Based on the thread by Xandrel, with his permission.
The premise is to take the following chart and roll 9 dice. Then take the choices you got, and make a (at least semi-) coherent fic out of that!
Only goes up to pre-timeskip; feel free to write a similar chart for post-timeskip or even other fandoms.

First roll for male teammate.
1: Kabuto.
2: Sai.
3: Shikamaru.
4: Sasuke.
5: Kiba.
6: Pick your favorite.

Second roll for female teammate.
1: Tenten.
2: Ino.
3: Hinata.
4: Sakura.
5: Re-roll.
6: Pick your favorite.

Third roll for sensei.
1: The Third Hokage.
2: Jiraiya.
3: Asuma.
4: Kakashi.
5: Kurenai.
6: Ebisu.

Fourth roll for specialty.
1: Stealth.
2: Genjutsu.
3: Taijutsu.
4: Ninjutsu.
5: Kenjutsu.
6: Seals.

Fifth roll for first 'real' mission destination.
1: The Daimyo's capital.
2: Near Kumo.
3: Near Iwa.
4: Near Kiri.
5: Wave.
6: Oto.

Sixth roll for mission type of the above.
1: Re-roll.
2: Diplomacy mission.
3: Hunting wild animals.
4: Bodyguard.
5: Clearing out bandits.
6: Pick your favorite.

Seventh roll for Chunin Exam difficulty and location.
1: Canon Konoha. Written test, Forest of Death, Solo Tournament.
2: Easy Grass. Written test, Easier FoD, Team Tournament.
3: Normal Kumo. No test, Mountain of Death, Solo Tournament.
4: Hard Suna. Written test, Survival in the Desert, Battle Royale.
5: Insane Iwa. Written test, Survive against the Tsuchikage for a certain time.
6: Not nominated for the exam in Konoha. Better luck next year!

Eighth roll for Chunin Exam disaster/results.
1: Teammate dies in the Exam. Your choice as to who.
2: Nothing happens, but no promotions.
3: Nothing happens, but promoted.
4: Host village is invaded by Orochimaru.
5: Village is invaded by Orochimaru and another village working together.
6: Akatsuki attack.

Ninth roll for Fifth Hokage.
1: Sarutobi sees no reason to pass on his hat, since everything's fine.
2: Danzo.
3: Kakashi.
4: Tsunade.
5: Jiraiya.
6: Pick your favorite.

 

For a team I got: Kiba, Ino, and Sasuke with Danzo as leader, first mission is a bodyguard mission and specialty is Kenjutsu. complication is during the Chunin Exams Akatsuki attack... if I could write I have no idea how to make that coherent.

 

Sorry but I had to post this: "Roll your own" and Naruto in the same sentence made me think of sushi for some reason.

 

Naruto, Kiba, and Sakura, training under Ebisu. Naruto specializes in kenjutsu, and their first mission is bodyguarding in the Daimyo's capital. After the chunin exams in Kumo nothing happens beyond promotions, and Danzo becomes the 5th Hokage.

 

6, 4, 2, 2, 3, 6, 2, 5, 5, 6

Also used Random.org to generate numbers,

Naruto, Kabuto, and Sakura act as Team 7, under Jiraya. Naruto's speciality is genjutsu, with their first mission being diplomacy at the Daimyo's capital. Chunnin Exam takes pace in Iwa, including having to survive against the Tsuchikage. The village is invaded by Orochimaru and another village working together, and Sarutobi continues on as the Third Hokage.

The funny thing is that Naruto, Kabuto, and Sakura act almost as a mirror image of the Sannin with Naruto as a Jiraiya proxy, Kabuto as Orochimaru's, and Sakura as Tsunade's. The only question is whether or not Kabuto will end up defecting to Orochimaru this time around, and if Sasuke does the same... (Also, Naruto's speciality is genjutsu?!)

 

The Third Hokage decides to take a new genin team. To this end, a competition is held: only the most resourceful, creative and cunning will win themselves a spot on his team. This competition pits every academy student against each other, leading to them all improving rapidly. Ultimately Naruto manages to scrape into a spot - along with his new teammates: Sasuke and Hinata, and the God of Shinobi becomes their teacher.

They all grow, incredibly quickly. Naruto, taught by The Professor, learns Seals and learns how incredibly fun and rather explosive they are - and that he's actually beginning to be rather good at the whole thing.

Shit begins to hit the fan, though, when the Hokage is pulled away on diplomatic duties to attempt to begin to repair the extremely volatile relations with Iwa. While the Sandaime is to be conducting negotiations, he assigns his team their own diplomatic mission to Iwa. And... that does not go well, for anybody.

Look, long story short, the mission gets screwed up royally and Iwa turns their special brand of grudge directly onto Naruto and his team-mates. Naruto, who they know to be the son of the Yondaime, is barred from ever coming back into the country, and the disastrous fallout of the peace talks mean Konoha and Iwa's relationships are even more stretched than usual.

That's all fine and dandy, of course, until it comes time for the Chuunin exams - and it's set in Iwa. They're forced to let Naruto and his team back in to compete for the duration of the exams, but that doesn't mean they're bloody happy about it. Naruto, of course, finds out that it was his own sensei pushing for the exams to be held in Iwa from behind the scenes - the Sandaime has his own plans, and they're all in for a bumpy ride.

Cue the day of the actual exams; they find out that after the written test, in order to be promoted each genin team must face a jounin of Iwa by themselves, and survive for as long as possible. This is all fine and dandy, until it's their turn to fight. And which ninja with a grudge steps forth as the 'jonin' they must fight? Why, the Tsuchikage, of course.

Naruto and his team get crushed. But in the process of being crushed, they manage to impress a reluctant Tsuchikage and repair the villages' relations somewhat. All three of them are promoted to Chuunin, and their sensei is incredibly proud.

Since he's not dead, the Sandaime stays on as the Hokage! But he does begin training a certain blonde kid in the ways of politics and paperwork, in the hope that he may one day again have a worthy successor...

 

Okay, this exercise kind of ran away with me...

The team consists of Naruto, Sasuke, and Ino. They’re learning Kenjutsu under Asuma. The destination of their first, real mission is near Kiri, where they have to protect someone. Later they will have a Chūnin Exam in Grass (easy-mode). There, a sudden invasion by Orochimaru and another village rocks the balance. In the aftermath, Jiraiya becomes the Hokage.

So, that’s the template.

Act I​

Asuma came back from his stint at the Daimyo’s court a changed man, now no longer intent on quarreling with his father just for the sake of angering him. The Third was glad for that, he really was, but there were other, rather undesirable traits Asuma had acquired during his time away. He had become a betting man, a gambler of the finest order, and also learned how to goad a room into entering his schemes by reciting koans talking about fear as a good, a healthy thing for human survival.

A room filled with Jōnin, all of which should know better, soon allotted numbers to every available student and then drew them at random. Asuma mainly did it to alleviate boredom, and because his cigarette pack was empty. Enduring hour-long banter and logical reasoning about which Genin goes where had not appealed to him.

Half an hour later, everyone shuffled out of the room, leaving the Third to look at the groups this mad gathering had created. The most normal team seemed Asuma’s own, which had barely changed from its original constellation of Sasuke and Naruto, only taking a Yamanaka Ino instead of Haruno Sakura.

Hiruzen wondered whether his son had planned it like that, but then discarded that thought. How would Asuma have even predicted the meaning? And cheating in a room filled with Jōnin seemed out of question.

Act II​

In the coming months, Asuma trained his team in Kenjutsu, a discipline attempted by many, mastered by few. The six-sides dice he had used to decide what to teach his charges had made that possible, even when his own knowledge of Kenjutsu went no farther than his two chakra knives.

Luckily his students were still Genin though. For now, everything he taught them seemed incredible and was far above their own skill. When the time came to teach something new, he’d just use another dice.

Fortune arrived a week later in the form of a singularly and mysteriously fitting request. A weapon smith from Tanyu, a town miles to the south of Konoha, was asked to craft a heavy trainings sword for the only swordsman of the Legendary Seven still loyal to Kiri. He was in dire need of protection until the sword was safely delivered.

Asuma drew sticks with Kakashi and won the mission. Team Gamble was on its way, team-dynamic fruity as usual with Naruto taking to the whole gambling thing and goading Sasuke into bets on a regular basis. Asuma was immensely proud.

He was also slightly disconcerted by Ino’s growing affection for him. She had never seen a manly beard like his and now, it turned out, developed a fetish for body hair on men. Or maybe just older men in general, who knew? Asuma faulted Inoichi’s effeminate looks for that. If Ino’s father had had scratched her face with a beard of his own when she kissed his cheek as a little girl, Asuma was sure she would not think like this now.

Besides, seeing Kurenai naked once had been enough to ruin him for every other woman.

The mission at the outskirts of Kiri went well, until Mei Terumi, current Mizukage, decided that she too liked beards. She was by far more persuasive than Ino in her affections though, and so Asuma revised his earlier statement.

Kurenai and Mei had been enough to ruin him for every other woman.

Trouble hit the team on their way back, when they paused at an inn to stay for the night and came upon Jiraiya of the Sannin, who—unconcerned with the ordered return date of their mission—ordered them to help him with an investigation. Good training for the minions, he had called it. Asuma gambled with him, but found his match. He lost; they stayed.

The investigation went smoothly from one women to the next. And when Asuma had almost given up hope that this wasn’t just an elaborate way to make them perv on women, they were attacked by Ripper of the Golden Egg. A shinobi who used poison in the shape of yellow gelatin eggs, throwing them at unsuspecting prostitutes. They would fall unconscious for five minutes, then upon awaking, be completely aroused.

They subdued the B-Ranked poison shinobi. Jiraiya took the eggs and left immediately after, telling them something about having to further research the eggs. They could be insanely dangerous after all.

Asuma decided it was not his business to pry. Team Gamble moved back to the village, celebrated as heroes. Asuma left his team as they began bragging to their friends and former classmates. He celebrated with Kurenai, who thought his beard was very manly, too.

Act III
​

Things were calm for a while, until Asuma had to make another important decision. He flipped a coin; his team went to the Chūnin Exams at Grass. The way was spent in the company of his father, two other teams, and a few Jōnin guards. Naruto began crushing on Ino if the fuzz on his chin was a sign. Asuma thought a small breeze would be enough to scatter the few hairs to the wind.

The Exams went well. The written test was easy. The equivalent of the Forest of Death even more so. It lacked nothing of the forest part, but all of the death. Then came the group tournament but Asuma had never had any doubt his team would win there. They had learned from him after all.

Things turned sour when a klaxon almost shattered Asuma’s eardrum. The world trembled and shivered as if having a fever. Snakes were the least of Kusa’s problems as everywhere bombs exploded. Orochimaru was invading the village, riding on the head of an oversized snake, behind him the might of the Sky village. They curved in their hang gliders above the arena and dropped bombs as well as golden, human-sized eggs.

Eventually Orochimaru lost, but not before taking the life of the Third. Asuma’s father did not go without accomplishing something though. In a strained effort, he used a forbidden technique and, reaching deep into the core of the existence that was Orochimaru, he severed the connection between the Snake Sannin and his snakes. It was a reconstruction of all that was Orochimaru. No snake would heed his call now and forever. Re-signing the contract was equally impossible.

In the aftermath, after many tears were shed, Jiraiya was made the fifth Hokage. When Asuma later asked him what the meaning of the yellow eggs was, Jiraiya told him that it was the reason he had investigated the pervert near Kiri. Ripper of the Golden Egg had been a scientist working with Sky village once. Led by a deep-seated lust, he had seen the, erm, potential in the egg. He absconded with the formula, slightly altering it to his own purposes on the way.

He had not been the only one with that knowledge though. The Sky village had kept several scientists on their roster.

Out of respect, Asuma stopped gambling for a while. When Sasuke asked him if he could get taught more techniques to get his revenge, Asuma started again. The coin said ‘no’, and Sasuke, so entrenched now in the gambling system, accepted it with grace.

 

Somebody please write this.

 

3, 5 (rerolled to 3), 2, 3, 6, 2, 5, 4, 6

Jiraya forms a team containing Naruto, Shikamaru and Hinata. Naruto's specialization is taijutsu. Their first mission seems to be a simple courier mission to Oto but in truth this is just a deception for some diplomatic talk between two of the Sannin. Naruto's chunin exam takes in the worst possible country , Iwa. After passing their written examination the real test is revealed: To fight the Tsuchikage and survive as long as possible. Shortly before the rookie team from Konoha is defeated Orochimaru invades. He manages to defeat the Tsuchikage and utterly destroy the village and is named fifth Hogake, as per prior agreement with Jiraya for taking out Konohas fiercest enemy.

Strange rolls and pretty OOC, but I guess Hiruzen really wanted to quit and Jiraya couldn't be bothered to ask Tsunade to take the job.

 

Rollin’ Shinobi, a Naruto Adventure.
​

Naruto slurped up the last noodles in his on-the-go bowl from Ichiraku's as he entered the Academy, well and truly happy. It wasn't often that the Old Man wanted him for something, since the incident with the Shadow Clone no Jutsu, and here he was being called up - with pointed politeness, no less, no gruff ANBU shadowing his footsteps the whole while.

“Oh, it’s you. Up the stairs.”

Naruto gave the secretary the stink eye as he passed. Typical stupid villager attitude, always looking down on him, like some kind of filthy animal. Well screw her, he thought. The Hokage wants me for something, so take that!

“Old Man Hokage!” he greeted boisterously as he ascended the steps. “What--” he trailed off uncertainly at the looks of the Inuzuka boy and the girl from the flower shop, already present, when he appeared.

“Ya gotta be kiddin’ me,” Kiba muttered. Ino sighed. Naruto squinted and crossed his arms.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” he changed tact.

The Hokage rolled his hat off and clopped it to the desktop irately, getting the three wayward student’s attention. “Naruto, that is hardly any way to respond to your fellow teammates.” He lit his pipe with a flare of hand seals so quick that Naruto couldn’t even comprehend them, just a whoosh and the next thing the Hokage was puffing away.

In typical Naruto fashion, the young shinobi-to-be asked, just as loudly as he’d begun upon entering the room, “Whaddya mean teammates?”

“Like it was our choice in the matter to be partnered up with you,” Ino stated scathingly. Then she turned and bowed in contrition. “Sorry, Lord Hokage. But couldn’t we really pick someone else?” She brightened considerably. “Someone like Sasuke!”

Naruto growled in outrage, the first in what would inevitably build to a storm of insults and, in time, mischief. Kiba scoffed again. The Third leveled his pipe at each of the children in turn, staring hard.

“Life will rarely accommodate the preferences we would choose, miss Yamanaka. Try to show more enthusiasm; and that goes for all of you, Naruto.” Naruto shut his trap reluctantly. “Now come, sit down. I have called you three together because I see in you the makings of a worthy successor of my previous team. Under my own direct guidance, Team Sarutobi shall begin preparations for the Chuunin Exams in the months ahead. And I expect to see a fully functional cohesion between each of you, covering for flaws and heightening strengths, by the time your names are eligible for nomination.”

[Rollin’ Shinobi]​

A disparaging exhalation met their first training period’s close.

“Ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu, all staples of our ninja arts, and all deplorable at this level.” The Third sat his log puffing on another pipe, turning a crucial eye over his pupils. “Naruto, while I commend your capacity for the Shadow Clone Jutsu, on its own it is undisciplined; mass rushing is futile if they lack the fighting skills to back it up.” Naruto panted on the ground a few feet away, unable to have left a single scratch upon the Hokage’s hat, let alone his person.

“Kiba, your partnership with Akamaru is well founded, but you suffer from the opposite flaw; your charge is too firmly telegraphed in advance. You require more patience, the subtlety before you act.” He and Akamaru nodded wearily. “And you are also lacking coordination with Naruto.”

“And miss Ino.” There was practically no need to expand upon her failings. She slumped in complete exhaustion, having failed to hold with her family’s famed skills. “You lack the stamina to uphold your talents despite reacting with well placed timing.”

“So… what can we… do about it, Old Man?” Naruto bit out.

“Do, indeed.” The Third thought on the subject for several moments. “I will acquire training aids to further your undeveloped prowess. In the meanwhile, you three shall start coordinating your spare training sessions together and working to increase each other’s lacking areas of the ninja arts.”

[Rollin’ Shinobi 2]​

At the start of their fourth session the Hokage brought out swords. Tanto’s, in truth. “I have decided that, of all your diverse fields available, only kenjutsu is well suited as a middle-ground between them, be it ninjutsu, taijutsu, and yes, even genjutsu, rare though that application may be.”

Naruto swung his around experimentally, getting a feel of the grip. A widening smile lit his features. It was moderately heavy, more so than a handful of kunai, but bright orange like his jumpsuit, and it felt right in his hands. He always liked the thought of stabbing, for some reason.

And,he thought, it would make reaching the Hokage’s hat that much easier in their next attempt.

But oh, how wrong he was on that count. How very, very wrong. After a refresher course on how to handle deadly blades without slitting one's own wrist in the process, the Third proceeded to swat them down with his pipe aglow in chakra, and yet another grueling lesson in the ways of the shinobi began being drilled into Team Sarutobi one awful day at a time.

[Rollin’ Shinobi 3]​

After the first month, the term genin actually deserved to be used in reference toward his students. Rust scraped off of skills barely acquired to begin with beyond the crudest rudiments, and a fine polish set into place in the burgeon field of swordsmanship, the Third Hokage sat back toward the end of their latest bout with an inkling of pride in the middle of his stern gaze.

“Old Man, how much longer before we start going out on real missions?” Naruto, as ever, complained first and foremost even as he darted in with two dozen clones, some few of which were, despite the odds, a camouflaged Kiba and Akamaru. Ino sat off to the side nursing a bruised wrist; of course, the moment he let his guard down, feigning interest in the discussion, she lunged into motion the same as they.

A few moments later three sore genin and a young pup lay scattered to the four winds. At the least they had lasted those precious seconds, which was more than could be said for the average Academy student.

“Very well. By the middle of the following month, if Team Sarutobi continues to improve at this pace, I shall dedicate a mission beyond Konoha. But!” He spared Naruto’s suddenly hopeful face a measured look. “You of all will need to take this mission seriously, Naruto.”

Naruto shuffled to his feet. “No problem-dattebayo!”

[Rollin’ Shinobi 4]​

“An escort mission!?”

The Third leveled a withering stare.

“I mean… an escort mission? I thought we’d be doing something awesome, like uh, fighting off enemy ninja, or hunting after dangerous animals or somethin'. Ya know, a cool mission.”

“Naruto, if we went about performing solely extermination missions Konoha would soon enter a shortage of means. And while I have grown confident in your prowess as a team, I will not see your lives jeopardized simply for the sake of ‘coolness’. It is this or nothing at all until the Chuunin Exams.”

Kiba yanked the blond boy aside. “Shuddup a minute and listen! Iwa is gonna be more than rough enough to satisfy our interest in putting these blades to good use. The Fourth is the only reason Iwa hasn’t been on our asses since the end of the last war!”

And that was all that was needed. Naruto did not exactly grin, but he showed a renewed determination in the days leading up to their departure.

“So who’re escorting around?”

“A scroll merchant.”

Naruto groaned.

[Rollin’ Shinobi 5]​

Naruto plucked a rock from the bottom of his sandals. Flicked it out amidst all the other forsaken rocks in this part of the shinobi nations, watched it roll to a mullish stop, and sighed. His tanto hung at his hip, undrawn. Kiba at least had Akamaru for muttered conversation, and the Third had the merchant to speak with, leaving the two blonds alone at the rear of the convoy, and while he’d amused himself with a Shadow Clone for a time, he was getting sick of being in his own head the whole while.

“So, uh, Ino.” She brushed back her shoulder-length hair with cursory interest. They weren’t the best partners, but by kami and the Third’s ruthless regiment standard, they had grown used to each other remarkably well. “How’s your hand healing?”

She rolled the bandaged limb at the wrist, flexing her digits about afterward. “Better every day.”

Well, that’s all I’ve got, he thought afterward. There just wasn’t much to talk about out here, and Kiba’s insistence to the contrary five days earlier had proven incredibly wrong. If only there was something to do besides pluck at rocks!

No one had ever told him not to taunt fate. The boulder up ahead exploded into fragments, and like a ring of exploding tags, the ground followed suit all around them.

When the dust and shards settled, twenty Iwa nin surrounded them. The scroll merchant screamed.

“Defend yourself,” the Third ordered his students.

Naruto grinned widely. “Awright!”

A horde of clones filled the environment, each carrying a drawn orange tanto. Naruto, Kiba, Akamaru and Ino grouped up together as the resource that just kept giving spawned two and three dozen more infantry to disrupt the enemy shinobi forces. One Iwa nin went down with ten puncture wounds bleeding horrifically. The others began demolishing the Screamin’ Orange Horde in calculated maneuvers after that, once the initial shock wore off, working inward faster than even Naruto could pump out a body count.

“Now what, genius?” Kiba and Akamaru squared off to tackle the first Iwa nin that burst up from around their ankles, slicing and biting by turns. Naruto kicked the hitai-ate off the next as Ino paralyzed the foe and drove his momentarily re-sheathed, and then redrawn, tanto down into the unprotected flesh beneath, as the Inuzuka’s finished their opponent off as well.

But with only three of the opposition eliminated, and seventeen still in good health despite the rare mark from a clone, the situation did not favor their odds of survival.

The Third righted that matter with the end of a rigid pole. Just as two months earlier, lighting his pipe so quickly that Naruto could not even read the hand seals, so too did the Hokage move like the wind in striking down each remaining Iwa nin that closed in on them, smashing the bodies to the ground only to fling them skyward the next instant in a blur of precision. In a handful of beats sixteen men came crashing to the hard land, unconscious.

The last, the commander of the strike team, watched from a measured distance. “Iwa remembers,” he bit out hotly, and before the stretching staff could reach him, the man leveled the earth upwards beneath their feet and the wagon where the Third and the Merchant stood, and then he was gone underground.

In the aftermath of the surprise assault, the Third sent his walking, talking staff to finish bringing the Scroll Merchant on into Iwa proper, and issued a return to Konoha for the rest of them while the evening hours still burned red on the horizon. Naruto complained loudly about being sent home without seeing the mission through to its completion, but he quelled soon enough before the Third’s stare.

“‘least we got to use our kenjutsu sommat,” he muttered under his breath to his teammates. Kiba was less enthused, but it was Ino who seemed to be downright shaken by her contributions in the act of death. Naruto could, for once, sympathize. Mizuki’s demise had not been a pleasant introduction to the real side of the ninja arts awaiting them down the road.

They reached the gates of Konoha by sunrise of the second morning following the incident. Unknown to his students, the Third Hokage had sat watch while they slept fitfully each time they bedded down for the night, thoughts too full to sleep even had he not been intent on seeing Team Sarutobi returned to Konoha safely.

[Rollin’ Shinobi 6]​

When they arrived for yet another training session under the Hokage, the three of them were greeted with an unfamiliar face. “Yo,” the jounin said mildly. “Lord Hokage is currently unable to continue his training sessions as your sensei. In point of fact, all of the team sensei’s will be unavailable for the near future as we draw toward the Chuunin Exams.”

Naruto frowned. “So what do we do in the meanwhile?”

“What else? Train. There’s no guarantee anyone will be nominated.”

And on that ominous note, one week later, the same jounin came around to break the news; “Sorry to say it, but Lord Hokage can not in good faith nominate Team Sarutobi for this year’s Chuunin Exams. Better luck next time.”

A cold stone sank down Naruto’s gullet and settled into place amidst his ramen noodles. Kiba and Akamaru pitched a fit, complaining about the man hours spent working together for nothing this year, while Ino rolled her eyes and left without a word.

“But… but we worked so hard!” Naruto finally said to the silver haired man. “We even fought off those Iwa shinobi! The Old Man’s been drilling us fiercely for over two months! What more does he want?”

The jounin stared at him with a curious expression. “Sometimes your skill and dedication just aren’t enough to cut it, kid. Lord Hokage’s decision is final. There’s always next year.”

[Rollin’ Shinobi 7]​

Naruto sat the balcony beside the other genin to fail their sensei’s standard, a mixed collection of mostly Konoha, with a few Suna and Kiri nin, and almost no Iwa. The lone trio of the rare other village, like the Sound, huddled off on their own, but by and large, the collective misery of those who hadn’t even had the chance to take the written exam, let alone participate in the battle exhibitions, saw the band of misfits rally together in their woes.

Below, Sasuke, of course, because who else but the prestigious bastard of the Uchiha clan, was fighting another genin from Suna and holding his own against the barrage of sand attacks.

Naruto squinted at his Academy rival and secretly hoped to see him beaten to a bloody pulp, but what were the odds of that actually happening? So far, slim to none. Red eyes aglow, Sasuke was countering every attack thrown his way, and landing a handful of his own in retribution.

After twenty minutes Naruto gave up and stood up, working back from the crowd into the rest of the Academy. I could really go for about ten bowls of Teuchi’s tastiest, spiciest ramen right now, he lamented. I’ll even settle for the fish roe ramen.

He never got the chance.

The village lit up like a bonfire, as throughout, ten infiltrators set into motion Konoha’s destruction and the taking of the hidden beasts pooled together.

“Naruto!” Ino was the first to reach him after the explosions stopped, finding the other blond half buried in a pile of debris. Naruto grunted as he crawled out from beneath a shattered wall, bleeding from half a dozen small but irritable wounds. He wiped a torn sleeve across his brow and held his arm there to stem the flow from reaching his eyes.

“Oh kami, Naruto, it’s awful! We need to find Kiba!”

“What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know!”

A man stepped out from the shadows behind them, an older, harrowed, sterner copy of Sasuke. Naruto stared at him blankly, briefly wondering how the bastard had grown over a foot and when did his sharingan start bleeding from the tear ducts, when the longest three days of the young ninja’s life came crashing down upon him in a reign of horrible fire and memories of torture, the Iwa battle gone catastrophically wrong.

Ino screamed when her teammate collapsed bonelessly, shivering, to the ground. When the darker Sasuke turned his bleeding gaze upon her she hit him with all the oomph of her Shintenshin no Jutsu- and for all of the one moment that she had insight into that man’s mind before being repelled, the purpose behind the assault appeared, and she knew, fighting not to black out the next moments, that she would never see Naruto again if she fainted.

She struggled back to her own feet and drew her tanto, angling the blade to face his awful eyes rather than look back at them directly.

And then, with a sound of curious chirping, the real Sasuke burst onto the scene in a howl of rage. Lightning smote the ground where the darker copy had stood, and Ino circled around to Naruto’s side, desperately prodding at him.

Blue eyes stared back at her blankly. He was beyond her help, only the help of himself.

Or the raging beast roaring inside of his gut.

[Rollin’ Shinobi 8]​

A red rage washed out the black horror, a bubbling malice that crept up and coiled around the fracturing pieces of Naruto’s battered psyche. He groaned unintelligibly as that hatred squeezed into the cracks and began gluing his mind back together with fire and wroth.What…he tried his first coherent thought since watching his own clones turn upon him, and his teammates, at what he had seen them do to Ino and Kiba and Akamaru, at what the Iwa nin had done to her… over and over again… what is… this?

A distant noise rippled through the haze of memories, shaking their hold. Naruto blinked and rolled over weakly. The earth underneath his body shook, and a scream lit the air, one he was well familiarized to by now, automatically snapping his gaze over to where Ino had fallen to her knees beside him, tanto scattered to the ground. He followed her sight ahead, expecting to see Kiba, the Third, or even the Merchant, but instead seeing Sasuke, the darker, harder Sasuke, holding the Sasuke he knew and loathed by the throat.

“Still trash. Several years and you are just a boy playing at being a shinobi. You would have been better off with the rest of the Clan.” Dismissing the furious genin and throwing him through a wall, the dark copy turned back to Naruto and Ino.

“As for you, girl. A brave attitude warrants a quick death.”

Naruto groaned. He rolled onto his stomach and puked up every ramen noodle he had ever eaten in his lifetime, feeling the red rage building up again. I won’t… I won’t watch her die again…

Unbeknownst to him, Naruto’s flesh began to boil and peel, and dark vermillion chakra bled up to the surface. At the base of his spine a single wispy tail formed and raked at the ground. Faux claws extended from his fingertips, gouging at the earth underneath his body. The whisker marks over his cheeks darkened.

“As expected of the Nine Tails,” dark Sasuke stated dryly as he moved in to incapacitate Naruto.

Naruto spun and threw himself at the older shinobi, filmy eyes half-blind with fury and chakra and blood. He felt a dull nail pounding at his thoughts as the same genjutsu tried to shred down to his battered mind, and then they were tangling, the enemy nin stepping back rapidly after only a moment, and a terrible fireball exploded in Naruto’s face, further blinding him - for the moment.

He howled and launched toward the scent of the man, chakra tail lashing out.

Ino sat helplessly on the ground, terrified. A war had fallen upon Konoha, and erupted scant feet away. And something truly awful had awoken within her teammate. All she could do was fight to stay awake and not die in the aftermath of the clash taking place.

The real Sasuke crawled from his own rubble on shaking limbs. Lightning skittered across the ground as he tried to form his attack from numb fingers.

From the nearby hot springs the older nin drew forth water and materialized a dragon, driving the rippling creation into Naruto’s charge, and stopping the genin in his tracks. He was smashed flat. Immediately on the heels came another fireball, a series of them one after the other, bombarding him. Won’t… watch her die! He thought through the physical anguish. A second tail crawled out from beneath the first as his second skin grew denser, hotter, bubbling more and more.

Sasuke threw what he could of his gathered lightning. The enemy shinobi flung a sword to intercept it in mid-air and took to collecting it again without ever touching the water flooding the area now, throwing his momentum toward Naruto in what would be a killing stroke.

And then the clang of adamantine shattered the lesser blade and flung that man back. The Hokage’s staff, soaring down from the sky, drove Naruto flat and smashed his consciousness black. Then it transformed. A great monkey, old and armored, took the place of the staff, one foot planted to Naruto’s head.

“Girl, take him and run. Run to your house and hide.”

Ino gathered what remained of her strength to stumble upright and over to her badly burned teammate laying in a filling crater. He stank of charred flesh and hair, tracksuit burned through in a dozen holes, and he felt so heavy she almost dropped him then and there. The monkey thrust a smaller staff from thin air toward her, and a diminutive clone helped take Naruto’s burden as they fled.

“I cannot allow you to interfere,” the enemy nin stated quietly.

“I’d like to see you try and stop me, boy,” the monkey answered. The next moment he was at the Uchiha’s throat, eyes gone behind a partial transformation.

[Rollin’ Shinobi 9]​

It was a day that lasted a week. A day that never seemed to end. And then, when it had, the village was in shambles, and the Hokage, though successful in driving away the brunt of the threat, had given his own life to see that victory through. Two of the enemy shinobi had been captured, and three more killed.

When Naruto awoke, it was to confusion, anger, crippling pain, and sadness. Ino and Kiba were there with him, in the hospital. Or what was left of it.

“Hey.”

“Oh thank kami, you’re awake.”

Naruto winched as she embraced him tight enough to make his ribs creak. “Don’t you ever be so stupid again!” she said the next moment, pulling back to glare at him through a row of tears.

Kiba sniffed the air and made a face. “Damn, still smells like fox in here.”

“I don’t… what happened?”

Both of his teammates exchanged unwary glances, and when they parted gazes it was to stare at the floor, downtrodden. “Sensei… Lord Hokage, that is… he’s dead.”

No. Naruto stopped breathing momentarily. “Whaddya mean the Old Man’s dead? He can’t be dead! He’s the Old Man!”

Kiba growled. “You idiot! You’ve been asleep for a week while we’ve had to sit here and lament his passing by ourselves! The whole village is in an uproar over the attack and his passing to put a stop to it, with the other ‘kages. So shuddup.”

Naruto struggled to roll out of bed and collapsed instead on his side, gasping. “He can’t.. he can’t have died, we’re his students… we’re supposed to learn more.. supposed to… supposed to earn his approval… for the Chuunin Exams…” a wave of tears blurred his vision and he fought through the pain to swipe at them angrily

“He died like the Fourth.” Another voice broke in softly. The three of them turned to look at the man walking in, the jounin from some time earlier in the month. The man who had been there, instead of the Hokage, to tell them that they had not been nominated. They hadn’t even had the chance to formally, as a team, say goodbye to the Hokage. He hadn’t had the time to speak to them.

But what set Naruto off was seeing the man wearing the Hokage’s hat.

Naruto screamed and ranted at him for several seconds until his breath ran out, then, gasping down another scorched lungful, he began anew. The man bore the outpouring of grief, rage, and anguish, until, at last, Naruto finished with, “-so don’t you come in here wearing that hat and making mockery of our sensei again!”

Ino was staring at him agape, horrified, and Kiba wide-eyed. Then the Inuzaka broke out in a fit of rough laughter. “Holy crap, you’re gonna be in it deep after this.”

“Are you through?” Naruto could only glare at the man, ignoring his teammates’ reactions. “Good. Starting today I am taking over as your team sensei. The Third knew what he was doing when he picked you three for his last team.”

“Who the hell’re you?”

“Godaime Hokage Hatake Kakashi. I’ll expect a shrivel more respect than this going forward, but I’ll give you all time to grieve and heal before enforcing that. Particularly you, Naruto.”

Despite how it pained him, Naruto grit his teeth and sat up, and reached over to the table to draw his tanto. “The Third had this made just for me. For all of us.” He pointed at the others’ nearby short swords hanging off their bodies. “Unless you’re taking up his pipe too, you’ll need something--”

The Fifth produced a moonlight white sword of his own. “--like this,” he finished for the genin. “You’ll find that I am just as well-versed in kenjutsu as any man still alive in the Land of Fire.”

Naruto scowled.

“We’re holding the funeral in one more week. Rest up enough and you can attend it with the rest of Team Sarutobi, Naruto.”

END…?


(5 2 1 5 3 1(reroll, 4) 6 6 3)

EDIT: Fixing all the formatting errors that cropped up between copying from gdocs. Clocks in at just over 4200 words. Hope this was entertaining enough.
​

 

So I got 4,3,3,2,5,4,4,4,2
Team mates: Sasuke and Hinata
Sensei: Asuma
Specializing in Genjustu
First mission is in Wave country and Body guarding
Chuunin exam: Hard Suna. Written test, Survival in the Desert, Battle Royale.
Host village is invaded by Orochimaru and the 5th homage is Danzo

I guess I'm going to write a plot synopsis or something and then write a scene.

Title:Reflection in the Shadows

Naruto having been ridiculed and beaten by the villagers has become specialized in stealth and emotionally shuts himself off from the world, he reads a fair amount of escapist fantasy when he's not at the academy or training on his own (trains 2-3hours a day on his own to keep up with the rest of the class in techniques). The seal for the Kyuubi is altered in that while the chakra is being absorbed in with his his body is absorbing it making his muscles, organs(chakra producing ones), nerves, and brain stronger, faster, and able to produce purer chakra. He does have larger reserves of chakra than others but not the abnormally large ones that he has in canon and he still has the healing ability. He graduates the third time without failing and Mizuki goes and tricks Sasuke into stealing the scroll saying it'll help him learn a technique to counter the sharingon, Anbu catch Mizuki as he reveals to Sasuke that Danzo was responsible for Itachi's betrayal.

Team selection is randomized this time to make team specialities harder to predict by the enemies as a new counter intelligence initiative. Sasuke, Hinata, and Naruto are drawn by Asuma.

Asuma decides against to do the bell test and instead gives them a quest where they must kill three chakra beasts simultaneously (otherwise they'll reform) in order to see if they can work together as he believes bonds formed in battle are stronger. After much bickering Sasuke works together with Naruto and Hinata.

Due to Naruto's shut off personality Hinata does not have a crazy infatuation with him, has low self-esteem, and is terrible at close quarters. She does have very acute eyes in her clan and has a good knowledge of the body. Asuma trains her as a support-rebuff specialist with making debilitating but non-lethal poisons to inhibit enemies movements to compliment her gentle fist.

Sasuke learning that Danzo was responsible for Itachi's actions realizes he can't just be an avenger and brute force his way through things like Danzo who hides in the shadows and starts down a stealth assassin path after he gets the Sharingon he copies others techniques to frame them for the people he kills.

Naruto starts as stealth/assualt but moves towards genjustu/assault as he sees there being more benefit in hiding from people by tricking their senses and it can be used more for the team.

Asuma trains the teamwork in Naruto laying light genjutsu's over the enemies for both Hinata's poison (hiding senbons and messing with their sense of touch) for capture missions and Sasuke's assassination techniques. With Naruto being able to switch to assault when the number of enemies are large.
Missions are expanded F to SS with Genin being able to do F (which is walking the dogs and chopping wood) to D rank missions (which is weak monster extermination in the forests surrounding the village).

Chakra monsters are a big problem with animals being innately able to cultivate and use chakra high ranked chakra monsters and summoned chakra animal tribes can talk and have human intelligence.

The first big mission comes when Team 8 joins a multi team escort mission for a high wave lords daughter who was visiting the Fire nation for a trade meeting. Things go awry when they're crossing a mountain and a High ranking Chakra monster ape catches sight of the High lords daughter and wants her (because cliche) Most of the escort is wiped out which is some freelancers from the mist rebellion side and non ninja mercenaries. Team 8 takes the daughter (I'm just going to call her Prop A from now on) and hides in the woods as they play a dangerous game of cat and mouse from the Ape lord for a week they found the deep cave systems after half a day and move around while learning wall climbing. As they exit the cave they're trapped by the Ape lord and forced to fight him and his minions. Naruto's Kyuubi activates when his teammates have been knocked out and he's on the verge of death and just demolishes the minions while Asuma fights and kills the Ape lord. At the end of the fight both Hinata and Sasuke briefly see the kyuubi's chakra emanating from Naruto's body which awakens Sasukes first tomoe sharingon. Asuma kills the Ape lord and they get Prop A home safely and get the bounty on the Ape lord.
Instead of a 4 month skip to the Chuunin exams we get a couple of chapters with Team 8 doing missions where they're capturing chakra animals in the woods and getting a few techniques and power ups.

Exam time Team 8 and co. travel to Suna and are ambushed by some Iwa Sleepers made by Orochimaru in a passing village, after barely making it in time for the exams and tension with Iwa being high.

The Written exam is done in singular cubicles and everyone is injected with a slow acting poison, the antidote is made by deciphering the recipe in the correct answers for the exam. The time limit for the poison is 30minutes otherwise they'll be paralyzed for life unless they forfeit and opt out of the exam. The way to pass is to not be paralyzed after 30 minutes, Hinata and Sasuke figure out the antidote, Naruto makes the wrong antidote but the kyuubi's chakra filters the poison out so they pass.

The Dessert Survival is seven days and teams need to get ears of Chakra monsters from the dessert, the more powerful the monster the more points it's worth, top four teams advance. During the Survival part ninja from the village hidden in the clouds try to abduct Hinata In order to split the team up, Orochimaru takes this opportunity to place the curse mark on Sasuke and the Ino Kiba Sakura team helps Naruto find and save Hinata, taking the ears from the cloud teams. Team 8, Team 9 (Ino Kiba Sakura), The sand trio, and the sound village team pass and move to the final round a team Battle Royal.

In the month of training Naruto learns how to anchor genjutsu to objects from Kurenia and signs the Chameleon summoning contract.

Team Battle Royal time, everyone is pumped, Team 8 is poised to win when Oto Attacks Suna, Iwa Attacks Konoha, and Cloud attacks mist sparking the 5th shinobi war. The Kages enter a battle royal of their own while Sunakagure becomes engulfed in flame and blood from the Battle. Naruto learns he's the kyuubi container and takes down a berserk gaara.
The third homage dies along with a few of the council members. With the war starting Danzo makes a power grab and gets Naruto under high surveillance making him a virtual prisoner in the village. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata make a combo Genjutsu which lays a Geas over the village and flee swearing to come back one day and free the village from Danzo and end the war ending part one.

I'll write the scene later as I'm tired.

 

5 2 5 3 3 2 3 1 3: rolled using Python's random.randrange(1,7)
Ino, Naruto, and Kiba are trained by Kurenai.
Specialise in Taijutsu.
Diplomacy mission near Iwa.
Ino dies in the Kumo Chūnin exams.
Kakashi is Godaime Hokage.

Ino, Naruto, and Kiba are trained by Kurenai, in team 8. Naruto, after a fateful encounter with the Green Beast when he was eight, has abandoned Ninjutsu in favour of Taijutsu. He still wears the same orange jacket and pants he wears in canon, though.

Team 8's first mission is a diplomatic mission near Iwa. It's a success, but only because Kurenai applied genjutsu to Kiba and Naruto to keep them from talking.

Emboldened by this success, Kurenai applies her team to the Chūnin exams, which are hosted this year in Kumo. The team survives the mountain of death, and makes it to the tournament, as there were no preliminaries this time. Which is unfortunate, because Ino might not have had to fight Gaara in the first round otherwise.

Four teams of three made it to the tournament. As the third round has three people, it is a mêlée à trois. Naruto, Gaara, and Omoi. (Sasuke lost in the first round to a snake summoning fuinjutsu user from Sound.) Naruto unleashes the Kyūbi, at the beginning in anger, then in self-preservation against the Ichibi. Angry at the use of jinchūriki on his village, A declares war on Sand and Leaf. The war ends a month later, after Sarutobi uses a suicide technique to defeat A and B, along with a good portion of the Kumo army. Before dying, he declares Kakashi his successor.


I probably won't be writing this up as a full story.