messages:
    111
    Location:
    The icy north
    I get the whole "We don't want to alert the muggles about our world", but why wouldn't he go in stealth? A knife sprouting from someones back might be weird. But people are not going to start thinking magic's the reason.
    And the cats kinda out of the bag when the girls start using stunners, so why not use magic to escape/fight back instead of stabbing a dude.

    He was going after two witches and thought: "I'll be fine as long as the muggles don't spot me."
    Yeah, they're not supposed to know offensive magic, but they do have eyes and a mouth to scream with.
    And the terror part could be accomplished with them sprouting knives/dying suddenly
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2013
  4. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,526
    Location:
    The Eighth Circle of Hell
    I'm sorry, but this in no way explains blaming Harry of all people who actually went waaaaaaay out of his way to save their lives. I could see her going off on just about every single responsible adult long before she'd to so to Harry. It's simply way out of character for the person we've come to know, somewhat, in this story.
     
  5. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    548
    Hermione has been part of a man-hating female dominated culture for the last 4 years, no doubt being told that wizards are the cause of all problems in those witch-only classes and all that.

    Not really surprising that she dumps the blame on Harry.
     
  6. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2006
    Messages:
    3,051
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The armpit of Ohio
    I can't really buy that, considering Hermione is one of an entire group of muggleborn who think the system is bullshit, and have reiterated that point numerous times. She'd really have to have drank the Kool-Aid to honestly think like you're suggesting ... but she hasn't, and she doesn't.
     
  7. Photon

    Photon Order Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    838
    Location:
    Poland
    Fortunately I never was in any situation like this, but from my experience: first reaction of shocked people is sometimes (usually?) unbelievably stupid. Especially in case of children.
     
  8. Atum

    Atum DA Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 26, 2012
    Messages:
    167
    Location:
    Nashville
    My guess is that she was a bit more upset by that invitation to the ball in Geneva once he told her the reasons for the invitation. It seems like she had this fantasy about him built up only to recognize that he was seemingly using her for her brain.

    At the same time, she does offer to bond with him. That was the confusing part for me, especially after all the crap she got for going to the dance. I think Marrs is still trying to decide how they're supposed to end up together and all we're getting is indecidision for now.
     
  9. melior

    melior Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2011
    Messages:
    226
    Darth Marrs has not once shied away from using fanon staples like soul bonds, magical cores, and the light-dark dichtomy, so I'd bet on the tried-and-true four house coven over having the name Greengrass appear as a red herring. And if Luna is considered the Aether element, then note how the bond limit for Harry went from four witches to five somewhere in the middle of the story. And with Cedric out of the way, Cho is going to be distraught...

    Anyway, I enjoyed this story. Hermione's bout of nonsensical anger in the last chapter was quite annoying, and I agree a couple plot points were rather out-of-the-blue like the tea leaf reading about the Lloyd coven. But despite the weaknesses in plot and characterization and the lack of flair, Darth Marrs' technical writing skills are solid, he's consistent, and most importantly, he finishes what he starts. He'd be an awesome programmer.

    Question though: how did Harry end up safe at the Dursley's after getting AK'd by Voldemort at Crouch's house? Did I just completely miss something there?
     
  10. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    IIRC he had a near death experience where he spoke with his mother, then woke up in the Graveyard and Moody was there. They took him to his relative's house after somehow confirming he was hit with the AK.
     
  11. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,284
    Location:
    Democratic Republic of The Congo
    So he posted to first chapter of the part II today.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9646669/1/The-Firebird-s-Song-Book-II-of-the-Firebird-Saga

    It's pretty awful.

    We begin with a fat muggle ruminating on his fat daughter. He quickly overhears a conversation between Harry and Luna, who have now bonded. I guess writing the actual romance was to hard, so we got a time skip instead. They seem to be on the run from the covens, and the smuggles with guns are now government sponsored and hating on Harry. The whole chapter feels half-assed.
     
  12. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2010
    Messages:
    375
    Location:
    Internätet
    I dunno about this, why the hell is Dumbledore letting Harry run around freely instead of pulling a Sirius and stuffing him under a fidelius on permanent house arrest? Doubt Harry would mind all that much if the alternative is becoming a terrorist on the run.
     
  13. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2006
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    The root of mt. Olympus
    Really? All everyone wanted to read was how Harry would finally snap and start doing his own thing and DM glosses over that? REALLY? Or is he keeping it for an 'emotional' flashback scene later?

    Taking into account all characters, ever written, in the entirety of the fandom, I care more about the flobberworms from 3rd book than the parents of muggleborn students, as they "band together" to "fix" or "combat" the wizarding world.

    Also, security service? And guns? REALLY?

    I could excuse any of that, if the writing was good enough. It's not. As deathinapinkboa rightly noted, it's half assed.

    Like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
     
  14. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4495+2362
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
     
  15. theronin

    theronin Order Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2013
    Messages:
    867
    That sums it up fairly well.
     
  16. Mutton

    Mutton Order Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2011
    Messages:
    862
    Has anyone told him what a crime against narrative structure this chapter is?
     
  17. Aerylife

    Aerylife Not Equal

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    141
    Location:
    Everywhere
    High Score:
    1,828
    Sigh. SIIIIIGH....SSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
     
  18. pdo91

    pdo91 Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Messages:
    495
    Location:
    Colorado
    It's not like we didn't know this was coming. At least Darth Marrs had the decency to end the first part of the story before it completely jumped the shark.
     
  19. Photon

    Photon Order Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    838
    Location:
    Poland
    DM produced impressive rant on suggestion that time skip to the plot would be a better idea than 30 chapters of exposition. Now we skipped over the plot. I am reducing my rating to 2/5 for the worst possible pacing.
     
  20. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    3,679
    Location:
    NJ
    You guys must have some rock solid constitution and tolerance to even make it past the first five chapters of this abomination of a story.
     
Loading...