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Abandoned Space Haven - Stargate - esama - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by lucis, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2009
    Messages:
    291
    Title: Space Haven
    Author: esama
    Genre: Adventure/General (Stargate Crossover)
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: Canon pairings mentioned in passing
    Stats AO3:
    Words: 140,244
    Chapters: 8
    Published: December 25, 2014

    Stats ff.net:
    Chapters: 9
    Words: 148,163
    Updated: July 14, 2011

    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Harry won a battle only to see that the war still continued. Now trapped inside Hogwarts with no way out, he and the others search for a place to make their final stand in. Thankfully they recieve little help from thousand years ago.
    Link ff.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5233108/1/Space_haven
    Link AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2849816
    Link (zip archive of Esama's works): https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92776639/Esama.ZIP


    So far, I like this more than esema's other stories. It reminds me of Dens Serpentis' Under Siege, somehow.



    Checked by Minion, February 8, 2015
    Esama reposted the story on AO3 but still labeled it as abandoned.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2015
  2. Kerrus

    Kerrus DA Member

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    Tentative 3/5- there's only three chapters, but the pacing is, while languid, fairly alright, and the concept is sound. I've not read all that's available yet, so rating is subject to change, but it is a lot better then I expected it to be.
     
  3. Datakim

    Datakim Chief Warlock

    Joined:
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    The basic idea was somewhat interesting however I was somewhat annoyed at the ease at which everything came to the wizards, and especially to Hermione.

    I mean the stuff in Atlantis is supposed to be based on science and extremely advanced technology. It may be advanced enough to be indistinguishable from magic in many ways, but it is NOT magic. So seeing Hermione, who has spent her life in Hogwarts and whose education of scientific and technological concepts ended in primary school so easily grasping all of this stuff stretched credibility to me and was somewhat mary-sueish.

    I think I would have liked the story more if rather than having everything go so easily and smoothly, the wizards would truly have had to struggle with concepts, ideas and technologies that were truly far beyond their comperehension. Not to mention face the possibility that "muggle-technology", which they had always been contemptuous of, really could do all of this.

    It would have made a more interesting story I think. I mean what challenge is there left now that they can power Atlantis so easily with unlimited energy from magic? Wraith? Replicators? Bah. I somehow don't want a story where the biggest challenge seems to be the fact that Centaurs don't have forests.

    2/5
     
  4. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Starting reading this now, but there's already one thing that's sending me crazy.

    It's "one thousand years" or "a thousand years". Not just "thousand years".

    And the same thing again!

    "Castle, not for warring, but for learning."

    A castle, dammit.

    Also, Merlin being able to know the future is rather contrived and unbelievable, even if he is an ex-ascended being.

    And again:

    " there were no skeletons or grime inside it, only circular indent where the basilisk had apparently slept over the centuries."

    A circular indent.

    Edit: Okay, I've finished the three chapters... other than the grammatical errors and the contrived beginning, the base idea is okay. However, the author has taken an interesting idea and seemed to make it rather boring. She focuses on all the wrong elements of the story, explaining all the vague mundaneness of life in excruciatingly slow-paced detail, dwelling on things that do nothing to further the plot.

    3/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2009
  5. AceOfSpades

    AceOfSpades Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

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    I agree with Taure but with a, IMO, weak-willed, rather boring and simple Harry Potter that doesn't even deserve to be called such by DLP standards it gets a 2/5 from me.
     
  6. Link

    Link Order Member DLP Supporter

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    It may not be the best HP/Stargate crossover, but I like it. What saved the story are, in my opinion, the very long chapters - but despite the 55k words, I think it's too early to judge the story.

    3.5/5.
     
  7. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Updated today.

    I ended up skimming most of the chapter. There's nothing here worth reading.
     
  8. Inziladun

    Inziladun First Year

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    It shouldn't be so easy to understand how that technology works, they might be able to know which button does what, but knowing enough about its working to be able to create an alternate source of energy should be difficult. They should have tried to get a new power input, maybe by sending Harry (for the sake of Harry-centric and because Harry's wand seems to work better than anyone's) to steal one, because trying to get it by pacific means might lead them to nowhere and they should prefer to stay invisible.

    I'm also concerned about Harry's role in this fic, being leader might not be the best seeing he is still young, but I'm not sure being a psychologist is going to be that great, sure its going to make him popular but popular and pussy Harry is no fun, I hope there is some other role reserved to him more action-filled.

    Right now the wizards are establishing in Atlantis, I suppose that when they are more prepared to deal with this galaxy there'll be more action, so I'll rate when there's more.

    By the way, the author's name is esama, not esema.
     
  9. AntiChrist

    AntiChrist Professor

    Joined:
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    Honestly, this was the first stargate crossover I've ever read and I really enjoyed it. Sure it's a little slow and there isn't much action yet, but I'm sure it'll pick up eventually. 4/5
     
  10. Gingernut5000

    Gingernut5000 Muggle

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Messages:
    3
    I’ve just read the latest chapter and in an effort to contribute to the DLP community I’m throwing in my two Knuts. However I’m taking the lazy man’s approach by slightly editing my review of the fic and posting it here.
    ------



    How can you build a house without a solid foundation? You can’t or rather you can but at some point it is going to collapse under its own weight.

    I’ve read some of the criticisms of the fic and most of the complaints can be summed up as: “Five chapters in and it’s a glorified prologue. There’s no adventure, hardship or actual plot. God Damn gardening is more of a priority to the explosions and smut I’m used to reading.”**1

    I’ll agree that the Merlin Stargate was contrived and a bit silly... but honestly so are most of the devices used to create crossovers. At least it’s a step up from the ‘Glowing Portal of Indeterminate Origin’, ‘Super Spell/Ritual’ or ‘Veil of Death-but-actually-wasn’t’. I’ll be honest with you here I normally skim the introduction to crossovers anyway so it’s no real lose.

    So by now you’re probably wondering if this is a flame... well... err... no. Actually I really enjoy this fic. To put this in perspective I’ll use two popular movie references. I enjoyed Men in Black until near the end. I enjoyed the introduction to the new world and the small details involved in creating and training the new agent.... the kicking of ass that ensued as a result not as much.

    Everyone enjoyed the Dark Knight. Some may have enjoyed it because it was all dark and edgy etc. I enjoyed it for altogether different reasons. Batman is going to win and survive as long as there is a sequel to make and a franchise to market... so feck all suspense there. I enjoyed the creation of the character, the growth of his organisation and the knowledge that I was watching the birth of a legacy.

    My choice in novels (books not fanfiction) reflects my interest in the creation and evolution of fictional societies. I like the small details as it all sets the foundation of what is to be built upon. You could easily spend the entire fic explaining the new Atlantis’ birth and end it when they become a completely stable society.

    What’s really exciting about this kind of story is that after you’ve created the stable base you have a wealth of options. You could immediately time skip a couple of years and we could see how the characters and new institutions have evolved. Hell you could time skip us until the very end of the society... perhaps thousands of years later the dying embers of a once great galactic magical civilisation are being treated in the same way the Ancients are being treated now. Hell you could even just dabble and throw out a one-shot every now and again.

    Sigh... the point is that I’m enjoying it. I'd give it a 4/5.
    ------

    **1: Not a dig at you lot
    Ps. Ginny's been dumped... in a relationship sense not dead in a shallow grave
     
  11. lucis

    lucis Seventh Year

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    Gingernut5000 put it better than I could. This sort of fic can be interesting without conflict... Or so I'm observing.

    It's different than most than most fanfiction in that it's not conflict-driven, but rather interest-driven...
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Except The Dark Knight and its forerunner actually had plot.

    2/5.
     
  13. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    I really, truly, care about what's going to happen to Elizabeth Weir in this fic. I wish I could say that for any other character, but its all so bloody pedestrian. Two and a half chapters in, if it isn't the fucking thrice-damned Centaurs, its fucking Ginny Weasley whining about a lack of PSYCHIATRISTS of all things, two days after they arrive in a new bloody galaxy fleeing a war. I was going to say "What's next" and put a bunch of boring things after it, but to be honest I can't even THINK of anything worse.

    It's sort of decently written, and Weir's in it. So I guess I'll give it a 2/5. I've read worse things when more desperate, I think.
     
  14. Darje

    Darje Groundskeeper

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    I'm hoping the author does add in some conflict when the Stargate Program on Earth eventually reaches the Pegasus Galaxy, but that would be ridiculously far into the fic. As Gingernut mentioned, a time skip may be necessary after the initial setup, when the wizards become complacent and in need of a true purpose.

    3/5 for now.
     
  15. LuckyFelix

    LuckyFelix Seventh Year

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    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    I've found the fic mostly enjoyable so far. Sure there are some grammar and spelling issues, I found the author's inability to add a simple 'a' before some words rather annoying, especially in the first chapter.

    I don't mind the lack of action so far, either. Not all stories have to be ALL about the action, after all. I'm sure there will be some eventually, as well as conflict with the SGC and the Atlantis Expedition when they come along.

    I won't say that the fic is library worthy, but I personally enjoy it nonetheless.

    3/5
     
  16. Othalan

    Othalan Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Cool idea, shitty execution. The writing seemed... awkward, like the author wasn't used to writing in English, and his/her inability to type the letter 'A' was especially aggrivating. Eventually I just got too bored and irritated to continue reading.

    2/5
     
  17. LuckyFelix

    LuckyFelix Seventh Year

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    The author is Finnish, at least their profile lists them as Finnish and I can't think of a reason somebody would lie about being Finnish. Not that there is anything wrong with Finns, Norwegians maybe, but Finns are alright.
     
  18. Katricia

    Katricia DA Member

    Joined:
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    I found this story to be alright, personally. I mean, the premise for the story is pretty interesting, but I find the actually story not to be anything really special. First off, you've got 'Harry the Psychiatrist'. Really, now? Sure, giving all of these people, many of whom are probably traumatized, someone to talk to should be something to consider, but placing it basically at the top of their priority list, and wanting HARRY of all people, to be your counselor? Doesn't really make sense. Aren't there more important things to worry about? Besides, canon-Harry could barely handle his own problems, and was for the most part an introvert, so why in the world would he be a candidate for helping people with their own problems? If you can hardly deal with your own issues, than you sure as hell won't be able to deal with the problems of everyone else.

    Then there's the way that Hermione has absolutely no problems learning about (and understanding) all these extremely advanced and way-over-humans'-heads technology. She has what, a 5th or 6th grade education? There's no way it should come that easy to her, if scientists who went to college for years don't really understand the technology all that well.

    Overall a 3/5. It was an okay read, but I found myself skipping over significant portions of chapters while they carried on about dirt and hydroponic gardening...
     
  19. Bikiluf

    Bikiluf Seventh Year

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    Good idea but the story doesn't hold much promise since esama admitted that there won't be much action in it. Also the concept of Wizard!Shrink is seroisly out of place here. Wizards have magic, if shocked they can change their own memories with a spell, confund themselves or take the memories out of their head and cast them away. Magic is seriously underpowered. Who the fuck needs a rock that can absorb spells (sucky plot-device imo) if they can go with good ole' tubines charmed to be "everturning".... Harry Potter magic = Perpetual motion. Hermions is Super!Genious like always, the 12 Centaurs are going to commit suicide after living together on 1 Hectare for a month.

    3/5 for now because it's redeemable.
     
  20. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    If they do, I'll start reading the fic again!
     
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