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Let's Write a Fic Together

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by lucis, Oct 24, 2009.

  1. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Aekiel, it's all you. Happy to take the turn after you. Have fun!
     
  2. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Due to unforeseen circumstances I have ended up temporarily homeless, and probably won't be able to access my computer for a while, so I'll have to skip again. It's just one thing after another >_>.
     
  3. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Lol. Then I guess I'll go after all. It'll be a while though. Finals coming up and all.
     
  4. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    Aekiel: I'm really sorry to hear about the homeless part. Best of luck!

    Vesvius: I have some free time. I could take a shot at it if your going to be busy for a while...
     
  5. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Go nuts. I've got five papers to write.
     
  6. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    As soon as I accepted this, my life suddenly got hectic. I should be able to get a chapter out in the next couple of days, but if someone else (in particular, Vesvius) wants it...

    I've written a small section, but I can't write Nicodemus in a satisfactory way.

    BTW, did you know that Nicodemus is a saint of the Chatholic Church? I'm wondering why Butcher chose that name... Irony?
     
  7. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    ......Sure that's why.

    Think about it, you tool.
     
  8. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    I realise that your implying that he is the same individual the Catholic Chruch holds to be a saint... but why choose someone who is considered a saint? And does that mean he's considered a saint in the Dresden universe?
     
  9. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure no one considers him a Saint anymore. :p

    He's been around a really, really long time. Atleast since Jesus was still rocking the world, I think, especially if you want to assume Butcher means him to be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicodemus This guy.

     
  10. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    Just posted. Sorry for taking so long. I caught a nasty cold and was sick for several days.

    I hope I didn't kill Nicodemus too easily.

    Vesvius, Aekiel?
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  11. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    .....You suck balls.
     
  12. Garlak

    Garlak Fifth Year

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    Much as I like to see Nicodemus d-e-a-d, dead, I think this was, if not too easy, then too sudden. The whole situation seemed a bit too rushed.

    Oh, and finally.. what about Nicodemus's Fallen??? Surely it would've done something...
     
  13. Hello

    Hello Professor

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    Jon was mean but he has a point...it was extremely rushed. Nic should have pulled hellfire out and more then likely a bunch of traps that have more iron then even a Queen could stand. He also should have had his tongueless disciples doing more for him and he would have never attacked Harry without his daughter there with her crazy metal hair thing on stand-by. If Harry managed to kill Nic it should have been more "Harry was bleeding everywhere and the iron was pouring out of him while Michel was repeatedly stabbing Nic with the light of heaven binding his fallen" then what you had. Not that it was bad...it just was not quite fitting.
     
  14. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    My thought process was:
    - Nicodemus will act.
    - Why kill Harry when he can try and get the Summer Lady on his side?
    - Harry wouldn't talk without pressure. Logical answer is to use a child.
    And I had a few one-liners I wanted to use.

    So, I ended up with the situation in the middle of the chapter. The I tried to resolve it, as best as I could (clearly not that well).

    If people are willing to make more specific criticisms than that I did poor job, I'm happy to rewrite it. Hello's feedback has given me some ideas and I'll try to use them... when I don't feel like I'll fall asleep any second.

    If people think it is an unworkable piece of fail, I'm happy to withdraw it and let someone else write this scene.

    Hello: The Toungless Guards were held up by Michael. You're completely right about the rest (though in my defence, he was caught completely off guard), and it would be reasonable to expect some to get by...
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2010
  15. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Most of the way the chapter felt rushed. Nicodemus was killed far to easily. You offed him like it was nothing. Hellfire should have been combating Summerfire and either nullifying it or stalling it long enough for Nicodemus to put up a serious fight.

    Dresden should have been bleeding from nearly every pore in his body and set most of the local area alight in the process of bringing him down.

    For the most part, the power tier seems to hold Nico toward the upper-crust. He's got age, experience, power, and has bested more than his fair share of Knights of the Cross in the two thousand some years he's been walking around.

    Even getting the noose off of Nico was too easily done. Once Dresden was set on killing Nicodemus, the fallen should have reciprocated in kind. I was expecting him to get away if nothing else to haunt Dresden another chapter.
     
  16. Garlak

    Garlak Fifth Year

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    Ehh... would it be too, er, cliche to cop out with a "that was really just a double of Nic"? One that only had enough defenses to ignore one or two spells and then run rather then fight back.

    But yeah, I agree... Michael being there explains the lack of mooks and further Denarian backup, but at the least Nick would have his daughter around---it's characteristic of him.

    Maybe Harry goes to pick up and comfort the child, only to get shanked by the kid's hair--woops, it's Deirdre! And now Nick comes on a speaker or something and cheerfully and opportunistically asks the knight to exchange his sword for Dresden... That seems more like the kind of thing that'd happen with the way Harry's luck runs: i.e. guaranteed to turn any small disaster into catastrophe. Wonder if he's related to Rincewind...

    Dunno if the deception should be totally out of left field or if the knight and/or Harry/Bob get a second's warning only to get seriously suckerpunched by Deirdre (rather than outright KO'd/trapped).

    And then... I dunno. Have Harry turn the tables on the capture with some fine-tuned lightning/magnetism, with Bob's help, to give Deirdre a shock without having the hair just go out of control and fillet Dresden? Or go with what he knows, what works, and freeze Deirdre's hair, with a gratuitous point-blank, classic Fuego that lowers property values, shocks insurance agencies with joy/despair, and cleans windows... great at parties and shutting up annoying, party-loving neighbors at oh-my-god-AM.



    ... er, sorry, I just started babbling.
     
  17. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    Where is this story supposed to end at? Did we ever say or is it when whoever slaps on a Fin at the end of their post?
     
  18. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    Garlak: Thanks for the advice. I'm going to use it.

    Water Mage: Hm... If someone writes a conclusion and it's reasonable then we end there. If people are bored/think the present project is dead, we can move on to a new one, but I think that people should be asked for their opinion in this case... And the next person in the queue writes the new premise.
     
  19. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, first off I'm going to accept any shit I get for bumping this after coming-up-on two months without posts.

    It's a good project. A lot of great material put forth. But if I can be so intruding as to ask, whoever is set up to write the next scene, have you accomplished much in that area or... what?

    Not enough quality around to enjoy. I don't want to settle on another sub-standard list of Dresden to get my fix :(
     
  20. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Eh, valid enough question. I've no idea whose turn it was, but it looks unlikely they're working on it. Feel free to add to it though. :v
     
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