1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Oneshot The Lion's Pride by Silently Watches - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Charlesnaismith, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. Charlesnaismith

    Charlesnaismith First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    35
    Location:
    Elsewhen
    Title: The Lion's Pride
    Author: Silently Watches
    Rating: T
    Genre: Parody
    Status:Complete (3,206 words)
    Library Category: General
    Pairings: none
    Summary: Rufus doesn't know why Harry Potter thinks him such a villain, but he certainly does not appreciate the churlish attitude. Canon scene from a different POV
    Link: FanFiction.Net

    This story is a short exploration of Rufus Scrimgeour's thoughts about Harry and Dumbledore in HBP. It's well written and the voice seems in character for both, though the dialogue is a direct lift from canon.

    4/5
     
  2. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2012
    Messages:
    585
    Gender:
    Male
    I could see this being Scrimgeour's thoughts in this scene, to some degree. However the fact that the author passes this off as a more reasonable interpretation of Scrimgeour - while basically giving him the same paranoid mindset of Fudge...

    In any case, Scrimgeour's attitude towards Harry and Dumbledore felt a bit too much like the author writing his own complaints about the canon characters into Scrimgeour's attitude.

    Of course this can all be explained by the author choosing to write from a biased perspective in the form of Scrimgeour, however the changing of certain details (Dumbledore having more power than in canon, the details of Stan Shunpike's arrest, Dumbledore subsequently "ordering" Shunpike's release over forty times), suggests otherwise.

    In any case, there isn't really enough in terms of new content to rate this too high. It was fine technically, but as a parody it isn't particularly humorous. I'd put it at... 2/5.
     
  3. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 9, 2011
    Messages:
    321
    The concept is moderately interesting, but it's ruined by the author's compulsive need to slip Dumbledore bashing into everything. It's relatively minor here, but the whole concept of showing a canon scene from the different perspective doesn't really work when it's not actually canon-compliant.
     
  4. darklordmike

    darklordmike Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,122
    Location:
    USA
    This is okay. Neither good nor bad, but definitely inconsequential.

    As others noted, it lifts dialogue straight from the books and basically tacks on thoughts from Scrimgeour's POV. I don't think it butchers his or Harry's character so much as it doesn't have anything interesting to say. There's no conflict and no major illumination of anything we were curious about. It's just a single, competently-written scene from a minor character's POV.

    2.5/5 for what it is.
     
  5. InfernoPlato

    InfernoPlato First Year

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2013
    Messages:
    24
    I thought with the concept this would be a bit more interesting than it was.

    Decently written, but as already said, it lifts all it's dialogue from the book and simply slips in Dumbledore bashing where it's not really needed. There wasn't a need for a canon rehash. A scene from the ministers office doing the exact same thing (thinking back on this canon scene for example) would have sufficed for the concept and probably would have been much more interesting.

    In my opinion, if you're going to rehash canon in a clumsy way like this, it shouldn't be in the library.

    2/5
     
  6. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    6,036
    Felt like this had a great idea at the start, but then when it came down to execution it didn't meet expectation. Humor/Parody genre is a hardsell for me. I'll not go into reasons here because I've mentioned it in pretty much every humor thread I've ever reviewed, but it didn't sell for me. When absurdity is your only basis for comedy and engagement then you're doing it wrong.

    2/5.
     
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. Paradise
    Replies:
    3
    Views:
    2,586