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Complete Mother of Learning by nobody103 - T - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Betosa, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    EinStern already put it better than I can:

    He's not skipping things completely, or doing extreme summaries as you suggested,

    What he's doing is introducing us to these things, he's showing us the first karate class, introducing the instructor, getting a feel for how the classes will be like, and then just mentions that they are still happening. It would be beyond tedious to see Harry practice how to fall or roll five hundred times, take it from someone who had to do it himself, it's boring enough to do, let alone read about someone doing it.
     
  2. thejabber27

    thejabber27 Groundskeeper

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    New chapter is up, surprisingly more proactive than I thought it would be. Can't wait to see it develop more.
     
  3. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    The ending of it surprised me, I didn't expect that to be the aranea's next move. I wonder how they'll explain it.
     
  4. Ferdiad

    Ferdiad Unspeakable

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    Strange seeing an author actually move the plot forward in a story like this.
     
  5. theronin

    theronin Order Member

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    I need to go back and reread the whole thing. I keep forgetting who some of the minor characters that get mentioned are. I definitely like the way things are picking up though.
     
  6. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Almost felt like it's suddenly moving too fast. We went from just another training chapter to a chapter with a bit of a time skip where things are suddenly moving along. Felt just a tad jarring.

    The rest of the story has been fantastic, but it could be made or wrecked here. We'll see how it goes.
     
  7. melior

    melior Seventh Year

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    Just finished reading this for the first time.

    Early in the thread, somebody mentioned that it felt a lot like Harry Potter, and I found that kind of true early on. More specifically, to me it felt a lot like Harry Potter fanfiction, with the various types of soul bonds (familiar bonds, twin bonds) and just the magic system in general. The author has since fleshed it out quite a bit and made it his own, but the similarities are too great to ignore. Generally it's not a good or bad thing to readers, I don't think, just something that jumped out at me.

    I'm not a fan of the names in the story. Early on the author was way too fond of the letter Z, and it ended up biting him on at least one occasion when he tagged a line of dialogue with "Zach" when it was obviously Zorian talking. "Spell formula" is not only bland for such an important class/ability, but the way he seems to use it as a plural reads odd, too. And Xvim makes me think of an awesome programmer's text editor every time.

    The time skips only slightly bother me, but I get over them quickly since it makes the story go faster. What the author calls this arc is shaping up to be over 200k, and the big 5 publishers only let the big names go that high. Self-publishing is obviously way different, but I would expect a competent editor to cut quite a bit anyway before publication.

    The author does a fantastic job of showing just how far Zorian lags behind the most powerful mages, but still making each of his hard-earned successes quite satisfying. The way so many seemingly simple events tended to have much deeper meanings and causes was just incredible. The author also must have a sibling, because Zorian's maturing attitude toward his sister very accurately mirrors almost every sibling relationship I've seen, not to mention experienced.

    There are so many interesting threads in the story, I just hope he has extensive notes on all of them. Others mentioned Kirielle, but I'll mention Xvim: what he does during the invasion, what he's trying to teach Zorian, and just generally what his deal is. I'm actually quite surprised Zorian isn't more interested in what he's after. I'm also interested in finding out what Kael wants in on the loop for -- that plot thread has practically disappeared, but it feels like there are big plans involved there.

    Anyway, to summarize, character progression and pacing are fantastic, and it's a thoroughly enjoyable read. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the rest.
     
  8. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Part of the reason why this story is so long already when we're not even out of the first arc may be that the author hadn't been seriously writing this at first. I got the feeling while reading that he started this from an idea and now that it's grown as popular as it has he's giving it more attention.
     
  9. bastur2

    bastur2 DA Member

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    And it updated
     
  10. Invictus

    Invictus Master of Death

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    Ii have mixed feelings about thid chapter. I don't know if it's a filler chapter or not, I really can't, but it isn't the game changer I thought it would be. I'm really amused by how all of the classmates that gotten more detailed descriptions, except the plot movers like Zach and Ben, are females and all moderatily beautiful at least. I don't think any (or most at least) are red herrings. The supporting cast in genrral is almost 3/4 female.

    The writing is as usual great, and his paranoia always amuses me. I don't know how I feel about Taiven, characters that appeared way less and are not nearly as important to Zoriam got more characterisation and better ones at that. Annoying.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
  11. yak

    yak Moderator DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    The chapter was proceeding okay but then it ended on a soft note. It could have done with a stronger scene at the end. I think the chapter was let down a bit, although this wouldn't be a problem if this was a completed story.

    The filler was alright. The important names and people in the class were covered, which is great.

    I hadn't realised that almost all of the supporting charas are females - and often winsome - until Invictus pointed it out. There's an in-universe explanation for it, but even the spiders are female. o_O
     
  12. bastur2

    bastur2 DA Member

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    I think that his problem is that while the primary character changes, the others don't.

    So, if he stays to long in one character their characterization start to deviate from the begning, this is why we know less about an important side character than we know aboun an unimportant one.

    The low timing of this chapter is also important to contrast with the last one, as in this we are being show a new side character, a possible future point of study in mind magic, a element of comparission for Zohan's evolution as a Mage and the begning of the end of the Aracnas as a reoccurring characters... At least for now.
     
  13. Gafgarion

    Gafgarion Second Year

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    The way that it ended left me a little worried. I am the only one taking his paranoia seriously? When he talked about introducing his sister to Novelty, that was funny, but when he goes talking to a suspicious classmate, I just thought about how this could bite him.

    Remember that the Aranea are painting a big target on their backs, the third time traveler is looking for them, and now a girl from a family on mind magic practitioners has a way in to talk to the spiders. This could be the end of the first arc, with Zorian mindwiped (that probably won't happen, but why take chances?).
     
  14. bastur2

    bastur2 DA Member

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    Nah, I think that the aranea will be made a non entity by the end of this events... And Zorian will get the knowledge to bring other minds with him.
    This will be the end of the first arc, he will stop acting alone and will bring others to the loop.

    The aranea are reaching the end of there usefulness as a character, as he doesn't need them to progress, not now that he knows with spells to look for.

    They will die, and wil die for the remainder loops, as he will arrive and the colony will already be dead.
     
  15. bludvein

    bludvein Squib

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    I agree that the aranea are reaching the end of their rope, but I disagree on Zorian getting the ability to bring others with him. That's a ways away, since it would take either highly risky and theoretical soul magic or Zorian having the expertise to build his own memory packets. Neither of which he has access to.

    I think we are getting a last laugh with Novelty, Kirielle, and Tinami that was hinted earlier. Just to make it more horrifying when the lich goes after them and utterly destroys their souls or something equally horrifying. Fully justifying Zorian's rampant paranoia and making him a hell of a lot more cautious. He's slipping lately.

    Plus they have about taught him all they are willing about psychic skills, it's just a matter of practice at this point. They were never going to teach him the more delicate stuff to begin with. They are just plain too big of an asset long-term. The story is about Zorian getting the skills to get out of this mess, not being an accessory to the matriarch's plans.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
  16. TMNTurtwig

    TMNTurtwig Professor

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    It was pretty obvious the Aranea were going to die the moment Matriarch prepared a contingency plan with a secret key.
     
  17. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Either it's a red herring or he messed up with putting that info out so early on.
     
  18. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    He definitely dropped something important into that chapter, hell maybe even two somethings. I'm betting He's going to further his mind arts in the future using Tinami and her family in some fashion. Plus we were introduced to a new mystery girl.

    Either way, I hope Taiven continues to show up more. She's one of my favorite characters.
     
  19. Bentgame

    Bentgame First Year

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    Just got updated.
     
  20. Klackerz

    Klackerz Bridgeburner

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    ....So that just happened.