To be honest, I don't know, which basically means I haven't thought much about it. I intend the revelaton of Genji to be significant and not based on some technicality.

Good point. You'd be correct that "this" info should serve some purpose but what that might really be is pretty up in the air, which is how I like it. As for what Jiraiya would or would not do. Well, I think your judgment would be looking with the benefit of outside hindsight. Under the circumstances, I think a very strong argument could be made for Jiraiya to withhold such info.

Huh, now that you mention it, I guess most people would be using hair color theory to draw the family tree. I actually didn't intend to pass Tayuya off as Kushina's daughter... but I think I might be able to use this.

Good point about Itachi, but I guess I wanted to try and see if I can use a canon "base" for my own stuff as opposed to building everything from scratch. It seems a bit easier to keep track of and allow me to jump quickly into development as opposed to having to set everything up.

 

You've never seen that? I mean generally they are crap but still there are a few out there.

As for this fic I'm going to say it's forgettable since I can barely remember a few details. Good while reading but it doesn't stick in your head.

 

I rather doubt there would be any angsting over his sister even if she is. Jirayia is the only one with the information, and he sure as hell isn't going to tell naruto. The kid will do his job, the enemy shinobe will be executed, and only Jirayia will be the wiser. Job accomplished.

I certainly liked the story, but the last third of this last chapter or so put me off. It doesn't seem to be a naruto story anymore. His ANBU alter ego has completely taken over his life, and frankly he and jirayia could still have pulled off the revelation that he was Naruto. Yes it would have been more difficult, but it was still certainly doable. especially in the council where he was already respected for his abilities.

 

Yes, you're right. Naruto and Jiraiya actually could force the issue and they absolutely WOULD win, the question is "should" they? which I think would be more difficult to support.

An anti-Konoha alliance still exist that include two major powers. It might or might not break up but Konoha has no way of knowing due to Jiraiya's compromised spy network. Under the circumstances wouldn't it be wiser for Naruto and the new Hokage to use their powers and political capital to achieve other ends that might benefit Konoha as a whole as opposed to just helping Naruto's career?

Look at it from another side. How would it look really if I did follow through: Naruto was recognized for his accomplishments, was superficially rewarded etc. and in doing so he fractured the spirit of unity in Konoha and alienated key factions all the while the enemies of Konoha were regrouping. Aside from throwing the plot into tailspin, what does it say about Naruto as a character? That he's ultimately another childish, gloryhound super protagonist whose every good deed and sacrifice must be rewarded (by the author)? Reminds you of any well known cliches?

Btw, I do think you make a good point, which is why I wrote so much. I think it's instinctive to want good deeds to be rewarded (this isn't a dark fic after all) especially when it "seems" easy to do, but I posed those questions above to highlight some of the traps I'd run into if I did just that.

It's funny you should mention the ANBU bit though I have a feeling that the alternative - more genin Naruto who does nothing important with his equally unimportant genin friends? - would be more unsatisfying to readers. Am I wrong to assume/fear that?

 

O.O

I see the page behind in the right side of your signature, super weird. Is it on purpose?

 

You make a good point, but then an equally valid view at the moment would be 'Why bother with the gennin group at all'? If he's really so close to the top right now, then his help is going to be invaluable, he no longer has the luxury of being in two places at once. He no longer has the luxury of pretending to be that child that he, physically, is.

Once you've removed that, you've really removed any and all reason to be 'Naruto' outside of brief hour or two visits to his old friends once every couple of weeks, and once you've progressed that far you may as well change his name to 'Rakesh' and get it over with.

It'd still be a damn good story, don't get me wrong. But Yesterday I realized what's been bugging me. It's just starting to lose of the feel of a 'Naruto' fanfic and beginning to take on the feel of an OC centric fic.

Re-reading all that it feels a little harsh to me, but I just can't figure out a nicer way to say it. I'm worried naruto's alter-ego is running away with the plot.

 

Mr. Riddler, I have been introduced to Naruto thanks to you fic, and I can honestly say your fic is better than the Canon.

 

Echoing Hashasheen, your fic's what got me interested in exploring the Naruto universe in the first place.

Manatheron may have a point. I'd caution you about Naruto's alter-ego running away with the plot at this point.

 

While he is my Naruto's Shezza, the few eps on tv I saw sucked cock.

 

Must have read this fic three times, over the past year or two and still it keeps its edge.

 

That's a very good point to raise up. And you raised it at just about the perfect moment. Had you done it earlier, I would've been able to offer you nothing. Now however, I think part or even most of your concerns could be alleviated as early as next chapter (I hope) so I don't want to muck it up by speaking too much now. I'll say that I did consider that to be a big issue when I started but gradually felt confident enough to risk running offtrack (pretty much deliberately kept Naruto off screen in the last few chapters) for a bit for rapid plot advancement before switching gear.

Other than that, GoK as a gateway Naruto fanfic? That's awesome. Thanks for the compliment though this is unexpected. I omitted or twisted so many parts of canon that I didn't think non-Naruto fans would be able to follow it. That's great that you were able to though. Was canon a shocker for you then? since Naruto is, superficially, quite the opposite of my protagonist. I do hope you enjoy your stay and check out some other fine stories in the fandom.

 

For those not in the know this stories been updated.

Overall it was a nice transitional chapter that's showing Naruto as the future commander he will be.

 

Though this update took a really long time, I was not disappointed. I just read some of the reviews on this thread and was totally blind sided by the whole Tayuya/Naruto kinship speculation. I still have no idea where that came from, but tbh it seems like a very unnecessary thing to put into this story.

As for HowdyU's comment about Tayuya being a lesbian for no reason, I wasn't aware that there had to be a reason for her being homosexual since there was no indication of her sexual orientation in the canon. Besides, unless you believe that sexual orientation is a choice despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, you might as well be asking why anyone is straight and asking the author to give reasons for every character.

Anyhow, I don't really think that Naruto's alter ego Genji taking over is a big problem. I think one of the great things about fanfiction is the ability to manipulate the base idea from the canon into something better, which I think this fic certainly is. I would much rather have the main character of a story centered around assassins to be like Genji rather than the loud mouthed brawler that Naruto is in canon, because what is canon anyways? All it is, is Naruto saying something about emotions and friends, and then shouting Rasengan! at some 'villain' and miraculously wins the fight. If that fails, he goes Kyuubi on people and cries afterwards with his head down all dramatic-like. Does not sound like a great character to me.

I like the idea of a restructuring of shinobi forces that is slowly beginning to be implemented in this chapter, even though it is hard to believe that someone so young came up with the idea especially when it seems that Naruto came up with this way before as an excercise given by the Sandaime. As for Sasuke's cursed seal though, I don't think that there should be a stronger containment seal put on him. If such a thing were possible, then someone would surely have done it in canon since Jiraiya could not have been ignorant of the curse seal's existence.

So all in all a good chapter. The only thing I would like to recommend is that instances of Naruto's inexperience rear's their ugly heads more often. I like the direction this fic is going towards, but it seems too weird for a 11/12 year old to be this smart and perfect, outshining all his peers and most of his elders. Though he is smart, he is still only about 12 years old so really, he needs to get knocked down a couple pegs. Although he has gone through many things that kids in his age group have not, I don't feel like it can compare to shinobi who have been in active duty for decades longer than he has. Regardless of how much more he learns from each experience in contrast to other ninjas, there should still be a very large gap between him and say, people who have been shinobi for 20 years and have gone through almost every scenario.

Naruto/Genji can still be that smart and resourceful, but his elders should also have some sort of advantage over him. It seems too unrealistic for him to be that much better than everyone else.

 

Update was good. Ignore Howdy's comments on anything related to any Naruto fic that he didn't write.

As for this chapter the only problem I have with it is the bonding he does with his former female sensei, and the fact that Yamato's death is only briefly touched upon, you would think there would be more emotion than that.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

 

Brilliant chapter. A long wait, but worth it in my opinion. The fight was nicely handled, as were the reactions from not only the genin but also the jounin sensei's. Very cool.

 

The chapter was great, but personally, the fight felt a little bit like fan service.

 

A few items I can't talk about, like Tayuya so for better or worse we'll have to wait and see.

I like what you mentioned about "base idea," Chaoticblues. It's what I was aiming for. Like the way he brought everyone food in this chapter because he (presumably) knew how bad hospital food was. Regardless of his position, rank, intelligence, talent etc, it just felt like a-Naruto-thing-to-do in this case.

As for "Naruto being too smart for a 12-yr-old," ha, that's got to be the one issue every super protagonist story has to deal with. It's probably one of the issues I think about most often so I definitely hear you. But I really think if you would have a lot of your answers if you read Ender's Game, a lot better than whatever explanation I could pull.

Thanks for the feedback though. I'm glad that this story still generate interest after so long.

edit: The fight seems like fan service. *scratches head* Although I did expect the Yuugao scene to be called that.

 

I know you've been urged to disregard any and all of my comments, but I do have a few small things that struck me as... odd?

Firstly, I didn't really see the point of the massive exposition of the barrier.

In my mind it's simply a defense against infiltration of the village by small groups - not an implement used to direct battles (how would they communicate such real time information without something like Katsuya anyways?).

When you have hundreds upon hundreds of ninja passing the barrier I image all that those monitoring it would be able to add to the conversation is "oh, shit."

After all, in the manga the wall was first breached by a massive ritual summon - no surprise involved.

Second, I thought that the jounin acted fairly unprofessionally when faced with Genji and his test of their students. It just seemed to me that Genji acted much more mature than these men and women who in reality had much more experience in battle and in the military than Genji did.

I just don't think that Genji should have been the only "adult" there. I'm exaggerating, but that's what I do.


Lastly, and this could just be me, but I'm not really clear on what Genji is trying to change about the Konoha ninja system, exactly. I mean you've hinted that the ninja there are inefficient and can't think on their feet or the like, but I just don't see it. This is the village that just spanked Oto and Suna at the same time and has produced or been associated with much more than its fair share of exceptional ninja.

It seems like you're moving towards the sink or swim attitude of Kiri that Danzou implements - adapt and excel or die. It's harsh, barbaric, and extreme, but isn't that simply a more intense version of what Naruto is moving towards?

I don't know... the manga has stressed teamwork, friendship, and focus on individuality and unique specializations in Konoha. You seem to be moving everyone towards being jack-of-all-trades, but will that really work?

I'm probably just not clear on what it is Naruto is aiming to achieve here.

 

Ah well, that could be considered fan-service (if you don't like Yuugao), but there's been some character development there since the beginning. It's not like Yuugao and Naruto suddenly kissed out of nowhere. They didn't have sex either, it was just a kiss. Hardly fan service in my mind :9.

My point is the idea that Naruto thought he could get a productive training experience out of fighting all the rookie 9 at once.... is silly? I mean, Sasuke did exactly what Naruto should have expected! He's a hot head, like many budding children. Naruto should be promoting self-control, not showing off by fighting a lot of people with one hand tied behind his back. This is exemplified by Naruto's over-kill, not only knocking out Kiba at the start of the fight, but by ignoring Sasuke and turning Lee on his friends. This only gets adrenaline pumping, and when everyone dissolves into a frenzy, they rely on reaction.

I guess it comes from having a martial arts background -- I never progress unless I take things slowly. If I allow myself to get too heated I lose the ability to think critically and make mistakes. Naruto's fight only promotes that. He should be trying to make his 'students' calm, not rile them up. The fight rubs me the wrong way because it feels like you wanted to show us how awesome Naruto is... and it's true, he's awesome, but it feels inappropriate for Naruto to be demonstrating his skill like this because it belies a misunderstanding of how to properly teach.

I don't expect you to change anything, Riddler, just spouting my usual nonsense. But in the future, try to make Naruto mindful of how he teaches though?