1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete Hearts on Detours by Stanrick - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Verovir, Apr 30, 2017.

  1. Verovir

    Verovir Disappeared

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2017
    Messages:
    37
    High Score:
    0
    Title: Hearts on Detours
    Author: Stanrick
    Rating: Fiction T
    Genre: Romance/Humor
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Harry/Hermione
    Summary: Dark times lie ahead, they said. Soon we will have to decide between what is easy and what is right, they said. Yeah, well. Nobody told him they were actually talking about that Yule Ball nightmare that now lies inescapably ahead with no clear answers in sight. How will he ever get out of this mess, and is there any way that doesn't involve dancing? (There isn't.)
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12064715/1/Hearts-on-Detours

    It's surprisingly well written, for ffn.net standard. Author quite successfully (imo) emulates Shakespeare, so result takes some getting used to. The story is quite wordy, author often uses descriptions in a flowery prose type of writing. Despite that, the story feels refreshing in its original writing style. It isn't drowning in descriptions.

    As for the plot, it's romance, so don't expect any elaborate plots and action. Another thing I don't like about it is that it contains so little magic. It's character focused romance though, so what can I expect? It's a story about Yule ball and events shortly before it, so its 74k words can keep some readers away. As I mentioned, it can feel a little wordy at times.

    At some points, it seems to me that author sacrificed characters credibility for prose, so some characters seemed just a little OOC at times. Fortunately, it's just shorter remarks that I feel are used to make this story feel Shakespearesque, but I remove 1 point from final rating for that and other small issues (awkward phrasing in several places).

    If you like romances, just give it a try. It might surprise you. 4/5.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2017
  2. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Messages:
    6,141
    Gender:
    Male
    Anyone read this and willing to review?
     
  3. Jarizok

    Jarizok Auror DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    630
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Deventer
    This fic is a writing exercise first and a story second, so 'wordy' is a bit of an understatement.

    That said, the dialogue is actually pretty funny in places. I haven't finished it yet, but I haven't stopped wanting to, so that's something.

    ---------- Post automerged at 23:54 ---------- Previous post was at 19:38 ----------

    Finished it.

    It's actually pretty great. Full on, teeth rottingly fluffy, but great. Ron is the real hero of this story.

    Beyond that there's not much to say really. Characters are maybe too likeable? Everyone's heart is in the right place all the time and we get bonding from everyone with everyone, but that's part of the charm of the story as well.

    Fluff, but good fluff. 4/5 is probably about right.

    Edit: can confirm, I was surprised.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2017
  4. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    838
    The only thing I remember about this fic is that its prose was super awkward and made me give up somewhere in the second chapter.
     
  5. ididntdoit

    ididntdoit Squib

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13
    This author will never use 2 words when s/he can use 4 to say the same thing. I don't want to say it's overly discriptive, because that's not quite the problem. The problem has more to do with word choice.

    One of the best examples is whe the author uses magical mice as surragotes to decribe characters who aren't that different from canon. Hermione's is "curiously exploring the endless expanse of Hermione's extremities and in so far fearlessly uncompromising in its thirst for discovery". Do that once or twice, and it can be ok, but the first 4 chapters are like that.

    It's incredibly difficult to get to what is actually happening because the way things are presented actively impede the reader. I could see some enjoying this for the two or three funny moments per chapter, but it has few other redeming qualities. 2/5
     
  6. Longinus

    Longinus Second Year

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    64
    Location:
    Argentina
    I found myself skipping some descriptions/paragraphs, but altogether I enjoyed the story and the dialogue in particular. If I had read it in its entirety I suspect my overall opinion would be worse.

    Could be a couple chapters shorter and be better for it.

    3/5.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. JCCS
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    5,753