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Oneshot Sisyphus by esama - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Jeram, Feb 22, 2010.

  1. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: Sisyphus
    Author: esame
    Rating: T
    Genre: Mystery/Horror
    DLP Category: Travel
    Pairing: N/A
    Words: 5894 (ff.net); 5607 (AO3)
    Published: February 21, 2010 (ff.net); January 1, 2014 (AO3)

    Status: Oneshot
    Summary: Harry gets another chance - and another and another. At some point, they stop feeling like chances at all. Morbid and slightly dark take on the Second Chance plotline.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5764665/1/Sisyphus
    Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113651
    Link (zip archive of Esama's works): https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92776639/Esama.ZIP


    So I've read some of esama's work before and it's okay. But I was pointed in this direction and I really like this oneshot. There are a few typos here and there, but nothing too bad. Without giving anything away, it's a Groundhog Day variant story that is the dark mirror of the style, closer to the original movie script, if anyone's familiar. Obviously there's a Greek mythological reference there too.

    Quite recommended.

    4/5


    Checked by Minion, September 29, 2014
    Esama reposted her stories on AO3. Thanks to Ayreon for the info.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2014
  2. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    The infinite lives loop thing has been done before, but has never been taken in this direction. I say 4/5. Better than Silver Pard's Eternal Return, which has a similar concept and execution.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
  3. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

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    Very apt name for this fic, you practically feel all this endless and pointless struggle.

    4/5
     
  4. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    It is alright. I've seen a large amounts of of these unlimited time travels or just being unable to die to say this one is anything great. It always ends up being how pointless life is, and if you are looking for one of these fictions, the Naruto one is better. I need to remember what the name is of the Naruto one though... hmmmm.

    Rating if X=(2) for (3^x+9x-x^4)/4
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2010
  5. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    Twenty Times Uzumaki Naruto Didn't Die By Kraken's Ghost?

    I know it's on the forums here somewhere.

    Btw, I liked this. Anything with this kind of theme catches my eye.
     
  6. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Huh. The last few paragraphs kind of ruined it for me. Not because of the H/G, but to me there is a contradiction in how prior to that paragraph he states that the only child he saw born was to the 5th year girl, yet when he marries and spawns with Ginny he is living his life "like it was a pre-written play." To me that says he already did the H/G life thing previously.

    The biggest flaw to me however is the state of the story. I believe every story where a character is trapped in a time-loop with no known reason will lead to insanity/depression. I'm pretty sure Bill Murray went through this stage in Groundhog Day as well. Since Harry doesn't know why he's trapped - and the story never progresses to that point - the "dark" tone of the story seems practically obligatory. Hell, it would make for a much more interesting story where Harry embraces the redundancy and does something creative.

    2/5
     
  7. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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  8. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I actually do enjoy the various Time Loops on TFF, especially the ones by Innortal. Hell, I really want his Harry raised by Ranma crossed over with Fey Courts from the Dresden Files ficlet to be expanded. It's nice light fair, which I get a lot more mileage out of than "woe is me I'm trapped in a never-ending time loop insert angst."
     
  9. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    Thing is, he does. Even if it's not explained well.

    The repeats just never end. Groundhogday ended when he did things right. Harry tried having fun, spent years trying.

    But Harry never gets a rest, the repeat never stops. Sure it has a bit of angst, but other stories actually let their characters exit the loop.

    You can only spend so much time doing whatever you want.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2010
  10. funkytoad

    funkytoad Fifth Year

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  11. Bukay

    Bukay Professor DLP Supporter

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    The idea itself is good enough, yet the execution was lacking... if it was betaed it might have been better...

    Even though I like this kind of fics it is 3/5
     
  12. MellowYellow

    MellowYellow Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    I just like the fact that somebody ended an endless time loop story.
    4/5
     
  13. Pyromaniac

    Pyromaniac Third Year

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    Ended?

    He dies without getting the answer to the only question he has left. Why.

    And everything starts again.
     
  14. pdo91

    pdo91 Professor DLP Supporter

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    I think he meant the story itself. As far as I can recall, it's the only readable one that's actually finished. I think that makes up for some of the questionable grammar, so I'll give it a 3.5/5 - I liked it, but it wasn't great.
     
  15. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Pretty interesting one-shot. Despite the typos (and there are a lot), the atmosphere was done nearly perfectly. I really could feel Harry's disenchantment with the do-overs.

    4/5
     
  16. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I would have preferred it were it more rational.

    It's an interesting premise, but my suspension of disbelief is broken when Harry has exceeded Voldemort level of skill but still loses over and over again. By that time he should have just been able to power through everything, won the war within a week of Hagrid's visit.

    Instead the author tries to come up with some bullshit "he's really fucking unlucky" thing going on, but as a reader I just don't buy into it.

    Further, the whole "really unlucky" thing turned out to be redundant at the end anyway, because finally he did beat Voldemort - but in the most retarded way possible. The only way for him to win is to do it badly? Yeah, no. Arrive, take out horcruxes, win. Done. And what's this shit about not being able to ever get out of the country? Apparate.

    The whole thing just stinks. The author chucked all semblance of coherence or rationality out of the window to achieve a thematic point - but in the end, this lack of coherence undoes the point the author was trying to make. You can't make a story about the inevitability of your fate when everything about the story suggests that it should be avoidable, and that said inevitability has simply been "soldered on" to the story by a lazy author.

    Finally, given that Harry knows "all the magic in Hogwarts library" and given that he's surpassed Voldemort, the world is (or should be) now his oyster. Living his life over and over again, given his abilities, wouldn't feel like living the same life over and over again at all, because each life he could give himself a whole new variety of experiences. Not in 1000 lives could you exhaust everything there is to do with a life, never mind a life of someone with effectively godlike power.

    It's not really the same as Groundhog day at all. Living the same day over and over would be maddening, but the same life over and over? A life that would be over 100 years long? You can achieve meaningful things in that kind of "life loop" (as meaningful as any non-looping person can achieve - sure, Harry's achievements will be nothing beyond memories once he loops, but this is still more meaningful than a normal person's achievements, which aren't even memories - because they're dead) and certainly you can have enjoyable, new experiences. You can enjoy meaningful relationships with people (again, as meaningful as any normal person's relationships, which are just as fleeting - if not more so). The key is that there is time for events to significantly diverge.

    Finally, far too much tell, nowhere near enough show.

    TL;DR: an interesting concept ruined by absolutely terrible execution. Pretty much like all of esama's stories.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2010
  17. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

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    Heh. My impression is that he lived his 1st live as canon states and that imprinted some sort of path/installed some parameters he must follow. Or that every human have a predetermined path in their lives. And one of the points of all pointlessness is that it doesn't matter how powerful is he, how much knowledge/skill he has - the fate itself kills him if he deviates too strongly from his supposed path.
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    As I say, he (she?) tries to make a point about the inevitability of fate, but in the end it just feels like the inevitability of poorly-rationalised authorial stipulation in fanfic. That is to say, from an in-world perspective, the story lacks coherence. It only makes sense if you rationalise events in terms of the author's desire to make a point.
     
  19. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I think you've convinced me. I'm dropping my rating to 3/5.
     
  20. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

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    I'm in two minds about this. It's a clever idea, but it was so...passionless, I think is the best way to describe it. I never felt anything for Harry. And perhaps it's because I read this thread before reading the fic, but I did find myself going "Why does he die here?" That said, I can't in all honesty say I didn't like it, and I'm not sure why. No real complaints about the writing though, and it is a nice idea.

    3/5
     
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