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Complete The Blood Tipped Feather by Quazi Joe - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Kardikek, Jul 8, 2007.

  1. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

    Joined:
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    Title: The Blood Tipped Feather
    Author: Quazi Joe
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Mystery
    Pairings: H/L or none
    Status: Complete
    Summary: Some days I’m just so happy to be alive. Then again some days I'm lying on my back, bleeding from my forehead wondering weather I screwed over the pope in a past life. Today is not a happy day. HarryLuna, Hermione Bashing, Powerful Harry...
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3226536/1/

    It's a wonder I've never seen this massive fic before. Just started reading the first few chapters and I'm quite impressed so far. The small speckles of comedy is golden. The author seems to be suitably mentally unhinged too.
     
  2. Lutris

    Lutris Jarl Dovahkiin DLP Supporter

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    I'm under the impression that this fic is already in the Library. Am I wrong?
     
  3. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    It is? Didn't see it in the list.
     
  4. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    There are a few chapters and some discussion in "Work by Author" section.

    As for the story itself, it's definitely worth the time of going through 200K+ words to catch up. Good mystery, excellent humor, very good romance (H/L) and average writing style (a bit rushed at times). The only true peeves are a few irritating choices regarding the setting (gigantic OOTP army, smart & good muggles).

    I posted a detailed review in that other thread, so I figure this is enough.
    4.2/5
     
  5. BlitzkriegAngel

    BlitzkriegAngel Vayash Moru DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed, it was something different compared to the shit I am normally forced to read. The OOTP army was a fairly decent explanation if you ignore book six which most people have chosen to do so. I disliked the way the muggles were portrayed though ... they were a little to arrogant while doing almost nothing else.
     
  6. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    huh... I was browsing and I happen to stumble accross this thread.

    Personally I like this fic, but I'm biased, so ignore that.

    I should add here that this is the begining of a trilogy, and I had to rush through the muggle bit. There is a whole lot more to their story that could seem like a plot hole to some.

    Other than that... I'd give this story a 4/5

    My first few chapters suck.
     
  7. Rainstorm

    Rainstorm Fourth Year

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    England
    The first few chapters are bad. QuaziJoe, may I suggest getting a beta to look over them purely to try and improve some of the spelling mistakes which never fully go away. That said, it improves dramatically about half way through, the humour had me laughing out loud and the action was good. The day to day portions of it are also very well done and didn't have me bored and there is a lot of originality and promise. Personally I think it's a brilliant fic that is let down by a lack of rereading and a multitude of small errors.

    4/5 that would increase if the writing tightened up a bit more.
     
  8. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

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    I found this fic a few nights ago and began to read.

    The first annoyance was the glaringly obvious spelling errors, and even misspelling HP names.

    Then I got to the part that was a homeage to the 4400 which is a decent show on its own so I let it slide.

    .. Then I got to the part where the muggles have magical suppressors and could control the wizard's magic.

    Thats where I dropped the fic and sent a review explaining why.

    But since the author responded well to the review, I'll give it the story another shot later tonight.
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I was about to read this...oh well.
     
  10. Halstead

    Halstead First Year

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    I am surprised that i have never came across this either, and i am always willing to give decent sized, well updated, H/L a go, though few are done well.

    But, as Taure said, Muggles with Magic Suppressors. Hmmm. Muggles controlling Wizards just shouldn't happen in my opinion.

    I shall give it a go, even if the first few chapters are sub-par as some very good things are said about the story.
     
  11. KenderCleric

    KenderCleric Lord of Plot Bunnies

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    I can live with the whole magic suppressors based on how the muggles came about the technology. What I can't deal with is that 7800 witches and wizards "defected" to the muggles without the magical world noticing. Then the fact that the muggles developed anti-magic technology with the aid of those 7800 and the Ministry of Magic never knew?

    Eh, not so much. No.

    It's a decent fic for the most part, but there are just some elements that I can't see working as-is.

    No rating for now as I still need to finish reading it.

    Edit:
    Okay, finished reading and I'll give it a 4/5. It's good, even if there are a few parts that I myself don't care for. Overall you've got a good fic here Joe. You might consider doing a "revised edition" at some point and polishing a few rough edges.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  12. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    Just a general message then since this seems to be the main thing that is turning you lot away.

    There have been quite a few assumptions made, which I can't really fault some of you for making based on what you have read so far.

    A list of things that should be made clear:

    -Nothing is static, just because one thing is said one way in say... chapter 4, doesn't mean that somewhere in chapter 18 it might be expanded upon and given a new meaning.

    -Muggles, are not perfect or all powerful. They did not study magic for a few years and suddenly gain a complete understanding. I will never claim magic to be science, nor will I claim it not to be... that will be for the reader to interpret. The characters themselves will have their own opinions, but they will differ between each person.

    -The 7800, while their name is an homage to the TV show the 4400... that is all I have revealed about them. I have never mentioned (as far as I know) about where they come from, how they have interacted with the muggles, how they learned to control their powers, how they have powers with out wands... Largely, treat them as a giant mystery, that has yet to be touched upon.

    -The new Transformers movie Rocks. Just thought it should be said.

    Thats all...

    Quazi
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  13. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    Finished reading it yesterday, it was quite a mouthful. The spelling as several have mentioned dragged the quality down quite a bit, but for the sake of the story I for one could ignore it.
    The magical suppressors were in my opinion a good idea. For once the non-magicals have something of a leverage against the wizards and don't tell me it wasn't fun seeing the haughty purebloods seething. I find myself rooting for the muggles to improve their suppressors to counter whatever it was Voldemort did.
    But for those who thinks this is reason enough not to read the fic, do reconsider. The idea was introduced somewhere in the beginning of the fic, and has thusfar saved the author from offing random muggles throughout the hogwarts year without making Voldemort seem like a pansy. Besides, apart from humiliating the minister of magic a few times and restricting movement throughout non-magical UK it hasn't done much (up to chapter 26).



    So, when's the next update? :wall:
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  14. Anarual

    Anarual Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Well... It would be decent if not for these supressors ... I loved the fic where Harry showed the PM his wand and explained to him that Muggles are basically powerless against the Wizards ! Thats how it should be !

    This fic .. 3/5
     
  15. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    As soon as I got to the magical suppressors part I dropped the fic. Mostly because of the reaction to the suppressors of the magical world. while it does give the Muggles an advantage what's to stop a wizard from conjuring a lot of rock above a city and just letting gravity do the work? or perhaps just summoning a few orbital contraptions and throwing them into cities. I'm sure that the American wizards would actually inflict stupidly heavy losses against the muggles.

    As for the 78,000 wizards and witches I'm pretty sure someone would notice them.

    'ya' is a FOUR LETTER WORD!
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
  16. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

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    I'm on 14th chapter right now and the story's very enjoyable so far.

    Muggles being able to suppress magic seems a bit ridiculous, but I haven't read anything original for some time, so I'm giving this story a chance.
     
  17. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    Kardikek: So far the updates have been going once a week, usually by friday afternoon my time. Not going to guarantee that it will alway's be that way, but thats my plan for the rest of the summer.

    Kender: Thanks, I appreciate it. And to address one issue I am correcting... I have bribed my beta to go over the first few chapters. I'm planning a complete rewrite of those ones because they are so crappy. It'll be a slow process but its happening as we speak. Though I think I'll leave the prologue alone as I like it as is.

    I've addressed everything else so I'll let you all have at it now.

    And yes, ya is a four letter word... What can I say... its my first attempt at fanfiction. [shrugs]

    Quazi
     
  18. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It's all well and good that this is your first time at fanfiction, and I applaude you for your efforts. If your story didn't push most of my buttons I'd love it to death. But the questions remains, is this your first time with English? The excuse of 'this is my first time at fanfiction' doesn't cut it.
     
  19. Halstead

    Halstead First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
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    32
    This fic has had me at a quandary. I read it in two hits as to try and attain a better overall judgment but it didn't help me much. One chapter was great, the next, not-so-great.

    Pro's: - A Powerful Harry combined with a smart knowledgeable powerful Dumbledore who can manipulate.

    - H/L though at 27 chapters it is just beginning.

    - The wings.

    - The way how Harry can stand up for himself and not be pushed around.

    - Hermione/Ginny/Snape bashing and besting.

    - Tonks humour (and good humour in general)

    - Original ideas (somewhat) like the Order Army and a few other-than-the-norm twists.


    Cons

    - Voldemort? Does he exist? Apart from one veiled mention (i think) there is no Voldemort scenes in 220,000 words.

    - As above, this fic drags a lot of the time. I have no idea how much is left but everything seems sedate. With a lot of seemingly unnecessary things.

    - McGonagale for 20 chapters. FFS.

    - Simple writing errors. Like spelling father - farther and quiet - quite. And quite a lot of them though they diminish as the chapters progress. All it takes is for the chapter to be read through a couple of time.

    - Friends for life with Ron but it is quite well done so maybe just a personal peeve.


    Overall the writing is ok, improving as the story continues. As said, the story is sub-par for the first few chapters and does pick up. It is a generally believable story with no real Deus Ex Machina plotholes which is always good.

    In the end it could become a very very good story or just stay good depending on how the author plans to finish it and how many chapters he takes to do that. Twenty-seven more chapters like that and it is a Mastermind Hunting in the making.

    3.5/5 for me. Raising to 4.3 if an edit was done to clean up/trim up the fat of the story.
     
  20. Raijin

    Raijin Slug Club Member

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    Haha could of sworn this would be on here already, and if I remember Mastermind Hunting it had all kinds of overblown crazy mind shit so this is already better in that way.

    4.7/5 might just be because I don't member the earlier chapters. And i personally like the lack of Voldemort, really theres other people in the war besides him.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2007
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