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Complete Harry Potter and the Manipulator of Destiny by Wheezy1 - T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by ip82, Jan 31, 2006.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Title: Harry Potter and the Manipulator of Destiny
    Author: Wheezy1
    Rating: T
    Genre: General
    Status: WIP
    Pairings: going towards heavy HHr
    Summary: Takes place after OotP. Harry finds that Dumbledore has been less than honest or helpful with him, takes control of his own life and finds the training he needs from others. Dumbledore, Ron and Ginny are less than nice people in this AU. HHr, NL, no sla
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2771223/1/

    New independant story following Independant!Harry pattern... to an extent.

    Has some awful clishes - Angsting after Sirius, ultra honest and powerful goblins, GRIPHOOK the SUPER NICE GUY, wandless magic etc...

    But it also has several very good ideas, including better than average description of Goblin powers and culture. Dumbledore, Ron and Ginny bashing is always a nice bonus too (too bad she's a Hermione fan and she's making the Weasley head cow good).

    Heh, too few chapters to give the final mark yet, but this could turn into a nice story. Not excellent, but good nontheless.
     
  2. Evil Shnitzel

    Evil Shnitzel High Inquisitor

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    Ha!
    I knew that you will post it here when I read this earlier today.
    Has some good ideas like a painting at the will reading or charmed goft from Ron but some awful clishes like Gryphook, rich!Blacks and some really stupid ones like Bella under imperius of Dumbledore to kill Sirius.
    I will read some of it in the future just for the Ron bashing no more no less. :D
     
  3. RagefulLlama

    RagefulLlama Seventh Year

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    Was just coming to post this as well. Some parts are original (ie. I don't remember seeing any stories with loyalty spells to Ron, although I have seen one where there are spells on the Dursleys to hate Harry although I don't remember the name.) My favourite goblin interaction and although it is cliche that he is dealing with Griphook who else is there? Griphook is the only Goblin the Harry even has the slightest chance of knowing/remembering and it would be stupid for Gringotts to send someone that Harry had never met into his room and tell his life was a lie . . .
     
  4. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    its not actually too bad. Certainly there are cliches, but what fic in this kind of catagory doesn't have them. It is well written, it gets around the cliches by fitting them in well.
     
  5. Rain

    Rain Pirate Navigator of the 7 Seas

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    I thought it was actually pretty good. I've been neglecting it since I first found it the day it was posted, but I definitely regret that now. Thanks again, people, for keeping me from ignoring a good story.
     
  6. Lost_soul

    Lost_soul Guest

    It's a good start to the story; it holds a grate deal of potential. The goblin part is interesting, there are loads of stories that have Harry finding out he’s part elf (LoTR elf’s not house elf) or Harry going of to train in a house/mansion that he inherits from ether his parents or Serius. But this is the first that iv read that Harry get trained by the goblins.
     
  7. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    Sigh. This was a good start but I think I was giving the author too much credit. We took a sharp turn to been-done-before land in this latest chapter (5).

    And if it weren't for the H/Hr on the horizon I'd be scared this is going to be Harry/Griphook.

    My mind is incapable of comprehending the emotion so many fanfic Harrys seem to have. The shopping, the credit card (which in the authors note at top he thought he had made up until he spotted it in two others... just two?), the typically clever and observant but overlooked Weasley twins. Ron and Ginny being paid off, and even better, Gin's a closet whore.

    I like the idea of in 1218 a goblin played both sides to his own gain and the goblins took care of him. Now it's Dumbledore playing both sides and it'll be up to Harry to take care of him.

    But otherwise, this chapter may have signaled the start of my disinterest. I've read this same sort of story before, and even then I think it was written by more skilled authors. I don't want rip into the guy, but I get the feeling we're just going to have some painful H/Hr romance and for the most part a typical manipulative!Dumbledore story.

    Still I give points on a decently interesting way to include goblins.
     
  8. Gullible

    Gullible Headmaster

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    Its interesting although the author mixes up occulemency and legilimency a lot. Other than that there are very few mistakes. :D
     
  9. I've recently become her beta reader on ff.net and any spelling errors will be dealt with. I give you readers my word.
     
  10. Gullible

    Gullible Headmaster

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    Thanks, cause other than the few minor mistakes the story is really good.
     
  11. Spacks

    Spacks Order Member DLP Supporter

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    heh like the interspecies father/son relationship.
     
  12. Lord Dragon

    Lord Dragon DA Member

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    this story is getting better
     
  13. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    For me, it's only good if I fast-forward through all the gayness this shit is infested with.

    It seems the author is determined to insert at least one totally ridiculously gay scene per chapter and she sticking to it. Be it Harry crying over some random thing or groping his house elves or developing the soul-mates bond with the beaver in a month or acting like a goody-two-shoes pansy by apologizing to the Dursleys for taking their cupboard space for 15 years and repaying them for all their patience...

    But still, three things are still keeping this story above water in my book:

    1) Manipulative Dumbledore... to the highest extent. But still not an idiot who's broadcasting his plans or yelling at people.

    2) Powerful Harry... yes I know there will be no killing here (at least not without solid amount of guilt-tears and soul-mate therapy), but still there is yet chance for some cool encounters to happen.

    3) Fast updates.
     
  14. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    He... gropes... his house-elves?
     
  15. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Hugs them, pats them, get hugged in return, get consoled... you get the drift.
     
  16. Israfel

    Israfel First Year

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    In an Azkaban parody fic I read on Rorschach's Blot's yahoo group Harry and his female house elf pretend to be in a sadomasochistic realtionship with the elf as the dom to mess with people. Now that's the weirdest house elf realtions that I've ever seen. If you can top that then I'm really scared for the mental stability of whoever wrote it.
     
  17. Rain

    Rain Pirate Navigator of the 7 Seas

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    Well, he sees Winky as a mother type figure... (he kissed her on her "wrinkly forehead" too) *snorts* Groping houselves. *snicker*

    A few parts are definitely gag-worthy, but I still like it. It might just be that my current good-fanfic-starvation is unconsciously adding "spice" where there is none. *shrugs* It's not too bad of a story from my point of view.
     
  18. fatal

    fatal Backtraced

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    I quite like it. Especially the Weasely bashing! Ron is the biggest prick I wish someone would just blow his head off.
     
  19. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    There's a lot of touchy-feely/angsty-romantic bullshit in the story, but the plot itself is sound. It is a true Independant!Harry story, and despite the goblins, house-elves and Herman, Harry seems to be going about things by himself.

    That said, though, he is taking it up the ass from everyone. While he's disposed of Ron and Ginny, Hermione, Luna and Neville seem to be guiding him through the last few chapters. The last update was acceptable...barely. The emotions and relationship Harry seems to share with the 'abused house-elves' are more than just a little irritating.

    Harry seems uber-powerful, so i don't get why he hasn't taken care of a single Death Eater yet. All Super!Harry stories make this mistake...they blow away about 20 chapters doing jack shit, and in the end just kill Voldemort and turn all the Death Eaters into squibs through the mark.

    The goblin training was a good idea, but this isn't the first fic where Harry learns the magic of different species. If i'm not mistaken, in Dakaath: PoD, he gets some training from the Goblins, and tons of stories have him elarning from elves and shit.

    The story is good, and my review to her said so, but i've begun to rethink things. The utter lack of action is getting to me. Also, the fact that they're able to thwart Dumbeldore so 'craftily' makes me wanna puke. It seems to require no effort at all...he just hooks up what basically amounts to a TV that shows him Dumby's office, and then proceeds to throw a monkey wrench in all the plans.

    The only positive thing i can say right now is that she updates extremely frequently...like once every 2-3 days.

    Oh yeah...she's a 32 year old woman...soccer mom, i'd guess. That's why Harry/Herm hasn't taken a single step yet. For chrissakes, they got engaged before they even kissed. WTF?
     
  20. daterza

    daterza First Year

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    well I`ve tried three times to read this fic, and the third time I made it.

    it started out fine, but in the later chapters it`s got harry doing some ridiculous things,(finding a mother figure in a house elf that not long before was getting drunk almost everday! Wierd)

    Can`t wait to see what happens next! (maybe harry will choose some Huffelpuff second year and a father figure) :cry:
     
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