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WIP Shinobi: Team 7 by Gallyrat - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Feoffic, Feb 5, 2015.

  1. ahiorth

    ahiorth Squib

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    There was just to much Sakura for me to like this story.
     
  2. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    I actually quite liked the story. For one, I don't find it sinful that Sakura was not executed in chapter one and was instead given a character arc of growth that plays into her strengths, which will keep her from becoming irrelevant once Sasuke and Naruto bullshit their way into godlike powers.

    On the other, after ten years of Naruto fanfiction, novelty is the most precious commodity that I'm looking for in Naruto fanfics, and I quite like this refreshing take on the Hidden Villages and its history, what with having 8 Kage through their time instead of 4.

    The takes on the characters is pretty solid, sure they feel off, at times, like Kakashi but it still works within this story and the humour worked for me for the most part. Got a few laughs.

    Danzo's role is interesting, and I like everyone in Team 7.

    That said, it has its flaws, like the whole Naruto meets Asuma and Kurenai arc was just bizarre in how that worked, they meet once out of coincidence and suddenly, for absolutely no reason, they are this close?

    The world-building is a bit awkward at times and Team 7 does run a bit too smoothly, but yeah, more goods than bads for me.

    So, yeah, writing is solid, like the characters so far, who, while not excellent, still work and there is a lot of fresh ideas and plot threads that I am interested in.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
  3. Hw597

    Hw597 Seventh Year

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    Definitely deserves a spot in the library imo. Its an ambitious overhall of nearly every aspect of the Naruto world. At some points I think the delivery is a little clumsy but overall it works.

    The story would have a bit more popuarity if Naruto was a bit more "awesome" but I am confident that will come in time.

    4/5- And refreshingly different than the same rehashes we endlessly see in the Naruto fics
     
  4. Kravot

    Kravot Fourth Year

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    Gallyrat just started a quest based on this fic. While I'm glad to see a quest based on his awesome world building, I'm kinda bummed that he apparently abandoned the original fic. By his words in the quest thread he found the story getting too messy.

    Link
     
  5. fire

    fire Order Member

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    Fuck i hope not
     
  6. VanRopen

    VanRopen Headmaster

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    "You caught me. I really liked the world I had created but found the story getting messy and so decided to give it some new life over here."


    F U C K


    I will of course be following, but goddammit.
     
  7. cooladoola

    cooladoola Second Year

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    Rather drab and uninspiring two first chapters. Also, if it's too Sakura-centric, and Sasuke is being shafted (as some of the comments suggest), then I might as well just avoid it. So far, 1.5/5 or 2/5.
     
  8. Verse of Darkness

    Verse of Darkness Denarii Host

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  9. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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    Shinobi: Team 7 has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 20
    Words: 120,736
    Updated: 2020-09-22 21:44:32 UTC
    Published: 2013-04-30 15:14:20 UTC
    Previously updated: over 4 years ago
    New Summary:
    There's a saying, amongst the men and women of the Land of Fire: You can be a hero, or you can be a Shinobi. There's a response, amongst the men and woman of Team 7: Fuck that. AU.

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  10. aAlouda

    aAlouda High Inquisitor

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  11. HPFicFan

    HPFicFan First Year

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    I remember reading the original and quitting midway through because of the author's insistence on driving home the point that Naruto is average. It seems the sequel will continue in the same vein based on the first chapter.

    Edit: Re-read it just now. The author has presented Naruto as doing poorly in his Genin career due to the absence of any personal guidance in ninja techniques. Cue Sakura, who begins teaching Naruto about clnes (and somehow he ends up learning all 5 elemental clones + the yin clone in a few monts where he could not even manage to master a single wind release technique on his own in years). It seems a bit jarring, to credit Naruto's development entirely on Sakura's skills as a teacher. Nonetheless, this was better written that the original. I sincerely hope the author doesn't go about using the memory erasure hax at the drop of a hat every time again.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2020
  12. aAlouda

    aAlouda High Inquisitor

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    Naruto wasn't average and wasn't potrayed as such, he literally killed Kakuzu as a genin. He like in canon just had horrible chakra control at the beginning, but worked on it with Mizuki to improve himself. During confrontations with other Genin outside of Team 7 we also see how strong he is.

    Even this chapter shows that personal instructions is just what Naruto needs to become strong.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2020
  13. VanRopen

    VanRopen Headmaster

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    What? The entire chapter was about how Naruto isn’t shit, the system was failing him. In the end he’s succeeding despite that.


    The opening sequence is as good as it was in the old fic, with the few rough spots addressed (a much better fuck up for the Fifth Hokage than the affair thing in the old version). The rest of the chapter in the present day is solid, so looking forward to the reboot.
     
  14. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Honestly, the first chapter was mostly redo of one of the original fics interlude - but the part that wasn't kinda fucking slapped. Looking forward to more.
     
  15. fire

    fire Order Member

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    Loved it like an addict loves cocaine. More.
     
  16. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Born Weapons updated.

    The slap train is an express it seems. Excellent characterization of Sasuke and unification of Team Seven, as well as the twist at the end. Really interested to see if Gallyrat can keep this quality up.
     
  17. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

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    This new version is solid so far. I never did read the original, but some of the concepts I've seen mentioned in the previous page are things that would probably make me drop if they showed up again here. So I hope they don't.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2020
  18. GravityAP

    GravityAP First Year

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    i think this new story will be really interesting that being said I'm really not a big fan of chapter 3. But well see in a couple days how the author truly deals with it, I am looking forward to the kakashi pov that is likely coming in chapter 4 though.

    Just thought about something. Why does the Namikaze clan exist, especially if Naruto isn't part of it? In the first chapter it said Minato came from nothing, yet here we are with a clan with the reason it is now a clan's son just ignored.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2020
  19. aAlouda

    aAlouda High Inquisitor

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    The Namikaze Clan were explained last chapter to have bcome a Shinobi Clan after Minato became Hokage, and they seem to exist to show that new Shinobi Clans can be founded, like what Naruto is going to do now.

    As for Naruto not being part of it, I dont think we can be sure that Naruto is Minato's son or the host of the Ninetails for that matter. There certainly has bern no indication that the village leadership thinks he's special in any way.
     
  20. GravityAP

    GravityAP First Year

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    That's actually a decent point, I don't remember the plot of the last one enough to know if they keep his lineage canon. He's still Uzumaki for sure but who his father is could end up being a tension point in the future, he does still have yellow hair. I don't think the village leadership not treating him as special really holds any weight, he wasn't given much special treatment at the beginning of canon either. They could be trying to force him to grow through adversity or something, which is going to pay off once he invents shadow clones, and the author could just be using the "Naruto needs to be protected from Minato's enemies schtick" that was used in canon though I think it fits in this AU even less than it did in canon.
     
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