Title: The Green Horizon
Author: Evil Riggs
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure/Drama
DLP Category: The Legend of Zelda
Pairing: ???
Status: Complete
Summary: Ganon strikes! As an army of monsters pierces deep into Hyrule, the new Link finds his hour of destiny is at hand. Can he rise to the challenge? Part II of The Legend of Zelda: Shadow Dawn. Rated M for drugs, coitus, cursing, and the old ultraviolence.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3841418/1/The_Green_Horizon

An interesting story I came across. I saw no thread for it and felt I should share it. It is the second part of a series, so reading the first (called The Amber Twilight, and found Here) is recommended.

Although it comes across as a set of self-insert stories at first, it becomes clear that the protagonist is definitely more than a typical author avatar reasonably quickly. The writing comes across as the author trying to hard at times (especially in the first few chapters of The Amber Twilight), but it becomes a bit more natural over time.

 

EDIT: Voiding for now. Will reserve comment until I dig through a ways.

 

Great reading comprehension there, genius. Did you even read through the first chapter? Load up the first part again and press the "End" button on your keyboard. All of that is supposed to be written that way. It's literally him playing that game at work; Linus notes how horrible it is, and even tells his friend what a shitty game that was. If you missed it, it's supposed to be a joke referencing those awful Legend of Zelda CDI games (a little something that might tip you off is that it's almost a word-for-word copy of some of the cutscenes at the end of those games).

The story itself is actually fairly well written; as self-inserts go, this is definitely one of the better ones. The first part is slow, that's for sure. I read through it this morning and it's mostly "Linus' Deadbeat Life Adventures" for the good first half of the story. It's all written well, the dialogue is believable, and the characters seem realistic, but unfortunately that part wasn't very interesting. When he starts interacting with the LoZ world, however, the story starts to pick up. He actually behaves how any normal person would if they were transported between worlds: he thinks he's going insane. The first part isn't all that great and if it doesn't function extremely well as a stand-alone story. However, it does allow the reader to become acquainted with the main character and thus allows them to enjoy the second part even better.

I've just started on the second story, and I'm enjoying it fairly well so far. Not much to say aside from the fact that it keeps going with the strengths from the first story.

4/5 for now


In summation:

What's "wrong" with Archerdood is that he actually read the story.

 

Fuck you. The initial chapter can often be enough to make or break a story for a user, and being a self-insert on top of that, in what is roughly 500 or so word increments from the looks of the next chapter as well?

No, thanks.

 

First one is a guilty pleasure at best, well written but little plot or character development to speak of. 3/5. Far too much exposition on his shitty life. When he gets the Master Sword and gets to Hyrule, it takes off.

The world is one of the best world's I've seen brought to life. No joke. His interpretation is both original and taking in old ideas. Linus can get old as a protaganist, but not by much. There's also something deeper going on than just that .

So I think is not for everyone, but the second story drew me in with how he twisted the universe. For those looking for fresh ideas in Zelda, check it out, those wanting a more traditional flair, stay away. Either way, a 4/5 for me.

 

I understand and completely agree with most of what you're saying. Most of the time, when a story's writing is shit in the first chapter, the reader's turned off from reading the rest of the story. However, the writing is supposed to be shitty when the author's describing a shitty video game. What's more is that most fans of the LoZ series would recognize that it's pretty obviously a reference and a parody. The entire first chapter is literally ripped from the ending cutscenes of the Wand of Gamelon and the Faces of Evil. It's almost impossible to say surf the net and not have seen the campy cutscenes from either of those games. If you're a fan of Legend of Zelda, it's even more likely that you've seen them (and if you're not a fan, then what the hell are you doing reading Legend of Zelda fanfiction?).

The original post even says it looks like a self-insert at the beginning and then evolves into something better than that. Even if you don't trust what the first post in the thread says, the fact of the matter is that the standard of writing is very high throughout both stories, with almost impeccable grammar and spelling, believable dialogue and realistic characters.

Not liking the story because the you think the writing, dialogue, plot, or whatever is justified and I have absolutely no problem with that. Not liking the story because you missed the reference in the first chapter makes you, in my eyes, look a little foolish.

In any case, I just want to say that I think that this is a pretty decent story and I think that you should give a chance at reading it further than the first chapter.

 

Alright, fair points. We've had a lot of shit-fics dropped of late in For Review by similar post-count users I've almost never seen before, so I may have been even more unwilling to read far into the story and as a result been looking for a reason to negatively judge it.

And while I can recognize the opening as a parody, given the initial post here, I was half-expecting the author to have intended it to be that way through-out and further stopped reading after Zelda appeared.

I'll browse through, and if the original doesn't do anything, than I'll move toward the sequel and see if things improve.