Title: Revelations of the Beezlebub
Author: Sanctimonius
Rating: T
Category: Tragedy/Action/Adventure
Crossover: Lord of the Flies
Summery: WIP. AU Lord of the Flies Crossover A trip to Florida results in a plane crash leaving nine year old Harry stranded on a deserted island with a group of schoolboys. Watch Harry learn about his powers in seclusion and lose his innocence at an early age
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3001800/1/

I followed up on my brainstorming (for any who remember that) and here's the outcome so far. Feedback would be welcome .



Checked by Minion, December 11, 2012
Dead link is dead. If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.

 

It's a good start. So is Simon going to be in this story? or are you going to replace Harry with Simon? Well, Since Simon was pretty much the only rational kid on the island in the book, well, more so then the others.

 

That was a nice start and all, but work on the length of the chapters. That took me a grand total of 5 minutes to read.

It does look good, has a bright future but around 2.5k word chapters is a tad short.

 

like it so far, chapters could do with being a bit longer, but it doesn't bother me too much, so long as you keep updating.

 

Very nicely done. You've made a great start!

Do keep writing.

 

Its great so far. I like that you give the characters a rational reason for acting the way they are, not just assume, someone is sadistic or stupid or crazy. Keep it up.

 

Harry will replace Simon on the island. Simon, even though he's hallucinating at the time, learns the most interesting lesson, and I figure Harry would do well to learn that too.

And about length, I honestly don't have the patience to pump out 10k chapters every day; well that and i don't havethe time. Apologies.

 

Very intruiging...it's a little early to really critique your plot, but you write well, and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, so well done!

Keep it up, update soon

...Jack Sparrow?

 

How detailed is your plan for this stroy? Do you have a plot lined out?

 

I have the story fairly planned out. Honestly, I'm not one for incredibly detailed outlines as I tend to change things as I go along. I'm going more for the general events and using my memory of Lord of the Flies as a guide. Basically, Harry's going to be bringing the lessons that he learns on the island back with him to the war. Expect him back in time for fourth year at Hogwarts. And he will know about Hogwarts.

 

I like it, as short as it is. Even though I have never read Lord of the Flies it is easy to understand so easy to enjoy. Though that could be and I'm guessing that all events that have happened thus far in the story happen near the beginning of Lord of the Flies so there is no real need to have previous knowledge which is something I personally like in a crossover. The strange snake Schlange I believe he was called which seemed to be made out of just magic, or that was my interpretation was pretty interesting and I would like further exploration of what exactly it is.

All in all a good story I think but I don't know how it holds up to people with previous knowledge of the crossover. It's a shame that it seem to be abandoned.

 

Not abandoned, just on hiatus.

 

A well-written and promising 'Lord of the Flies' crossover, but it hasn't updated in three years. With only three chapters, there's not much substance to it.

Sanctimonious is a member here, but hasn't posted since January.

4/5 for what's there, but I can only assume that this has been abandoned.

 

Lord of the Flies is one of my favorite novels of all time. So I was interesting in seeing what a crossover held. It was plausible, and very well-written thus far. However, I was disappointed in seeing that it was seemingly abandoned, and only three chapters.

With that being said, I think this story had great potential, and wish it was finished.

However, given the nature of what has been completed, the score will have to be adjusted. For the content there, I would give it a 4/5. For all the facts above, it will get a 3/5 from me. It's not Library worthy in it's current form, but it certainly is Recycle Bin worthy.