1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice

  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice
DLP Story Competition Guest User Registration Nag SPS + NTT

Dead Link into the arena with your head held high by LullabyKnell - T

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Snapdragon, Feb 10, 2016.

Not open for further replies.
2.5/5, 6 votes
  1. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    Feb 10, 2016 #1
    Title: into the arena with your head held high
    Author: LullabyKnell
    Rating: T
    Genre: Drama / Suspense
    Status: Ongoing
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings: None
    Characters: Harry P., Teddy L.
    Summary: Canon-compliant up to the middle of DH; more than 10 years later in a post-magical-apocalypse Britain, Harry Potter and Voldemort face off in a final duel meant to end the fight once and for all. But that's not the end of it, it's only the beginning... again. Time Travel fic. 43k w/o AN.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11744860/1/into-the-arena-with-your-head-held-high

    I haven't seen such a roller coaster tension filled 40k story beginning for a long time, if not ever. Great visual action sequences. Highly entertaining and I loved every minute. With a worse execution you might have problems to suspend your disbelief at some spots but that feeling never creeped up on me.

    The viewpoint changes between a 11 year old Teddy and a 28 year old Harry a few times with Teddy having more screen time for now due "circumstances".

    5/5 at the moment. As you can see I'm quite enthusiastic.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  2. Hymnsicality

    Hymnsicality Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2014
    Messages:
    265
    Location:
    On the wild plains of Africa
    Feb 10, 2016 #2
    Can i just clarify whether the pairing is indeed Harry Potter/Teddy Lupin? Just wondering whether I should get my freak on before diving into this fic.
     
  3. Madmetal360

    Madmetal360 Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2014
    Messages:
    19
    Location:
    The Dungeon Dimensions
    Feb 11, 2016 #3
    Couldn't get past Stupefy Maxima.What's the spell ment to do that's different to the standard Stupefy they both knock the guy out, what's the point except to try and seem cooler.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  4. Blandge

    Blandge Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2014
    Messages:
    51
    Feb 11, 2016 #4
    I think this is an important point. Is or is not Harry engaging an 11 year old boy in romantic relations.
     
  5. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    Feb 11, 2016 #5
    They are the main characters so I used "," but apparently that was the wrong approach. I switched to "none" but from some dropped names I would assume the writer used canon pairings.
     
  6. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    1918
    Feb 11, 2016 #6
    I'm sceptical of a fic that can't even capitalise the title.
     
    IBG, Ched
  7. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Feb 11, 2016 #7
    The title is a red flag because they didn't bother to capitalize it, I agree. But since there's two votes on this thread, and the OP rated it 5/5, that makes me think one of you guys rated it 1/5.

    From the comments above it doesn't look like any of you actually read the damn thing, and if you did you didn't post about the rating or any details.

    FFS, I know it's not required that you post a review if you're leaving a 1/5, but if you're going to post anyway them put some damned effort into it.

    ...I was going to read it, but I need to stop procrastinating about other things. Maybe later. I'm not going to rate it after just glancing at it though, see how that works?
     
  8. Pajasaurus

    Pajasaurus Muggle

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    High Score:
    0
    Feb 11, 2016 #8
    I am enjoying this story very much. I like Teddy's characterisation, how childish and whiny he is, yet it doesn't go overboard. His fascination with the Rules is entertaining, and the ways his viewpoint are different because of his childhood in a post-apocalyptic Britain is done well, for example,
    his thoughts on the sirens and flashing lights of the police car.


    However I find it has a few problems. Teddy seems to be overpowered,
    example, his ability to do wandless magic in the pre-apocalyptic world, his bull's eye accuracy and dodging in the Auror chase, and how he took out the first Death Eater,
    and I cannot not be worried about what this means for Harry. How powerful will he be?


    I also found that Teddy
    lost the police car a bit too easily. He swerved off the road and the policemen did not notice? Also, there seemed to be no ditch/fence between the road and the field.
    But I feel this last one might be me nitpicking.



    Overall, I enjoyed this story so far (up to and including chapter 4), and am excited as to where it will go. New, good time travel fics are hard to find. A rating of 4/5 from me.
     
  9. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    8,379
    Location:
    The South
    Feb 11, 2016 #9
    Checked this out. Starts with a massive author's note, then goes straight into what I considered boring prose. Description of a room and a desk, and I immediately found myself skimming.

    Granted I did like Teddy's entrance, even if he seems... let's go with overpowered. He's also irritating, but since he's apparently about ten years old that might come with the territory.

    I started skimming again, not because I intended to, but because if my eyes can't find anything interesting to latch onto I'm not going to force them. This isn't a class at Uni where I've been forced to read something for a purpose.

    Again, once Harry is introduced, I find myself interested. Same as when Teddy was introduced.

    I think I see where this is going, and I love the concept. Hell, it's a little bit similar to one of my first original novel ideas, and something I haven't seen in HP fanfic before.

    Harry is a badass, and Teddy is his little badass apprentice. At least I think that's where this is going, and I like the idea of following the two of them as they cut a swathe through Death Eaters in a post-series war-torn Britain that's been cut off from the rest of the world.

    I like it a lot. The idea, that is. The writing leaves a lot to be desired.

    The first chapter includes such potential awesomeness as a BAMF Teddy at ten years old, who is OP for a child but still nothing compared to the likes of Harry or Voldemort. Harry motherfucking Potter, as an adult, versus Lord Voldemort in an epic duel. A post war Britain that has been sealed off from the outside world, run rampant with ancient magics and Death Eaters, with the implication being that it's rogue elements like Harry and Teddy that are scrabbling for purchase to make things better.

    And yet Chapter 1 was really, really boring except for the few sentences where the above concepts came through.

    And I admit - I might be wrong about some of that. I was skimming through the parts that were just words with no substance or interest to them, so it's quite possible I missed some details.

    But I skipped ahead and read some of the later chapters, and it looks like it improves somewhat. It appears to have an original plotline and concept going for it.

    So I don't know what to say here. Maybe a two out of five for the parts that I read? Which includes most of chapter 1 and bits and pieces from later chapters. Hell if I know. I assumed that the twenty minutes I had would be plenty of time to rate this story, since usually good versus bad stories are easy to tell apart, but this one is tricky.

    2.5/5 - I'll round it down (probably) or up (unlikely) later.
     
  10. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    290
    Feb 11, 2016 #10
    I truly don't get the skimming here. This story creates real tension if you allow yourself to immerse. All the descriptions about the environment when the Ministry sort of collapses creates a film in my mind. It just flows.

    I can suspend my disbelief about Teddy's skill with how he grew up which is only hinted at, the abilities of his parents and the magical changes to the environment. So the writer gives a reasoning. It's obviously up to the reader to buy that:)

    Is "A Black Comedy" arguably the best HP fanfic story ever because it was ultra realistic or because it was such an entertaining smart romp?
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2016
  11. Starscion

    Starscion First Year

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2015
    Messages:
    25
    Feb 11, 2016 #11
    Read the first Chapter and it's not entirely hopeless, but it feels contrived. The sealing which apparently causes people to use almost exclusively wandless magic (due to blowing out their wands) is a terrible plot piece since it has no real rhythm or reason behind it. Teddy has no good reason to be in the final confrontation other than that the author wants their main characters to be in the same place. 2/5 and would need major restructuring to be good.
     
  12. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    Feb 11, 2016 #12
    Dead Link.

    Apparently the story has been deleted within the last two hours or so. And the author changed his or her name one hour ago and doesn't have any stories online any longer.

    Thread locked and moved to the trash bin.
     
Not open for further replies.