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WIP The Eyes Have It by Shana The Short - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Mutton, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. Mutton

    Mutton Order Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2011
    Messages:
    862
    Title: The Eyes Have It
    Author: Shana The Short
    Rating: 4/5
    Genre: Humor/Adventure
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Naruto
    Summary: Most people seem to think that developing a doujutsu is a wondrous, unspeakably lucky occurrence. Considering that she now has to deal with an ability she has no idea how to use, family drama, fashion crises, and the world's most rude and vulgar doctor, on top of getting to know her new genin team just after graduation...needless to say, Sakura begs to differ.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8661803/1/The-Eyes-Have-It


    A very fun, lighthearted Sakura centric story starting right before graduation and going up to (but not into) the Chuunin Exams. Fairly solid character development on some lesser used ninja and solid pacing. I give it a 4/5
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2012
  2. bonnerr2

    bonnerr2 Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    64
    And the million dollar question... Where is the link?
     
  3. Mutton

    Mutton Order Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2011
    Messages:
    862
    First time putting a story up for review and I of course forget the most important part >.>

    Fixed it now
     
  4. Siflet

    Siflet Third Year

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2011
    Messages:
    80
    reading through it now.

    First sign of danger

    30 Chapters, 60k words.
     
  5. Heleor

    Heleor EsperJones DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,431
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    This was a NaNoWriMo project - each chapter was written in a day. It's understandable that there are some minor grammar/spelling issues, but it's definitely readable.

    Very fluffy and easy reading. I'd give it a 4/5, and I really wish it were continued.
     
  6. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2009
    Messages:
    957
    5/5

    This was one of those fics where I read a dozen and this is the one that stands out. It's something of a gem when compared to other Sakura-centric stories for a couple reasons:

    First off, it's pretty lighthearted but it doesn't shy away from showing Sakura the darker side of the ninja world. It does a great job of remaining upbeat while appropriately presenting concepts like "The Visit" and hostage scenarios, and political maneuvering and village patriotism.

    Secondly, overall character portrayals hit just the right mark. Relevant OC's were neither too perfect nor too underdeveloped and the main cast just feels right. The doctor is an asshole without coming off as a House-styled caricature, Team 8 isn't completely insufferable like they normally are with their mannerisms, Sakura's family acts like an actual family, and the list goes on.

    Also, concerning Sakura's doujutsu, the author's done a great job of making her development of one plausible without cheapening their existence. Some do nothing at all and are just mild genetic quirks, while others do wondrous things and perform miracles. And that's just how it is.

    This is a really good story. Sure, there's some minor spelling and grammar errors, but there's genuinely nothing wrong with it.
     
  7. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Death Eater

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    969
    Location:
    California
    5/5.
    It is not over the top, it is not super!Sakura, nor is it is not a massive epic. It has a goal, and nails it. It tells the story of Sakura's development; of her personal growth, her development as part of her team, and the illumination of her eyes.
     
  8. Greener

    Greener Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2010
    Messages:
    184
    Location:
    Toronto
    The more I read this, the less I liked it. It bottomed out for me around chapter 11 or so. 3.5/5

    Interesting ideas but the OCs kind of killed it for me. If I was more into it, maybe I could have cared enough about them for when the story shifted from Sakura every chapter. But the short chapters (which gets a -0.5 by itself) along with them just made it too irreverent to follow.
     
  9. LilC16

    LilC16 Second Year

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    58
    Location:
    Texas
    This story gets a 4/5 from me. It's not some mind blowing story of epic proportions, but it's entertaining. Characters stay in check to a reasonable degree, some interesting ideas are introduced, and overall flow is quite good. I absolutely loved chapter 23. The author knows how to create emotion on a level not seen in too many fics.
     
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