Title: The Red Valkyrie
Author: Catsy
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Drama
Status: WIP (However, the author told me that it's almost done)
Fandom: Sword Art Online
Pairings: Kadyn/Camilla, canon pairings
Summary: Kadyn and Camilla continue their adventures in Aincrad three months after the events of The Unraveling, contending with the consequences of their actions and the impact of having a reputation that precedes them. First-person OC viewpoint. Canon characters appearances: The Black Cats, Thinker, Yurielle
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8562395/1/The-Red-Valkyrie

This sequel follows Kadyn and Camilla, two characters who should be familiar to anyone who read The Unraveling. I'm really enjoying this one. The couple are not front-liners, so their leveling is much slower. They've got to deal with PKers who are trying to establish a foothold on the lower-floors.

I also like the way Catsy portrays the psychological toll this death-game is taking on the characters and how they're changing in response to these pressures.

 

I dont like it as much as the first one - Kadyn is too dependent on Camilla, as soon as he does somethig without her, everything goes to hell. It just feels like all th action surrounds Camilla. Thats doesnt mean the story is bad, but it read like the Philosophers Stone from Nevilles PoV.
Also, it irks me that dagger users are essentially useless in the story, but thats just me.

 

I'm enjoying this one quite a bit. The psychological stressors being placed on these people is immense, and it shows in how they respond to their environment. It also focuses on groups of people who you wouldn't normally think about, who have thier own dramatic tragedy all their own, like the waitress.

 

It's definitely a weakness of the narrative that I've noticed. I'm about two chapters or so from finishing (depending on how the pacing of the climax works out), but one of the reasons I took a (brief) hiatus from this to work on another story was to give myself a little time to think about how I might fix that, and I have some ideas in that regard. There's a very good reason why he's more dependent on her in this story (see below) but you're not wrong about the impact that has on the story.

Not useless--just at a serious disadvantage in PvP against multiple opponents due to the fact that daggers can't block.

Kadyn has spent almost his entire time in SAO in PvE combat, where he has a tank (Camilla) to keep the mob's attention and can use his skills most effectively. But as he's discovering in this story, human opponents don't *care* who the tank is--and if more than one of them come after him, he's in trouble.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

Thing is, I love to play thief-like characters in PvP (usually solo), and usually my opponants go down pretty quickly, if I can ambush them.
So why didn't Kadyn invest in Hiding, it seems like he should, being used to stealth mechanics from other MMO's. Instead he selected Search, which from my perspective is less usefull to Rogues.

....But maybe I'm just trying to defend my favourite class, so I'll shut up now.

 

No, you've certainly got a valid point. If Kadyn had been a solo player, Hiding probably would've been first on the list--and later on (before a chronologically subsequent story that for a variety of reasons I need to rewrite a bit) he does actually pick up that skill.

But he's used to always playing in a party with his wife, where he doesn't have to worry about being hidden because she's in plate armor and holding aggro, turning the mob so that he can flank and backstab. In that context, Searching was much more useful to him because it's a skill that helps the whole party rather than just concealing him while leaving the rest of the party exposed.

Those are, of course, the in-character reasons why he made those choices and is now dealing with their shortcomings. It doesn't alter the fact that from a reader's perspective a story where most of the combat is PvP does make him seem less useful than he is, and in a way that weakens the story--something I didn't really realize until after the story was well under way.

It's for this reason that I'm rethinking what I had planned for the climax so as to give him a more active role in it that actually plays to his strengths.

 

This story is now complete. Catsy does a great job of bringing Kadyn into his own, and wrapping up the story nicely, keeping it within canon boundries.

 

Damn good ending. Story gets 5/5 from me. Good characters, good narrative, good pacing.