Yeah The four deadly secrets story is really quite good. The characterizations simply work and the interaction between is also great.

4,5/5

 

Really? Nothing wrong with the characterization, but it wasn't really top notch. No central driving plot, but several subplots sorta mashed together. I mean, don't get me wrong, the story is elegantly crafted and I really like the idea.

It's just that is gets really fucking petty to read about a bunch of girls and their secrets when they've got huuuuuge amounts of monsters and a terrorist organisation to thwart.

I'd probably put it at 3.5/5.

 

Gonna have to second Zodiac with a 4/5. The writing is solid and the action is good, but the writer makes some odd choices that I don't agree with.

Parts of the fic jump forward and backwards in time, which works well for some longer sections when we get a lot of context and information (like Blake's backstory section) , but feels a bit disorienting when they're just little snippets of conversation. This may be intentional by the author or the snippets may all fit together well as the story progresses and more info is revealed, but for now its a malus in my book.

The author pushes the panty-shot humor a bit too much. It helps lighten the atmosphere where it is used but it feels a bit lazy the way its accepted as a central part of the fic, with characters commenting on it and such. It remains consistently funny but just comes off as bit tacky and harem anime-ish.

What is does right, however, it does extremely well. The worldbuilding is extremely good and very original, probably being the single biggest draw of the fic. Seeing the way the author handles making every character a Faunus and equating the Faunus with the Zodiac and Chinese folklore keeps me interested through some of the boring parts. Characters' Faunus traits give everyone a bit of a twist but they're almost all still faithful to their canon personas with the exception of maybe two or three minor characters who play bigger roles in this fic.

Jaune's characterization is acceptable. He's still fairly flat without much change from canon, but trying to hide his nature from everyone around him makes much more interesting even if it doesn't actually effect his personality. His antics are a bit anime-esque as mentioned before and give a sort of Black Hole Sue aspect to him where people and events tend to rotate around him a bit unrealistically, but its not a major problem despite this.

Would be a 3/5 if not for how interesting the world building is and how good character interactions are with the AU twists, which bumps it up to 4/5 from me.

 

Loved Four Deadly Secrets so much I recommended it for the library.

Had a few updates of Zodiac and I really feel like the little flashbacks and bits of back story we get are absolutely amazing, while Jaune's story through Beacon is actually pretty mediocre. Wish we could have an entire prequel story focusing on the war. Hell, just Blake's story would be amazing.

Spoiler

I really loved her flashback chapter - her family's rejection of her, her new found family with Jaune and Roman, and finally how everything went wrong.

 

A new Pet Peeve just for RWBY fanfics:

Just reading a reasonably popular RWBY fanfic; Fang's Embrace and fuck there is no conflict! Weiss doesn't have any prejudices against faunus and she gets along smashingly from the start with RWBY.

It's boring as fuck. There is nothing in the story that will drive the characters to grow and change. They're just static.

---------- Post automerged at 22:20 ---------- Previous post was at 22:19 ----------

I'll take a look at Four Deadly Secrets in a second.

 

Soulbound is getting a sequel.

Here is the first chapter of Soul's Reflection

Chapter one was okay, if a bit, well, not boring, but lack of excitement since it was mostly a retelling of the first episodes with only minor changes. That said, still engagingly written and the author did say that it was pretty much a warm-up, so, have high hopes for the rest.

 

Thanks for the recommend Nemrut, Jarik, and everyone who offered feedback on Four Deadly Secrets, I'm much obliged. Glad that last chapter was well received!

... and yes, the summary still needs work.

Was actually stunned to realise that Remnant's Reclaimer's author was the same one that did Sunflower General (up until he apparently got his account nicked). He's made massive strides in his ability to write from those early steps.

 

I'm the complete opposite of you, while I can't stand Jaune as a character, he's about the only MC in RWBY I can stand as a focus of a fic.

 

It's not that Jaune is a bad choice for main character. It's the fact that he becomes a self-insert. Which sucks. Welcome to DLP OneirosTheWriter.

Is it just me, or should we have some kind of RWBY prompt thing going on?

 

First, welcome from me as well, Oneiros, hope you like it here.
Zeelthor: you mean, like on spacebattles? I wouldn't be against it, would even have a few things to share but I am not sure we would have enough people participating to warrant a thread for it. Not sure what the procedure is, but I personally wouldn't mind if people posted those in this thread.

Speaking of Jaune, Professor Arc has been updated again. It was decent enough, about as expected from a story such as that. Only thing that really confuses me is the coffee subplot.

Why do the teachers keep this super coffee a secret from Glynda? Seems to be a dick-move to exclude her. I could understand why they keep it for staff only and not the students but to keep her from drinking it, just seems petty and mean. Is it leading up to something like the coffee being made out of hard drugs or something? What could possibly justify that?

What, women or stern people don't drink coffee?

I know this is mainly a humour piece but the whole coffee subplot is just bizarre.

 

Perhaps we could keep the discussion here, then?

 

Haven't had a chance to read the story yet, but... Potentially they're terrified about how Glynda's personality on weapon's grade coffee would turn out? Least easy-going character on the show by a comfortable margin, after all.

 

Or she already tried it before and they decided they didn't want a repeat of said experience and told her they don't have that coffee anymore.

 

http://archiveofourown.org/users/Xekstrin/pseuds/Xekstrin

This author deserves mentioning. Some kinda weird stories, maybe, but the grasp of character is pretty good in most.

 

Just read this, and you hit the nail on the head, Jarik. This fic has no idea what it is, and neither do I, but I'd say 30% of it is really enjoyable. There are constant yet subtle Archer and Bob's Burgers references that I freaking loved. The smut is, well, middle of the road, as smut goes. It's kind of randomly applied, too. It's all innuendo and meaningful looks and over-the-top banter and then suddenly Weiss is flicking the bean in front of the other three girls. I mean, whatever. This is really just a "take the brain off the hook and roll with it" fic, but in that respect, it works fine.

 

From memory, doesn't that author have a serious penchant for Enabler (Ruby/Yang) shipping?

 

Hence my warning.

And as Newcomb said... The story has no idea what it wants to be and flicks back and forth. There's too much build up and not enough climax, almost literally, and I'd say the smut is shoved back a little too far into the story. It would probbaly have benefited from some minor scenes in the middle.

All in all, though, it's cute and brainless fun.

 

Does anyone know of any decent HP/RWBY crossovers? I can't find a single one despite the great amount of potential for such a crossover.

 

Explain.

I'm obviously a huge HP fan, and I've been on a bit of a RWBY kick lately, and I don't really see it. I'm trying to fit them together in my head, stylistically, and it's not working. Hermione joins a faunus rights organization? What are we talking about here?

 

Yeah, I can't see a great synergy there. The abilities of the two settings share almost nothing in common and the characters don't really mesh either.