1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Abandoned The Legacy of Ancients by EvilKender - SG1 - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by KenderCleric, May 7, 2007.

  1. KenderCleric

    KenderCleric Lord of Plot Bunnies

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Messages:
    652
    Location:
    Terra Atlantus
    Title: The Legacy of Ancients
    Author: EvilKender (aka KenderCleric)
    Rating: M (mostly to cover future violence if any)
    Genre: Crossover
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: N/A, but only mild and Het if any in the future
    Published: January 2, 2008
    Chapters: 2
    Words: 31,895
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: [HPxSG1SGA]Harry Potter has a lot to live up to, but more than anyone ever realized. When Harry begins his fourth year at Hogwarts his life begins to change and a Legacy is reborn.

    New link: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/45/1/

    From my A/N in the prologue:

    Checked by Minion, Nov. 28, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2012
  2. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,166
    I was slightly saddened to hear that 'Ascension' was handed off, but I wish you luck on your latest venture. It's an excellent start.

    4/5

    Edit: Wergan has shown me that I must speak more literally, therefore this post has been edited to reflect what I meant in layman's terms
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2007
  3. Wergan

    Wergan Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2007
    Messages:
    82
    No Ascensions has been written by a different author for at least I think last 4 chapters at least. I quite like this story hope to see more.
     
  4. Bukay

    Bukay Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2006
    Messages:
    420
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, England
    I give you a credit for two things:
    The idea of an ancient device enchencing human womb (or rather the baby inside) as the reason for Harry's lantian knowledge
    The way how Harry is going to join the Stargate Program, by being recruited... that's a good one.

    From what I've seen it has a lot of potential... don't waste it and don't abandon it. Good work.
     
  5. Crazy1

    Crazy1 Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Location:
    England
    The one problem I have with this is the fact that Harry and Sirius got into America far too easily -- I gather they don't quite have the same ties as in the muggle world?

    I'm not going to rate this as of yet, but I shall, hopefully, after a few more chapters. If it keeps on the current track it's on the way to a 4.5 though.

    Good work!
     
  6. bmatsea

    bmatsea Squib

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19
    Location:
    san dog cali
    I think this a very well written piece. I just hope that the author doesn't take forever to get up dates out for it.

    I'd give it 4/5 for now and hope that the rest of the story continues to be good.
     
  7. Snarf

    Snarf Squanchin' Party Bro! ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Forty-Six & 2
    High Score:
    1,832
    The story is well written, but it is in dire need of some characterization and a bit of descriptive detail. I'm not an SG1 fan so I have little to no idea what's going on. If you could add a bit of information that will help me to understand the story better, I would appreciate it.

    Besides those issues, mostly stemming from my own lack of SG knowledge, it is well written with very little grammar and punctuation mistakes. Keep up the good work.

    4.5/5

    Kolskit
     
  8. malaga

    malaga Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    639
    Location:
    New Zealand
    I have to agree. I couldn't really get into it, because you kept bringing in people and things which I had no idea about, and I got really confused. I'll try to pick it up later, when I'm not so tired, and maybe will be able to understand better.
     
  9. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    273
    Location:
    Highlands
    As a Stargate and Harry Potter fan i really enjoyed this start, well written and flowed well enough to capture my attention. One thing that puzzled me though, was the thing Lily fell into a repository of knowledge? thus because harry is so young, and magical, he can handle it where others cannot?
     
  10. parselmaster

    parselmaster Sixth Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2005
    Messages:
    176
    Location:
    спуститься с небес на землю
    4.5/5 Rounds up to a five.

    Great job Kender. I particularly enjoyed the arguing with Mckay in your most recent chapter. The ideas in this are interesting. His recruitment was a unique way of having him join the Stargate Program, nicely done. His having a backing in Engineering is also unique and I find it a nice twist, as well as his compulsion to design the 'Cityscape/Mindscape.' If it at all possible, can you add more and more tidbits of information about the city? Nothing long winded but short hints?

    The only things that bugged me was the sped up way you had Jack trust Harry, Ancient possession or no. And for some reason I don't like Dr. Weir calling Harry, Harry, but I don't quite know why. I also noticed a few errors and in spelling however they were very minor.

    All in all a great job.
     
  11. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
    Messages:
    679
    Location:
    The land down under
    Indeed it's been a while since i've last reviewed anything, and well i've come to like this quite alot. You have chapters at an excellent lengh with quality writing. Even more excelent is the fact you dont wait an age to get your chaps out while haveing only minor errors but still not skimping on any important details.

    I've never really been a fan of stargate and because of that i dont really follow the episodes, though i've managed to grasp onto the concepts your putting forth and for that i give you 4/5.

    Keep up the good work, im hanging out for the next update.
     
  12. Shorna

    Shorna Muggle

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    EDIT: Woops, made a reply in the wrong thread! Please remove this post
     
  13. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    This is honestly one of the better crossovers around. I really liked how you dealt with Voldemort here, and your plot is brilliant! Harry's characterization is also pretty good, and your rewrite sounds quite promising so far. I can't wait for more, and I'm very happy that I found this!
     
Loading...