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The problems with HBP, chapter by chapter.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Midknight, Aug 21, 2005.

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  1. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    I started posting some of my dissections of the train wreck that is HBP in the spoiler thread. I promised to finish them and post, so here they are.

    DO NOT QUOTE THIS POST AT RISK OF BEING DISEMBOWLED BY A ICE CREAM SCOOPER



    Chapter 1=

    -You can tell from the giant cluster fuck* that is chapter 1 that the books crap.
    -She makes so many highly noticeable things happen in the world of the muggles it's insane.
    -Since when is Fudge suave? The first meeting with the PM went off all James Bondish. The next meetings seem more like the Fudge we know and hate, but the writing for it is garbage.
    -The world has seemingly fallen to sh*t in the few WEEKS since Harry ended year 5. Dementors everywhere, giants loose, and nonstop death. Gee and think the first 5 book contained pretty much nothing. She must of finally realized this and sped it up, OVERTIME to compensate. Too bad she can't keep this up, and in fact spends most of the book accomplishing nothing.

    -I guess I'm the only one who finds dementor's breeding nasty. or impossible since they are basically immortal, if they bred, the world would belong to them, as they'd be overrunning everything.
    -The new minister: Scrimgeour is instantly liked in this chapter. The man's not a wuss. Too bad she screws that up later.


    Chapter 2
    -Guess all the fics that had Snape in a posh manor were ruined. The man is a great Potion's master.. and yet lives in a hovel In a muggle area?!?
    -She patches the massive plothole about why Voldemort would trust Snape after book 1.
    -God, even the god damned CANON author calls the DoM bit a "fiasco". A million cliche fan writers just soiled themselves.
    -She ruins the Narcissa and Bellatrix characters in this chapter.
    -Snape makes "The Unbreakable Vow" How utterly unimaginative a name. He's supposed to watch over Draco in his attempts to kill Dumbledore. Draco is ordered to do it as punishment for Lucius' mess up. It's blindingly obvious that Draco will fail at his task, and Snape will have to do it.

    Chapter 3

    -We finally get to Harry.
    -Gee Harry being named "The Chosen One" in the Prophet just screams KEEP THE FACT THAT I AM SECRET!
    -She writes from a weird POV in here I can't remember her using before, it's out of place.
    -She introduces Side-Along-Apparition, something fic writers have used for YEARS. Sad to see she's tapped out for ideas.
    -Gee Dumbles letter kisses Harry's arse just a bit. He makes up for this with some funny Dursley moments. One of the few times I've liked Dumbledore.
    -Dumbledore tells Harry he inherited everything Sirius left in the lamest ass way its ever been sprung. ha
    -Funny Kreacher moments.
    -Dumbledore gets more and more out of character as time goes on. All of a sudden he's aware about the years of abuse and neglect?

    Chapter 4

    -Gee walking corpses, yep the series has def. turned dark.
    -She mentions Dumbledore's hand for the tenth billionth time and doesnt explain it again. She mentioned his reaction time slowing for the 20th billionth times.
    -I am underwhelmed by Slughorn. He needs to sell used brooms and get the hell out of the story.
    -Every bit of Lily as a Slytherin was destroyed
    -Seems the Order is common knowledge now? Did I miss something?
    -Thank god JKR didnt turn him into a whiny bitch over Sirius. It is, as we all thought, Sirius' death is his turning point... yet later in the story you see he turned completely over, accomplishing nothing and actually acting more stupid by the end.
    -Sure lets let Harry get Sirius killed, and THEN Dumbles will realize it's time for some one on one training.... DUH.. later you see it's a farce, he gets zero special training it's all reliving memories.
    -Theres that FIASCO word again. how about horrible cluster fuck, terrible mistake, bad incident? no FIASCO!


    Chapter 5

    -"Arthur's heading the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects"
    Yes because we all know lovable Mr. Weasley should be in charge of finding and disarming dangerous items... Maybe there's more to the guy behind the scenes but he's always come across to me as a likable whackjob
    -Nice bit with the clock. I liked this as stupid as it may seem.
    -We all know Fleur is not English/British. Write her damned speech without the annoying accents. It does not add to her character for her to say 'Arry, it just makes it stand out as a glaring typo. Not to mention having her do it sometimes, but not others is stupid.

    On a side thought, I can stand Fleur a hell of a lot better then Ginny

    -Thank god Hermione got a black eye from SOMETHING. Her whining about the OWLs in fanon AND canon is pathetic. Would someone please AK this chick and get it over with.
    -Why the sadness over the potions grade? He only tossed Auror out there in book 5 as a half ass answer, not seriously enough for him to have a sinking feeling in his stomach.

    Chapter 6

    -Smart move taking Ollivander out of the shop in this chapt. (Itd be even better if there was not other places to get wands, and the De's somehow snapped a ton of wands)
    -She just tosses out the captaincy like it's nothing. The whole goddamned book is like this. "By the way youre rich/captain/etc" or OH did you hear person number #2632 in this fic just got killed/maimed/dragged off/kissed?"
    -Ron's jealousy vanishes over the Quidditch Captain spot being given to Harry, who knows nothing about the game, except how to chase a shiny golden ball.
    -For goblin security, its damned simple for ppl to get money out of Harry's vault for him. Molly before, and now Bill gets money for Harry.
    -No jealousy from Ron either over the full money bag.
    -Harry's been given top grade security status. Wtf is he a international spy now? JKR needs to decided if the wizarding world loathes, or loves him because this bouncing back and forth crap is.....
    -Harry vrs Narcissa dialogue is nice as it shows he's actually got balls this year. In all the other years he's just swept along with the flow and often only survives by pure luck.

    One of my favorite scenes in canon is here. Between Harry/Narc and the twin's shop is priceless. U-No-Poo!
    She did kill the twin's joke shop though, by having them produce stuff for the way, something pretty much every fic writer has done.

    -Is the damned cloak the size of a parachute now? it barely them before, and now Harry and Ron have had massive shoots up in height, they all fit underneath is easily enough to follow Malfoy? She mentions their feet may be seen, but unless i'm mistaken LAST year they "barely" fit in it, much less have it cover then now after a 4+ inch growth spurt. Pathetic continuity.

    And I do find it very gay to name a werewolf Fenrir. Lupin (lupinE) was bad enough but jesus. Then again we have Sirius the dog(star). I wonder why James wasn't renamed "Buck" since he's a damned deer/stag. Can this women not do anything even close to imaginative anymore?

    Chapter 7

    -oh my freaking god, Harry actually figured out Draco was a DE by himself *shock* JKR tradiationally has him acting like a retard until Dumbles or Hermione beat him with the stupid stick and explain, in small words, what's going on.
    -I still find it stupid that so much of the work is done by children. Its bad enough in Anime when a good story is killed because a bunch of 10-14 year olds go off to save the world! In the HP world thankfully, most of the adults somehow know LESS then the children so it's actually probable o_O
    -I really wish i understood what the hell she was trying to accomplish with Luna. I like the girl, but her weirdness is beyond bonds.

    -Slughorn = used car deal, nuff said. Well one more thing Celeb-whore.

    -Blaise. Made a black boy because A)Only like 2 african-british guys in the whole story that i can recall off the top of my head (Dean and Lee) (what the hell is the term for a black Britian? In America it's African american) and b)you had to have some other strong person from Slytherin instead of Ferret-boy.I still like Blaise better as a girl, sorry.

    -Why must every damned time Ginny is around, it's mandatory to mention the Bat-Bogey hex? It makes snot bats fly out of your nose... AK the bitch and get over it.
    -I don't like Draco, but that was a great moment when Harry got his ass stomped.


    Chapter 8

    -Why is it that we've been forced to see everyone use the same tired ass spells for years, and all of a sudden ppl are using new ones left and right?

    -Dumbles hand mentioned for the sixth hundred and 21st billionth time. Reaction speed this time is not mentioned.

    -Overall its a very boring, uninteresting chapter. Except for Tonks' new patronus Snape mentions, and several new spells, nothing interesting happens at all.


    Chapter 9

    -Good DADA class

    -In potions, JKR uses a truth, polyjuice, and love potion. not dangerous at all those 3, nope, nope. And neither is "liquid luck" nope not at all. Blatant foreshadow anyone? Anyone at all?

    -"Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers? "no..."" I bet you a hundred fanfics sprout from that sentence alone.

    -The fact that Harry would win the potion was cemented the second it was mentioned i mean really. Gee i wonder what he would use it for... /sarcasm.

    -Someone PLEASE kill Ginny? Her attitude over Harry listening to a book is stupid. yes she had a bad run in with a diary. Does she remember any of it? NO. stfukthxbibi2u

    -"This book is property of" should end with "A wanker who named himself that, as a pathetic attempt on wordplay to piss off millions of HP fans worldwide who were expecting someone COOL to be the HBP you stupid twat.


    Chapter 10

    - I did find the bit about handwriting looking more like a girl then a boys funny. poor Snapey poo he writes like a lil *******
    -When Ginny and Hermione get AKed plz get Trelawney. kthx

    -I JUST remembered!! the bit with the Horcruxes!!!! I KNEW the Diablo like quest to recover them, coupled with the name Ogden should make me remember something!! Ogden is the name of one of the NPC's who give you quests to kill/recover stuff in Diablo 1. May not be what she was thinking, but it IS a very gay coincidence.

    -hand reference 10 trillion for the love of god when i first read the book i threw it at the wall, he waits a bit more before telling what happened.

    -i really do tire of the pureblood racisim infested throughout this book. Yes we all know she's not racist and she portrays those who are as evil, can we please move the frick on? We already get to have a massive amount of time wasted in memories that give up everything in the world about Voldemort's backstory. Just have the goddamned DE's scream Heil, kill them, and get it the hell over with already. (I think she could of made a second series of Voldemort's travels early in life and made a good bit of money more)

    -I also like how there hasn't been many parsel tongues throughout history, similar to animagi, and yet in this book you have a whole damned family of them. Granted they are Voldie's family, but crap.

    -I do enjoy how superior they think they are, and yet they live in a hovel. I guess all the fics that assumed a family centuries old would have SOME money SOMEWHERE, from something would at least be able to afford a decent house. I guess being able to use magic generally means you have to live in a freaking shack. She explains this by saying the money got squandered over the years. Could the evil family just kill off some muggles and take theirs? OR Obliviate a rich family out of their home or something? First the Weasley's then Snape, then Gaunts family all live in run down houses.

    - " "Sir ... is it important to know all this about Voldemort's past?"" Me = no. He's evil, kill the bastard or get to the important memories and get it over with.

    -wee again with the hand!
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2006
  2. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    Chapter 11

    -Hermione taking notice of Harry being fanciable is disgusting, sorry.
    -Ron's jealousy or attention whoring is back everytime he talks all i read is "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!"

    -""But Hogwarts is safer than their homes, bound to be! We've got Aurors, and all those extra protective spells, and we've got Dumbledore!""

    Yes because the Patil's home has been invaded by a troll, animagi, centaurs, spiders, basilisks, DEs later...etc. Everytime someone uses the example of how secure Hogwarts is it physically hurts my eyes.

    -Hannah's mom is dead, how about we just nuke magical Britian and speed it up even more?

    -Lavender is bad, but not as horrible as Hermione being jealous because someone else is hitting on Ron. If someone gave this stupid girl a BOOK on sex years ago they'd of already boned

    -I do find it amusing Hermione confounded McLaggen. The book queen finally breaks a rule on her own to get into Ron's pants, whee

    -Ron gets pissed he wasnt extended an invitation. I wish JKR would decided if he's supposed to be the jealous type or not and stop damned flopping back and forth


    Chapter 12

    -"The only person who did not find these charms amusing was Hermione, who maintained a rigidly disapproving expression throughout and refused to talk at all if Harry had used the Muffliato spell on anyone in the vicinity"

    Yes b/c its okay to rig a Quidditch team, but not to be secure in your conversations.

    -Kill.Hermione.Now.

    -And.Take.Slughorn.With.Her

    -Harry's newfound balls suddenly swell as he snatches Fletcher up by the throat for stealing Sirius' trinkets from #12.

    -What the F*** is with Ron doubting Harry about Malfoy? JKR has always written Ron as a jump on the bandwagon guy to whatever Harry was thinking, ESPECIALLY for Malfoy bashing, and yet he keeps defending him!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

    -And it is really tiresome that in all the books, Harry has made at least one effort to tell someone in authority that something is wrong, and it's always shot down. You think they'd learn to listen to the wanker by now.


    Chapter 13

    -it makes no sense for Hermione to ignore the Malfoy theory also. She hates him, and Harry's seen and told enough that she should of figured it out. Making her a know it all bitch through 5 books and then suddenly in the 6th she's a stupid twat with her mind on Ron's willy....

    -RIddle was an evil child even at school, and he was still allowed to go. Common sense would dictate something would be done other then simply telling a rule breaker he's not to break rules

    -Since when the hell does Dumbledore call Riddle "Lord Voldemort" every single time he mentions that name?

    Why not just flat out tell Harry a short version of the history if Harry REALLY needs to know, instead of saying, remember that, you'll find out in 300 more pages why it's important! Because I don't feel like telling you yet. Its a horrible writing device

    ABOVE POSTED

    Chapter 14

    -Ron's jealousy over the Slug Club comes out yet again, you get to see a Aw... I'm going to be sick moment between R&H

    -Harry hasn't noticed Ginny in FIVE YEARS. All of a sudden her knob slobbing like a whore all over another guy makes him insanely jealous? He's fricking Harry Potter he could bang half the girls in the school at once with just the word please, and he pines over the plain chick... suuuuuurrrreeeee

    -whee so Ron gets the female mood swings this year instead of Harry

    -Hermione turns around and blasts Harry for supposedly spiking Ron's drink with the luck potion, when its HER fault Ron is on the team in the first place. Her by the rules attitude is out of place now that JKR has established she has no problem cheating for Ron. Serves her right for bitching Ron out and insulting him, lol.

    -Ron getting some tongue action upsets Hermione to the point she attacks him. Same deal with Hermione/Ron as Harry/Ginny. the seeds should of been planted much more in year 4, then 2+ years after puberty set in and normal ppl started becoming interested in the opposite sex. To have them sudden start to wonder if they like each other, and then spent half the story acting like little idiots over it, kills a lot of the mood of the book.

    -Half blood what? Prince who? The only phrase used more in the entire damned book is "withered hand"


    Chapter 15

    there are several great moments in here, but they're ruined by her lack of timing.

    -"There isn't anyone I want to invite," mumbled Harry, who was still not trying to think about Ginny any more than he could help, despite the fact the fact that she kept cropping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency.-

    That line made me gag in real life.

    -Pretty much the entire area of this book gets ruined by stupid ass Ron/Hermione jealousy.
    -Hermione's still being a bitch b/c Harry is not worshiping her ass for help constantly anymore, since he's using Snape's potion book.
    -ya know for Dumbles deciding Harry needs special lessons he's only done 2 in 3-4 months.
    -Harry + Luna fics just got a boost in this chapter, rofl. I'd bet AU fics spinoff that moment.

    -Snape to Malfoy: I want to help you. Malfoy to Snape: NO!! Several minutes of the whiny BS follows.


    Chapter 16

    -Harry to everyone: The sky is falling Snape is teh evil werd!!!!

    Everyone else to Harry: stfu. Snape's a great guy! Dumbledore is brilliant, sane, and totally prefect and he trusts Snape! Snape is as sweet as sugar!!!!

    -The I.Q. of the people in this story somehow found a way to drop into negatives I swear to jebus.

    -Lupin fully explains the werewolf ideals to Harry

    "Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."

    Great line, but it ruins the mood. One moment we're talking about a guy who werewolvizes little children and steals them from their families, then Lupin's joking. Thats a)disturbing and b)stupid

    -Kreacher sends him a present of maggots, great stuff.

    -Harry gets turned on by a MAGGOT being picked out of his hair by Ginny.

    I don't care if the hottest girl in the world was ass out naked in front of me, her picking a MAGGOT out of my hair would most def. not give me "goose bumps that had nothing to do with the maggot"

    -"He raised his right fist. There, shining white on the back of his cold hand, were the scars which Dolores Umbridge had forced him to carve into his own flesh: I must not tell lies."

    every single fic I've seen that involved Harry getting lied to involved that particular scene. I even wrote it for mine before smacking myself and deleting it. WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE USE THIS!!!

    -"Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren't you, Potter?"

    "Yeah, I am," said Harry. "Glad we straightened that out."

    -death knell to canon based 7th year fics that wanted to turn Harry dark. Threw up in my mouth just a lil bit. ew.

    I liked the new minister up until this. It just destroyed any likability the man could of had.


    Chapter 17


    -"Oh, hang on — password. Abstinence."- WTF? IS this supposed to be towards the drunk picture, or referencing sex?

    -Lavender sucks, but shes still better then Hermione/Ron.

    -hand gets mentioned again, whee

    -What the f*** is with everyone's mood swings in this story? One second Dumbledore is about to cry, touched that Harry is "his man" then Harry tells him what he overheard between Snape and Malfoy and gets pissed and basically tells him to shut up before he beats him with his... wait for it.. "withered hand!"

    -JKR explains how Riddle killed his family without being caught. This could of been recapped quickly in a paragraph or two, instead so many pages

    -Tie Slugworth to a chair and truth serum his ass, don't force us to hear Dumbles telling Harry it's up to him and him alone to find out the truth
    -I do like how coincidentally the key to finding out info about Voldie is that dumbass Slug. God forbid she come up with a reasonable plot behind it instead of some weird fool knowing information even Dumbles, with his vast resources, has not been able figure out. I'm sure in book 7, Percy will hold the key to defeating Voldemort, b/c he knows the secret behind spoon related killing.


    Chapter 18

    -The Bezoar bit was funny, but someone needs to beat Hermione with a damned cauldron. JKR: we get it Hermione's an annoying twat, STOP with the needless annoyances the witch does and just let her be a normal person kthx

    -The return finally of the Marauder's Map
    -If the man OBLITERATED himself, how the HELL is Harry supposed to get him to tell him the truth.. when HE WON"T REMEMBER. I mean wtf.
    -And why doesn't Harry get mad over the love potions and whatnot everyone was trying to feed him?
    -she teased us. It seemed like Won-Won was dying but Harry had to go and save him=(


    Chapter 19

    -""Don't be ... I didn't. . ." muttered Harry awkwardly. "Half our family does seem to owe you their lives, now I stop and think about it," Mr. Weasley said in a constricted voice. "Well, all I can say is that it was a lucky day for the Weasley's when Ron decided to sit in your compartment on the Hogwarts Express., Harry."

    No.. it's lucky Malfoy was a prick during Harry's trip to Diagon, or else Ron would be screwed.

    -Snapey poo the innocent one and Dumble's arguing.
    -McLaggen: WHy does JKR keep introducing new characters, when we know NOTHING substantial about the old ones? Not to mention she introduces new characters that are mind bogglingly annoying?

    -Harry looses another Quidditch match b/c the retard McLaggen hits him with a Bludger, while he's trying to tell everyone how to play their spot.

    -"the match was such a fiasco." Okay, so the DoM bit is a fiasco, and Quidditch matches are fiascos. What else can we call a fiasco, so we can see fiasco in the book as much as we see withered hand or half blood prince?

    -Very short, chapter. Nothing worth the space she used except for the elves following Malfoy.


    Chapter 20

    -omfg Ginny and Dean had a argument! woot that means i can get in her panties now right?!?!?!

    Harry could of had Ginny at any moment, anytime, in the previous years. It is f*cking stupid that this crap comes up now. Did she run out of disposable characters or something to kill, that she had to focus on this crap?

    -Another Lesson with Dumbles. Yes we can clearly see he's interested in training Harry. Is Harry getting spell or physical training? No he's watching old ppl's memories of Riddle, which other then the Horcrux revealer are USELESS. Dumbles could of come straight out and told him, but instead you get to read pages of this stupid slop, to make the readers believe in Harry/Dumbledore being like father/son.

    -Dumbledore admonishes Harry for failing to get Slugs memory. I repeat. Tie the bastard to a chair, truth serum, or break into his mind. The end. But then we won't have 30 pages of Harry/Slug.. hmm... yep tie his ass to a chair.

    -Once again we don't care what Voldemort did. Make it a separate series. Kill his ass, and get it over with.

    -How coincidental Tom would wind up finding his mothers locket and another artifact. Can she not come up with stuff that isn't contrived to the point of painful to read?

    -If Dumbles knows Voldemort is doing all sorts of evil things, and forming the DEs... why.doesnt.he.do.something.about.it.then. Stop his ass THEN instead of holding his dick in his hand. After the evil of Grindelwald, Dumbles should of put a boot in the ass of any rising dark wizard, simply to avoid the death toll climbing again.

    -At least you find out why no teacher stays longer then a year in DADA finally, even if it is a half assed passing mention.


    Chapter 21
    -Once again Mind rape goddamned Slughorn and be done with it, the fucking guy's useless, why did she waste so much time on this trite CRAP. Harry getting the memory is of the utmost important. So that's why he's informed to get it, and then left on his own.

    -Other then withered hand, "the Half-Blood Prince", and the term "The Prince" are used an extreme amount of times. Did the dumb witch just want higher words counts of something?

    -Dobby never bothers to correct Harry on where Malfoy goes.

    -The Malfoy conspiracy theory throughout the entire book, along with Harry's obsession over it, and the other two idiots ignoring it, is mind numbingly painful to read every other chapter.

    -"He thought hard for several minutes before striding off once more. “I need you to become the place you become for Draco Malfoy..."
    Either that's a poorly thought out plot hole, or the Room has limits on what it can recreate.

    -Hi Tonks. You're here to see someone whose office is on the clear other side of the castle, and yet I don't find it's funny you show up the instant I drop my invisibility cloak. Nope not at all. I really do deserve to die for being a clueless fuck don't I?
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2006
  3. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    8,958
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    Chapter 22

    "What on earth is more important than this memory, Harry?" asked Hermione.
    Harry did not answer. The thought of that little golden bottle had hovered on the edges of his imagination for some time; vague and unformulated plans that involved Ginny splitting up with Dean, and Ron somehow being happy to see her with a new boyfriend, had been fermenting in the depths of his brain, unacknowledged except during dreams or the twilight time between sleeping and waking. . . .

    -That made me throw up in my mouth just a lil. Of course the whore is more important then some memory who we are lead to believe is all encompassing, and the key to offing Voldemort.

    -"I'm losing track of what's happening to everyone's relatives, to be honest," said Ron. And so are we. Do something instead of killing off everygodamnedbody, and we MAY CARE THAT THEY ARE DEAD. Killing off droves of unnamed relatives of a unused kid 2 years below Harry, who we've never ever SEEN BEFORE DOESNT MATTER. You kill goddamned Lupin, of one of Hermione's/Rons parents and then we'd actually give a shit

    -Of course, lets take the luck potion finally after pages and pages of painful bullshit, and hey, screw the memory, lets go see Hagrid! Along the way lets .. omfg is that Slughorn for tehwin!11! ... ug. Seriously, she needs to get back the damned person who wrote the first 4 books, because jesus christ this shit is pathetic.

    -"I have had it all tested for poison," he assured Harry, pouring most of the first bottle into one of Hagrid's bucket-sized mugs and handing it to Hagrid. "Had a house-elf taste every bottle after what happened to your poor friend Rupert."
    Harry saw, in his mind's eye, the expression on Hermione's face if she ever heard about this abuse of houseelves, and decided never to mention it to her.

    -Times like this, almost makes me like Slughorn. Too bad JKR made him into basically a celeb stalker. More moments like this and he'd off been great.

    -"I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory."

    As corny as that is, if Harry accepted that, at the end of OOTP, and pushed himself to be worthy of that moniker, then this book would be worth a damn. Instead, he spends his time screwing around watching memory-vision, and doing dick all. It's the end of chapter 22. What has really been done? Lots of filler, lots of small bullshit that advanced the plot in small steps. The book should of opened up with this real memory, and gone from there. Instead you're over halfway done, and just finally getting to the meat.

    Chapter 23

    -
    "Well, Harry," said Dumbledore, "I am sure you understood the significance of what we just heard. At the same age as you are now, give or take a few months, Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal."

    Yep, same age and yet what is HARRY doing? He was written as being very, very strong in PoA, with the patronus driving off 100+ dementors, and then after that he's stayed most right at average to above average. He's not inventing spells, pr searching for immortality. He's pining away for the chance to hump the leg of the redheaded witch....

    -And once again, Dumbledore seems to not know a ton about Horcruxes, why does used carsalesman/celeb stalker Slughorn know so much?

    -You finally get a explanation for "withered hand". and only after the 28372636384022872682437847th time he mentioned it too

    -the DOM fiasco. How bout calling it a skirmish, a battle, a fight. why always fiasco?

    -It will take uncommon skill and power to kill a wizard like Voldemort even without his Horcruxes."
    "But I haven't got uncommon skill and power," said Harry, before he could stop himself.
    "Yes, you have," said Dumbledore firmly. "You have a power that Voldemort has never had. You can —"
    "I know!" said Harry impatiently. "I can love!" It was only with difficulty that he stopped himself adding, "Big deal!"

    Amen. Go kiss the evil bastard and see what love gets you: A castrate curse and your intestines pulled out. I hoped that she wouldn't make the power love, but she really reinforces it here that, yes, it is something that half assed.

    -Yet another hand reference, and Dumble's mood swings widely again. He always used to be the venerable nice headmaster, now he's a fucking PMS'ing prick with beef jerky for a hand.

    -"Of course I haven't!" said Harry indignantly. "He killed my mum and dad!"

    Who he doesn't remember other then a sliver, and has not really thought about his whole life up until Hogwarts. If anything he should be pissed he had to live with the Dursleys, not give a shit his parents are dead.

    This over all is a good chapter, but the inclusion of certain lines just puts it into a chapter with good highs, but really, really deep lows.

    Chapter 24

    -yes because its a good idea to teach teenagers how to conjure alcohol.
    -6 months to brew the luck potion. You'd think every Death eater or Voldie would have the stuff on a permanent IV into their damned arms then.

    -Yes logic dictate that since Malfoy attacked Harry first, and then tried to follow with a illegal unforgivable, that Harry's use of a cutting spell is much, much worse. Lets not talk about the Crucio he almost finished when deciding his punishment.

    -Ginny is actually likeable for a moment when she tells Hermione to stfu.

    -The kiss comes out of nowhere though, and the possible love potion induced monster in his chest screams victory. The monster in my chest, a 6inch Subway club, screams defeat as I struggle to keep it down.

    Chapter 25

    -Ding and Hermione finally figures out what pathetic plot twist the HBP really is!!!

    -Coincidence Snape heard the prophecy. Can she not come up with better twists, then to make everything plainfully obvious? She harps on trusting Snape like a billion times, and of course that guaranteed he'd be the one to betray them all. She needs to rip off more ideas from FF to be able to write good twists, I swear. Quirrell being Voldemort, the diary, Sirius, and Moody were all great. The last 2 have sucked balls.

    -Not much to comment on here, most of the chapter does nothing. Dumbledore found a horcrux. yay.


    Chapter 26

    -Too bad Dumbles didn't fall from his withered hand, it would of been funny.

    -The cloak which is big enough to cover all three of them, despite the fact that they are nearly adults now, fits into his pocket... suuuuuuurrrre.
    And unless I missed something, didn't harry not know how to swim in GoF? and only made it through thanks to underwater thrashing and gilly weed? Maybe i'm thinking of fanon.

    -Gee you don';t think she ripped off the swamp from LOTR's with the bodies faceup floating the he water

    -"But how to reach it? This potion cannot be penetrated by hand, Vanished, parted, scooped up, or siphoned away, nor can it be Transfigured, Charmed, or otherwise made to change its nature." Almost absentmindedly, Dumbledore raised his wand again, twirled it once in midair, and then caught the crystal goblet that he had conjured out of nowhere. "I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk

    How the bloody fuck do you get drink it out of that? You'd have to PART it with the cup in order to SCOOP it out to drink anyway, which is listed as not possible. And furthermore, why couldn't you spill the damned stuff out. Once you got it in the cup, spill the stuff.

    -Turning Dumbledore into a bitch pretty much made me stop caring one way or the other about the man. Good job in making sure I won't care he dies. Having him say he was in pain in a much different way would of been much better then reducing it basically to I WANT MY MOMMY IT HURTS

    -... cast the goddamned water charm into his mouth retard, don't give him dead people juice that Voldemort put there you stupid bastard. You see later on that the charm casts a jet of water out of Hagrids umbrella/wand...

    -"Fire!"-is what he is told to use on the undead. So what does Harry use? He PETRIFIES the zombies. then slows them down or tosses ropes at them.... Not to mention after so long in water, a dead body quickly has the flesh turned to mush and taken off it. If it'd been decades since they were place in the water, they'd be little more then bones, providing the bone hadn't weakened to the point it couldn't support coming out of the water.

    -"I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing water. "I am with you."-
    -You better be old man, cause the boy's a retard.


    Chapter 27

    - have extra protection, Ron and Hermione are watching the map, on return everything will be fine they both think. BOOM DARK MARK BITCHES! Her foreshadowing used to actually be good and hard to spot.


    -oh gee I guess everyone in the world refused to listen to the one sane voice that Malfoy was up to something.

    -Somehow I don't see Dumbledore getting disarmed like that, even when he's that sick.

    -Why wouldn't Fenrir smell Harry.

    -No way that spell killed Dumbledore. The curse with the other victims makes them just drop, theres no theatrical tossing around.

    Chapter 28

    -Yes, they just "killed" your pedophile master. Lets chase after them using a first year fucking charm. Bella at least got a damned pan curse. Reducto their asses damn it if you're scared of using Avada, stop being a puss.

    -Snape parried, then blocked a unforgivable curse....gee was the whole point behind them that they were UNBLOCKABLE. Solid objects yeah, but she writes it as if he's casting shields.

    - Harry has overwhelming odds, is at their mercy, and yet they don't knock his ass out and take him to Voldemort. What kind of shit is that?

    - Why don't they portkey out?


    Chapter 29

    -WHy wouldn't the DE's of killed the Gryffindor idiots in the corridors when Malfoy saw them.

    -We get it, he's fucking dead, do you need to try to mention it more then withered hand in the last chapters of the book? Put up a flier or something LEMON SUCKER DEAD< SNAPE DID IT NEW AT ELEVEN!!

    -"Snape!" ejaculated Slughorn" I DO NOT CARE HOW SHE MEANT THAT, EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW

    Chapter 30

    -"'Well, it's just that I was sort of right about the Half-Blood Prince business,' she said tentatively."

    Hermione deserves to die JUST for that reason. She's a little fucking know it all, and she just HAD to rub in in harry's face in a time where he'd feel like crap, what the hell is wrong with this broad?

    -The phoenix would be Dumblys animagus form. Why? Because she feels the need to give the form to every fricking person she can for some reason, and the man can't really be gone sadly. with things like this: 'My dear boy ... even Dumbledore cannot return from the-' and how horrible she's been at foreshadowing after book 4, i'd guarantee he comes back

    -Dumbledore's man through and through,' said Harry. 'That's right.' Damn it the Subway club screamed in victory as it made its way up my throat and out my mouth.


    And so ends the clusterfuck of pointlessness that was that book. The woman has lost her touch and should be beaten to a pulp with this book for her destruction of the whole universe. Harry was never going to go dark, none of us expected that, we just didnt' expect him to waste the whole year by being a lil bitch, accomplishing NOTHING over all *wee fake Horcrux to show for it, and it only got people badly hurt!*
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2006
  4. IndoGhost

    IndoGhost Dark Lord

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    ready*ten men take the automatic guns off safety*
    take aim* they take aim at the center of the book*
    fire*smiles as the book is ripped to shreds by the millions of bullets*
    :headshot: ........ :D
     
  5. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    I enjoyed reading Midknights posts more than I enjoyed reading the fucking book. That says alot doesnt it?
     
  6. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Thats says someone's getting their own Rotissere of Death next Christmas =)

    I just noticed how bad the typos were through some of that =( Ah well, it was written while the story was on auto scroll in one window, and I was typing in another, suprised it's not alot worse actually
     
  7. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    Ooooo :D

    Someone should send this thread to JKR, lol. Wonder what she would think.
     
  8. Burt

    Burt Fourth Year

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    The term is 'Afro-Caribbean', I believe. You can just say 'black', though, dude. Only uptight New-York jerk-offs -- the sort of people Foamy hates -- care. :roll:
     
  9. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    Giovanni agrees with your assesments of HBP. However Giovanni would like to add that the memories would have gone well in Book 4... After all, its when Harry and Dumbledore are still buddy buddy holding hands in love wth each other...

    Giovanni would also like to add that she made the wizarding world in terms of psychology look like morons. Young Voldemort kept trophies, tortured and killed animals, was anti-social, and had no conscience. The only serial killer trait he was missing was bed wetting.

    Nice observation about the Ogdens/Horcrux thing. Yes it IS a lot like the Diablo 1/2 plot lines.
    Ogden is a tavern owner who gives you a coupleof quests in the first one.
    As for the Horcrux... *coughs* SOULSTONE *coughs*
     
  10. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Or in book 2, as flashbacks Ginny has, and she could of related them to Harry, or Harry could of seen them when he had the diary./

    Aye, it slapped me hard in the face when I noticed that.



    i usually do tend to use black, as most of my friends tell me they feel like i'm a fucking racist when I say african american, was trying to to overly offend anyone here, lol.

    Considering I AM from NY, but i'm not uptight, lol: Mid = played ball at Ruckers park before, throwing elbows just as hard as my boys did, heh.
     
  11. Old Nuit

    Old Nuit High Inquisitor

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    To me it sounded more like he used Legilimency after all Snape said:"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouthshut and your mind closed, Potter!"
     
  12. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

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    I've gotten some heat for having Harry deflect a Cruciatus with a Shield Charm in Prince of Darkness. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to recall canon stating that only Avada Kedavra was unblockable. Nothing about the other two.
     
  13. Old Nuit

    Old Nuit High Inquisitor

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    Sorry but shield charms doesn't protect you from the three unforgivables.
    But you can fight the Imperius, perhaps you can fight the Cruciatus with willpower, too.
     
  14. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I read that as he was reading Harry's mind to some extent to know what was coming to block it.

    Which does not match at ALL with OOTP, where Snape had to yell the incantation, and focus on it. Not something you'd be able to do in a battlefield setting.

    -Come to think of it, I know for sure Imperius and Avade are supposed to be unblockable, but I can't recall a specific canon quote that says Crucio isn't blockable.
     
  15. Old Nuit

    Old Nuit High Inquisitor

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    No in HBP Snape can do something like that.
     
  16. Burt

    Burt Fourth Year

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    Was it that Harry wasn't able to hurt Bella at all with his Crucio in DOM, or was it that because he didn't do it right, Bella was able to fight it off? I thought that it was the latter, which implies that it could be shrugged off if you've got a strong enough will -- and maybe if the caster was weak magically that would help.


    When Harry landed the Weasley's car into the Womping willow, and when Snape saw the blank Marauder's Map, Harry felt like someone was reading his mind. I think it might have actually happened once in each book.
     
  17. Old Nuit

    Old Nuit High Inquisitor

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    This was because Harry didn't mean it, she said something about you need to enjoy causing pain.
     
  18. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    thats right I had forgotten about that!

    When in doubt, JKR can make up powers on the spot, even when it goes totally against what she's already done!
     
  19. IndoGhost

    IndoGhost Dark Lord

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    this is why he will die in the fight aginst voldemort
     
  20. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

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    He won't die but it would be a pretty good twist if he did and Voldemort took over the world.

    I think Snape could read what Harry was going to do because Harry was probably broadcasting it. He didn't need words because his mind was open. He was so full of rage that his thoughts were easily read. Thou, current thoughts are probably easier to read than memories becuase thoughts are actually running through the brain at that moment. Memories are buried inside and have to be searched for a dug up.

    Moody says there is no counter-curse for the Unforgivables but just remember who it really was. Crouch could be filling students minds full of shit. He might have just miss lead them. The Killing curse can be blocked but only with that blood magic spell it seems. The Cruciatus can probably be blocked by a stong enough shield but not that Protego shit, something better. Imperius... I have no clue, you can't even see this curse comming can you? Of course you can throw it off thou if you have enough will power.

    Harry's Cruciatus curse didn't work because all he had was anger. A fuck load of anger it was, but that isn't enough. You have to enjoy hearing the bitch scream and flop around in pain like a fish outta water. You gotta pretty much get off on causing pain.
     
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