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Sanity is Fleeting But I'll Live Forever by Jenkins

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Jenkins, Jun 26, 2008.

3.2999999523163/5, 10 votes
  1. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Jun 26, 2008 #1
    Ok, this is just here because I think we're making a review thread here for WbA reviews? That's what I thought anyhow.


    Title: Sanity is Fleeting But I'll Live Forever
    Author: Jenkins (Me)
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Adventure/General
    DLP Category: Independent?
    Pairing: Harry/Fleur
    Status: WiP
    Summary: After an assault on privet Drive, Harry is taken captive by Voldemort's forces and driven to insanity. With the help of a Mind Magics professional, Harry walks the fine line between sanity and insanity following his urge to gain revenge and destroy Voldemort.
    Link: DLP
    FF.Net

    I hope I did this right...

    EDIT: For the new, unbeta'd chapter go to WbA link.
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2008
  2. SKsniper128

    SKsniper128 Fifth Year

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    Jun 26, 2008 #2
    Psst.... the format, do it in proper format.

    Quickly, before the other tear you a new one!
     
  3. Othalan

    Othalan Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Jun 26, 2008 #3
    Well, I really like this one. One of the best Insane!Harry characterizations I've seen. He's quite obviously fucked in the head, but not completely over the top like some authors tend to make him. Well written, and with a decent plot.

    So far, 4.5/5.
     
  4. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

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    Jun 27, 2008 #4
    I can quite honestly say I have no idea what to think about this story as of yet. Need much more to figure this one out. I did like that the Dursley's died in a car crash. Too bad Vernon wasn't drunk.

    ?/5 for now.
     
  5. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Jun 27, 2008 #5
    o.o

    The format made me want to kill you the first time I read it. This is DLP fucker. Adhere to the fucking standards or get the fuck out.

    I have no further critic of the story.

    MY BALLS! THEY CLINK!

    CLINK CLINK CLINK!
     
  6. SKsniper128

    SKsniper128 Fifth Year

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    Jun 27, 2008 #6
    What the fuck?
     
  7. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Jun 27, 2008 #7
    You da man Jenks. I do think you repeat the whole 'harden the fuck up' message a bit though.
     
  8. dragon_89

    dragon_89 Squib

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    Jun 27, 2008 #8
    I quite like this....:) just yeah...the format ;p 3.5/5
     
  9. Lord Boufniak

    Lord Boufniak Squib

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    Jun 27, 2008 #9
    So far, this is pretty good. The flashback in the first chapter was a little hard to get through, but the rest isn't bad. 3 out of 5 for the moment.
     
  10. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #10
    This was all right. Not great, though. It just seems a bit "rushed" to me, especially that last chapter (5), I can't really get into it. It's interesting, I guess, I just don't see what's so original about it. I'll keep an eye on it for now, but I hope it improves - there's some potential there.

    3/5
    -J
     
  11. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #11
    Uh what? Why would he do that, inside his prison cell no less? He could've used it to help escape.
     
  12. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #12
    Because he's insane? He, apparently, didn't think of himself as escaping and just saw it as a way to piss off Malfoy.

    Well thats how I saw it anyway.
     
  13. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #13
    Fail.

    Because he's an insane whackjob maybe?

    EDIT: Not maybe Lincos, definitely. Questions already been asked.
     
  14. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #14
    The entire story is too rushed. Especially chapter 5. It needs to slow down. 3/5
     
  15. Feoffic

    Feoffic Alchemist DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #15
    And get toned down, Harry comes off more as being exceptionally stupid rather than insane.
     
  16. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Jun 29, 2008 #16
    Thanks for the reviews. I've been planning a re-write since I finished chapter 2 (or just planned to scrap it) and now I think I definitely have to go back and change a lot around.

    The problem is, I'm finding it hard to focus on Harry and still keep a good long pace with it (The reason I placed those chapters which weren't focused on Harry in, plus they provide certain plot elements). If anyone has any suggestions it'd be greatly appreciated.

    On Harry's character, right now I'm starting to show his insanity as just a hyped up version of Luna. The darker side of his insanity was to come later and I dropped a hint or two as to what would happen. How do people feel about the potrayal of crazy!Harry in particular?

    Again, thanks for the reviews. By the way, can anyone give me pointers on how to use the review feature of Microsoft Word? I'm kinda lost on it and my awesome beta used it. Unfortunately I can't go on IRC and ask around.

    Thanks for whatever help you guys can give. Now excuse me while I go to some of the earlier intro threads and see whose I can find.
     
  17. Inziladun

    Inziladun First Year

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    Jul 19, 2008 #17
    In the beginning he is speaking to himself about whats going to do to Bellatrix and Voldemort, but when the moment come he fires a stupefy and Bella gets him; they torture him, but there is not really a big scene of torture in which he resists and fights with insults an such, so the getting crazy thing seems too fast.

    And the worst, even if it really amazes me that the escape plan works, is when he has Malfoy's wand and breaks it... seems stupid, not crazy, he could have just as easily used the intact wand, which could have been broken then, and not by his stupidity.

    Well, it is still soon to know if I'll like it, a crazy Harry can do some things that I' would like cannon Harry to do but we all know what a pansy he is, so I'll stick around to se what your Harry does.