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WIP If I Die Young by Annie Lockwood - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Stan, Apr 25, 2016.

  1. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    838
    Title: If I Die Young
    Author: Annie Lockwood
    Rating: M
    Genre: Romance/Drama
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Lily/James
    Chapters: 13
    Words: 86,333
    Published: Jan 9, 2016
    Updated: March 29, 2016
    Status: WiP
    Summary: They were two very different people from very different worlds, but somehow they fit together so perfectly it was almost as if they'd been created for each other. But love doesn't always map out the way you plan it to.
    link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11722553/1/If-I-Die-Young

    This is James/Lily romance fic that starts at Hogwarts in their fifth year and continues beyond school, following Lily's PoV throughout.

    There are a lot of things I like about this story which separate it from the standard Marauder era stuff. The writing is smooth and has a flow to it I don't see that often in fanfiction. The pacing is quick; the story has already gone through three Hogwarts years and the start of Lily's adult life. Teenagers act like teenagers instead of angsting all day over their One True Love. The story doesn't always focus on James and Lily, but on Lily's friendships and rivalries with a bunch of OC and quasi-OC characters: Frank Longbottom, Dorcas Meadows, Mary, Alice, Marlene. The romance reads less like a rom-com and more like an actual romance.

    The thing I enjoy the most is the part about Lily's home life. She comes from a dysfunctional family, with a wayward sister and parents on the verge of a divorce. Seeing her actively involved in that mess and making decisions that aren't always the most moral thing in the world adds a degree of humanity to her that I thought the canon version lacked.

    The story is mostly about Lily's friendships and romances. Voldemort is still walking and talking and killing and there is a lot of war talk, but the story is more about how Lily and her friends are affected by the war than it is about killing Voldemort. At least for now.

    Easily one of the better stories I've read from this era. 4/5.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2016
  2. crimson sun06

    crimson sun06 Order Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2013
    Messages:
    820
    You might wanna post the link. That's the protocol isn't it?
     
  3. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    838
    Ouch. Added.
     
  4. Myrrdin Emrys

    Myrrdin Emrys Disappeared

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2015
    Messages:
    295
    Location:
    Somewhere in Asia.
    High Score:
    0
    It was okay I guess. I don't know why but for the love of me I couldn't get past the 2nd chapter, I just found it too... dull I guess. The writing style was a bit bland for my taste though. Although it may just be that I don't usually like alot of OC's in a story. 1/5 and only because I don't want to go into decimals.

    EDIT: Look one post down to Deepdiver's post. Explains what I'm feeling right now...
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2016
  5. Starscion

    Starscion First Year

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2015
    Messages:
    25
    It's good to start, but quickly establishes a constant theme: Unrelenting Relationship Drama. Could've been 4/5, but theme repetition brings it down to a 2.5.
     
  6. TallDarkStranger

    TallDarkStranger Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2015
    Messages:
    131
    Location:
    Neverland
    High Score:
    0
    Fuck, uses the word misogynistic in the first chapter. Insta -1 from me.

    Update:
    Chapter 9 now. Prose is alright, no real grammar. But...
    You cannot say the POWER went out at Hogwarts. An error THAT glaring just kills the immersion, especially with 'emergency candles'? What the fuck? I've also barely seen any actual spellcasting.

    That just exposes this for the self-insert twilight fic it is. I've read plenty of these with Teddy and Victoire too. Self insert romance fics where the only thing in common with Harry Potter's world are the names and Hogwarts.

    Too much relationship angst, but well written. Will not cross 1. Period.

    ---------- Post automerged at 01:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 AM ----------

    Are you fucking kidding me? No matter who you're with, THEY keep coming back and setting your head awhirl and other girly phrases.
    C'mon, this has ONE TRUE LOVE written all over it. JL OTP should be the name of the story.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2016