It was so lame though.

The guy could barely hold him still in the fight where Hidan killed Asuma, and then suddenly could force Hidan to run with him through a forest on top of everything else?

One of the best "plot no jutsu" fights in the manga, right behind Sasuke's Houdini escape from Deidara.

Everybody fucking loves Shikamaru, but I can't figure out why.

I'm going to be portraying him more positively in my other story, but in this one a guy like Naruto can only have contempt for a lazy ninja that he considers fodder.

To Naruto, the guy is asking someone to kill him.

 

Oh, I'll be the last person to defend Shikamaru. I can't stand him, and that battle was to me the lowest of many, many low points in the Naruto II manga.

 

Chapter 12 is now up.

 

I know that soon there will be lots of post telling that this chapters sucks and it was not good enough...

Fuck it all. I liked it!

Naruto/Neji was done rather good for my taste - not an instant win in one strike and not "nerfing" Naruto's skills to zero. The dialogue was also very good.

The only thing left to say - is keep up the good work!

 

I've resigned myself to the fact that people will be unhappy until I finish this arc.

It's okay, we'll get there eventually.

 

Awesome. While I liked it overall, I thought the fight scene and the revealment of Naruto's identity was a bit too melodramatic. In addition the line about how he was glad to come to Konoha because he was tired of just doing missions seemed a bit random and awkward. The chakra flex was an interesting concept though not completely original. The Orochimaru scene and the Gaara confrontation was fairly well done. I wouldn't say this is one of your better chapters in my opinion, but still pretty good. I love your fast update rates and hope to see another chapter sometime soon.

 

Well that was the point so...

...I succeeded?

 

“Well? What do you think of me now, Hyuuga? Am I what you expected?” Naruto’s lips twisted into a feral grin, showing off his long fangs to the world. “My name, fool, is Namikaze Naruto. My father was the leader of this village once and the strongest ninja in the world. He sealed the power of the mightiest bijuu – the Nine-Tailed Fox – into me on the day I was born.” Naruto crouched low, his arms spread wide and his clawed fingers splayed out cruelly. “So you see, Hyuuga Neji… I am the strongest weapon in Konoha, not your paltry bloodline limit.”

Absolutely loved it.

It seemed to be a much better introduction to the world of Naruto's identity than the first part of Chapter 11, which I'm still unsatisfied with. It was nice, public, and totally fucked Konoha over mentally.

No real weak points, although I have to ask, why does Chiyo have a bounty on Tsunade's head for 50 ryu? Is the old bitch thumbing her nose at Tsunade on who the better medic ninja is? What's the story with that?

Also, seeing as Naruto will be going head to head with Ichibi next, and there already is an antagonistic relationship between Naruto and Gaara, that fight will probably be bloody.

How to you plan to display Konoha's and the wider world's new reaction to Namikaze Naruto? In many fanfics, it's thought that Iwa would go batshit insane and send a legion of assassins to kill the Yellow Flash's son. That's usually used as the justification for hiding Naruto's heritage from him.

What do you plan to do about this? Naruto can no longer be Akatsuki's shadow operator. Is he the public face, hiding Pain's true activities, as an organization that hunts jinchuurikis would never have one working for them?

I never got that idea of 'jinchuurikis have to be loyal to one another because they hold demons' anyway...

What say you, Howdy? Please be descriptive.

 

egh, didn't like the fight scene. Made Neji seem like a retard. I'm pretty sure he might have guessed he was outclassed.

 

The world's reaction...

Let's just say that I'll do something with that in the next chapter. People aren't going to sit on this for long.

As far as Akatsuki goes... I have mixed feelings on the subject.

We all know that most members of Akatsuki are prominent missing ninja, yet this doesn't prevent them from completing their assignments covertly at all.

Like Kakuzu says to Hidan and Naruto finds out when searching for Sasuke, find a single ninja in the Naruto world requires a literal combing of the countryside.

Despite their infamy, Konoha doesn't even know who Kakuzu or Hidan are when they first arrive on the scene.

So while Naruto's existence and history (trained by Hanzou) will be well known to the world, I don't think that that fact will preclude him from performing covert assignments for the organization or open him up to attack everywhere he goes.

People are going to be wary of him, and unless he draws attention to himself he should be difficult to track down.

Also, the other nations have to decide what level of threat Naruto poses. He's not a loyal Konoha ninja - he's a subordinate of Hanzou so far as they know. Hanzou is scary enough as it is in their minds, but he's also fairly sensible and doesn't stir up trouble for the hell of it.

I don't see myself having Iwa send an army after Naruto's head any time soon. He hasn't lifted a finger against them and doesn't even appear to hold a grudge.

If you've read my one-shot you'll know that Hanzou has a fairly good relation with Iwa, and this sort of thing should play a part in the level of response used against Naruto.

After all, he's only a powerful jinchuuriki and the relative of a Kage, and though that might paint him as a target, we don't really see many political assissinations in the Naruto world.

All we have as reference is the attempted Hyuuga kidnapping, and that ended rather poorly for Kumo in that they lost one of their strongest jounin.


As a jinchuuriki, Naruto doesn't believe in that comeradery shit at all. He feels that he dealt with his burden appropriately and doesn't hold much sympathy for those who fail in that regard (read Gaara).

Can those shared experiences as jinchuuriki foster an understanding between them? Sure. Just as any two peole with similar backgrounds can find common ground.

But Naruto isn't magically drawn to other jinchuuriki just because they have had bijuu sealed within them.



As far as the fight between Neji and Naruto went, the way I envisioned it even before I started writing this story was Naruto turning the situation from canon on its ear.

Instead of listening to Neji's lecture and sob story, my Naruto was going to steal the show by giving his own piece of advise and generally making Neji look like an angry idiot - which he was.

Naruto pushing him until it lead up to his grand unveiling was also planned. Neji got to eat his words. The fight was meant to drag on a bit so that it would be made more memorable in the minds of the spectators.

I'm sure some of you have guessed it already, but Naruto is far more powerful than he actually showed off in this fight.

And I suppose I can see now why some may have been disappointed with Naruto's reveal in chapter 11, but this scene was planned all along and from my perspective wasn't detracted from by Naruto interacting with the Hokage and Jiraiya.

From a reader's standpoint though, I can certainly understand why you could be sitting there thinking "that's it?" when you read 11.


The bounty thing was just a dig at Tsunade from Chiyo. The two used to be old war rivals, remember? So she put a laughably low bounty out on her old adversary thinking that if Tsunade ever checked it she'd be pissed at the slight against her.

That's all there is to that.

 

Howdy, one new thing...

What's with the way sai was talking towards the end of the chapter?

I liked it, it's just where is this sarcasm from Sai coming from?

He is right, though. Sasuke is a prima donna princess.

 

It's an extrapolation from his characterization in the manga.

At this point in HotH, he's been on a team with Sakura and Sasuke for between six months and a year, and has lost some of his social ineptitude.

That just makes him more of a bastard though, because he loves to get under people's skin.

As far as to why he suddenly starts talking when he'd been fairly silent and robotic up until this point - it has to do with his ANBU training.

I figure that in an actual fight - expecially one in front of the Hokage and other spectators - he's going to be a professional about it.

Here he's just talking to Sasuke while Gaara is distracted by his art, and he's being his "normal" snarky self.


Did anyone read the Hanzou one-shot?

I'm interested to know what people think, as it ties in with the made up history I have for this story.

 

Good chapter this. I enjoyed the ' grand unveiling', melodramatic as you seem to have aimed for.

I did want to ask about Naruto's interaction with Orochimaru. Was there a hidden meaning there? It looked like it could be a part of Pain's plot - Orochimaru likely knew of Pain's plans for Ame/Hanzou, but seeing what looked to be Hanzou's apprentice (who, it turned out was actually Konoha's lost jinchuriki and the son of the Yondaime) flaunting his prized techniques would convince him that all was well in Ame, that Pain had made no move yet.

But somehow I felt that part of the story and the above argument to be a bit weak. Was there any other motive for Naruto meeting Orochimaru? Or am I reading the whole thing wrong?

 

The only four members of Akatsuki that have seen Pain's face, know his name, or even know his location, are Pain himself, Konan, Zetsu, and Madara.

Everyone else is just fodder that works for a man they've never met in person. It's why they call Pain "Leader" instead of using his real made up name.

The interaction with Orochimaru was just what it seemed to be - a goodbye to Hiruzen and some trash talk with the snake. Naruto also wanted to see the man who betrayed Akatsuki.

 

I read the Hanzou one-shot - fucking confusing, until I realized it was Hanzou. Now, though, all I can remember is him poisoning everyone. That's what sticks out most in my mind. Pure ruthless.

 

“Greetings, young Sarutobi. It has been long since we last met.” The head turned slightly and its beady eyes focused. The grin grew even wider. “And congratulations to you, young fighter, on finally achieving the title of ‘Fourth.’”

I just realized this from Chapter 12, Howdy.

Does Ajisuke know that Orochimaru is pretending to be the Kazekage? Is the salamander chapping Orochimaru's ass because he failed to be the Fourth Hokage and has to pretend to be the Yondaime Kazekage?

 

Short answer?

Yes.

 

And that's probably my favorite line in fanfiction right now.

He's thumbing his nose at Orochimaru for only now holding the title of fourth, and he did it by killing the Kazekage. And Aji knows that he won't hold it for the rest of his life, he's only holding it for at the lastest until the exam finals are done.

Orochimaru has an ego the size of the EC and pointing out to him that he'd only be able to hold something he'd wanted bad enough that he threw a hissy fit over and defected from his home over for only the rest of the day would get him in a tizzy.

Liked the chapter overall, and while the first few chapters of this arc were tedious, they have picked up as you moved away from canon rehash and into original stuff.

Here's to waiting until after the Sasuke retrieval arc and being able to see Yugito again. I'm definately looking forward to seeing what you do with her character, especially after Naruto's interaction probably set her on a different mindset than canon.

Keep up the good work.

 

quick question
will naruto return to pein?

 

Offtop: Guys... Do you really enjoy when the author answer this kind of questions and post spoilers?
Just wait a bit and you will see.
This thread is killing any suspense whatsoever.