1. Another story competition is beginning! (Q1 2018)

    "You're bleeding on my floor."

    We've moved to a quarterly format, so you really have no excuse not to participate this time.

    So check out the new thread discussing scoring, rules, and other such matters in the in the Story Competitions forum and get cracking.

    Dismiss Notice

Abandoned Little Worm by esama - T

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by The Mysterious Nobody, Sep 26, 2009.

  1. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    615
    Title: Little Worm
    Author: esama
    Rating: T (PG-13)
    Genre: Drama/Supernatural
    DLP Category: Dark Arts
    Pairing: no pairing
    Chapters: 2
    Words: 17,520
    Updated: September 23, 2009
    Published: September 14, 2009

    Status: Abandoned ?!? (not labeled as complete)
    Summary: Few themed insights to the undead life of the forever young Harry Potter. Companion/continuation to my other Harry Potter Hellsing crossover, Vermin Control, will make more sense if you've read that one. Darkish.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5377232/1/Little_Worm
    Link: Link (zip archive of Esama's works): https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92776639/Esama.ZIP

    This one is a bit of an odd choice for me to post here, but I enjoyed it enough to try and get it in the library. It's a Hellsing/Harry Potter crossover, without the usual faggotry that goes with them, and it's fairly well written and original, both in plot and portrayal of the characters, specially Harry's demeanor around Dumbledore and Vice-versa.

    As the summary says, this is a companion fic to Vermin Control, so I'd recommend you read it first. It's certainly not as good or enjoyable and it's more focused on Hellsing than HP, but it's short at the moment, and it will fill you in in some of the plot points of "Little Worm".


    Checked by Minion, July 28, 2013
    Bulwersator provided a link to an archive with Esama's works.
    If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2013
  2. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2006
    Messages:
    557
    Location:
    Lithuania
    Heh, certainly the most unique Dumbledore/Harry relationship so far. I enjoyed this fic greatly. 5/5
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2009
  3. Clerith

    Clerith Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    1,580
    Location:
    Finland
    Hm, I've read them both. They were quite enjoyable. Forever child!Harry in body? Fufufu~~

    And yeah, Dumbledore is pretty sweetly portayed here. I don't like the 'master' stuff, though.

    I suppose if I rated it, despite how short it is, it would get 4/5.
     
  4. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,733
    Location:
    India
    S'ok. Non-gay vampire story.

    It did the "loopholes" gag a bit too much, but it's nothing to bother about. I wonder how that compulsion thing is going to end up.

    s'pose 4/5
     
  5. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,438
    Location:
    Florida
    It's a nice little story so far. The scenes are way too short though and the author does a lot more telling than showing.

    While I dislike it when a fic takes 200k words to get through a single year at Hogwarts, 18k words is...a little short. I would like to see bigger scenes and more description, but oh well - it's good for what it is.

    4/5
     
  6. AntiChrist

    AntiChrist Professor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    479
    It's a really nice story (both of them), but it's a little short as of right now. If I were to rate it'll probably end up being 4/5.
     
  7. Oz

    Oz The Big Kahuna Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,723
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    So far, both stories have been excellent and left me waiting for more. Only negative is that the writing itself is a little incomplete - like English isn't the author's first language. If I had to guess I'd say they're from Eastern Europe.

    5/5
     
  8. Mog

    Mog DA Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2009
    Messages:
    160
    Location:
    in your I-ma-gi-na-tion, Poof.
    Yeah, I really liked the how Harry didn't develop any attachment to his food. Honestly, why would a predator get along with it's prey, just doesn't fit in nature. Was it wrong of me to laugh when that chick talked about being together forever, followed by Harry kicking her ass out? If so I'll have to do this. :banana:
     
  9. parselmaster

    parselmaster Sixth Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2005
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    Annon
    Ah, gotta take a look at this. Too bad I'm too busy. I'll come back and edit this post later with my review.
     
  10. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    It shows promise of being library worthy. The universe Esama is using is better than the ones created for "Technomagus" and "Space Haven."

    No vote so far, but it's unofficially 4 stars at the moment.
     
  11. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Messages:
    111
    I thought it was okay. It had the makings of a really good story, but the format itself made it seem choppy. Personally I think that if each scene was developed into a chapter format it would make a rather good, novel length work.

    3/5
     
  12. Novera

    Novera Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Messages:
    237
    Location:
    Michigan
    The only problem I had with this was Harry's OOC-ness. His deepest desire being him slaughtering the whole of Hogwarts was a bit much (though the mirror scene was lulzy).

    I would think that he would develop a bit of an attachment to Cedric, Hermione, and the twins. People bond with their pets, even ones that they will eat if they spend enough time with them.

    While I get that Harry is a vampire and would act accordingly, I can't say that I like the complete lack of Harry-like behavior. I feel like I am reading a story about a Hellsing vampire at Hogwarts, not a story about Harry that got bitten by a Hellsing vampire.
     
  13. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    I don't think Harry's dream is specifically about Hogwart or some such, more than it is a metaphor.

    Of Him as he is, being free of the HeadMaster's yoke, free to drink and eat.

    Vampires... Vampires being inhuman is good. I dislike stories about Vampires being just random emo humans. Having a Harry that knows he lacks something, but still lust for blood is good, me think.
     
  14. Bukay

    Bukay Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2006
    Messages:
    420
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, England
    This is a good one, definitely library worthy

    The chapters are a bit too short in interaction, but I guess that it's a measure to avoid putting the readers to sleep with unnecessary dialogues.

    The interaction between Harry and Dumbledore is unique and therefore welcomed. From Dumbledore cringingd at being called Master to accepting the fact that he has a dog he can unleash on someone... speaking of that, the meeting with Voldemort was amusing :D

    Rarely does a Hellsing xover work. This one does. 5/5
     
  15. Gizmore

    Gizmore Minister of Swedish Affairs DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2006
    Messages:
    786
    Location:
    Sweden
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2009
  16. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,544
    Location:
    Saturn
    Your kidding right? The guy who wrote that script should have been hanged.
     
  17. Calis Clayr

    Calis Clayr Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2007
    Messages:
    293
    Location:
    One of the smallest countries in the world
    You've obviously never read the manga or seen the OVA's.

    I thought it was alright. The only thing that bothered me was Harry's attitude: he thinks and acts much too 'wise' for his age. You'd think he's been alive for centuries, but this isn't the case, he's only been a vampire for six years.
    Still, it's a nice and interesting read, despite the unusual format.

    4/5
     
  18. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,604
    I disagree. Knowing you're immortal would change anybody's perception of the world, and probably would make him wiser as well. Not all that convoluted.
     
  19. Vorpal

    Vorpal Third Year

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    99
    Or maybe it's just a combination of vampires absorbing experience from those they devour and their thought processes being nonhuman in the first place.
     
  20. Gizmore

    Gizmore Minister of Swedish Affairs DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2006
    Messages:
    786
    Location:
    Sweden
    But I have, it's not that great, I'd give it 3/5. Van helsing would've been much better setting.