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Oneshot Retroactive by wordhammer - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by wordhammer, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2010
    Messages:
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    In the wood room, somewhere flat
    Title: Retroactive (alt title Mr. Shoehorn)
    Author: wordhammer
    Rating: T or PG13 - no sex, a little gore
    Genre: Adventure/Humor
    Status: Complete (one-shot)
    Library Category: General
    Pairings: Harry/Luna
    Summary: Harry takes a chance in hope of saving Sirius from the Veil, assisted by Luna and some stolen Time Turners. Working with Luna comes with its own complications, though.
    Link: FanFiction.Net

    It's a quirky little piece where Harry tries to rewrite the Department of Mysteries battle by using Time Turners. Luna is dragged along to help (seeing as Hermione is inconveniently near-death). I like it... because I wrote it. Others who have liked it enjoyed the humor and characterizations, but didn't appreciate the bittersweet ending. I humbly ask you to judge for yourself.
     
  2. Radmar

    Radmar Disappeared

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2014
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    339
    Location:
    Czech Republic
    I was ready to give 4/5, but ending ruined it for me. 3/5. I don't know what else to say about it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2015
  3. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
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    Location:
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    High Score:
    3,164
    This is one of my favorite one-shots ever. Easy 5/5.
     
  4. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 9, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    The first time I read this was probably the fastest I ever transitioned to loving a story to utter apathy. I'm guessing the end was supposed to evoke some sort of emotional response, but what actually happened is that I went "meh", closed the tab, and forgot about the story thoroughly enough that I managed to read it again a few months later and not realize that I'd read it before until I got to the end again.
     
  5. potterheadcharles

    potterheadcharles Third Year

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    103
    The story is well written. What more, Luna is well written, which doesn't happen often. There are plenty of laughs throughout and Harry's attitude is a plus. I so loved the scene where those two DEs question his sexual orientation. Lol.

    The ending, as stated above, is where most readers try to forget they ever read this. Its just that it feels like you are enjoying a date with a girl, everything is perfect, you are on top of the world, the food is great, she seems to be enjoying your company, she laughs on your inane jokes when you are walking her to her house; then at the door, when you close your eyes expecting a nice kiss, your cheeks suddenly sting and you hear the thump of a door closing.

    And you are like, Why?

    You just can't give full marks to the otherwise perfect date then.

    So, 4/5.

    It seems to go along with Luna's character somehow, but you should not torture your readers when they are expecting a nice lovey-dovey ending.
     
  6. anvyl

    anvyl Third Year

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    90
    Interestingly enough, i can actually remember reading this a year or so ago.

    I can't remember the jokes or particular pieces, but the memory that did stay is exactly as others have posted above, the ending left me completly dissatisfied with the story.
    3/5
     
  7. Charlesnaismith

    Charlesnaismith First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    35
    Location:
    Elsewhen
    Nice start, just didn't work for me by the ending.

    3/5