Complete The Thessalonica Legacy by Dashukta: MLP:FiM/Battletech Crossover

Discussion in 'My Little Pony' started by Chengar Qordath, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    Title: The Thessalonica Legacy
    Author: Dashukta
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Drama
    Status: Complete
    Fandom: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic / Battletech
    Pairings: None
    Summary: When a JumpShip from the Federated Suns suffers a misjump, the occupants find themselves over a planet at once alien and eerily familiar. Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle has uncovered a hidden secret which may challenge what she knows of Pony culture.
    Link: Google Documents or Deviant Art or FFN (FFN version has no scene breaks)

    Another oddball crossover, but this one does a reasonably interesting job of establishing its premises and characters before getting to the actual crossover. Getting about a third of the way into the story before the Battletech folks make contact with the ponies does give us a nice opportunity to get to know the characters and how the author will write them. It's an interesting way to write a crossover; most authors are a bit more eager to rush into crossing the universes.

    One of the things I really liked about the story was how it managed to run the crossover without feeling to out of place. Neither universe gets horribly bent out of shape to try and make the story fit better. It doesn't turn into Battletech with Ponies; it's really just about how people from the two universes deal with each other.

    The human characters are reasonably interesting, and I really liked the way the author handled their reaction to encountering ponies and learning about Equestria. The ponies all written as they should be, and don't get yanked wildly out of character over the process of the fic as they have to deal with some of the more grimdark elements that get introduced.

    The only real downside was that the eventual villain of the piece is a bit too obvious.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2011
  2. Red Aviary

    Red Aviary Hogdorinclawpuff Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I know barely anything about the Battletech/Mechwarrior universe, but despite that it was pretty easy to follow. It was intriguing plot-wise, everyone seemed to remain in-character (well, on the MLP side -- can't really speak for the Battletech side), and the interaction between the two universes is constructed well, as Chengar said.

    There is a scene that might seem a little OOC for Princess Celestia, but I felt that it was justifiable under the circumstances. Though we haven't really seen it in the show, she does seem like the type to be really frightening when she's mad. Plus this was written before we were really introduced to Princess Luna in the show, just a few weeks ago as I'm writing this, so she's a somewhat OOC as well... but we barely see her anyway.
    There are a few very minor spelling/grammar issues I noticed, but they aren't very distracting. The one very glaring issue is that there aren't any scene breaks, which can leave you confused for a moment.

    Overall I'd give it a 4/5.
     
  3. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    Huh, just noticed the lack of scene breaks in the FFN version. I actually read the fic on Google Documents, but linked the FFN version since it's generally a bit more convenient. The Google Documents version does have scene breaks.

    Added a link to the Google Docs version. Also added a link to the Deviant Art PDF version, which also has scene breaks and such.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2011
  4. Dnar Semaj

    Dnar Semaj Seventh Year

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    This was weird but enjoyable. Everything I thought about it been said. Villian pretty obvious, some 'huh, what?' moments from no scene breaks. Celestia was pretty cool. I really like first contact. No one warped out of character. Can't speak for Battletech though. 4/5 for sure.
     
  5. ASmallBundleOfToothpicks

    ASmallBundleOfToothpicks Professor

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    I actually enjoyed reading this. It takes the ridiculous premise of humans in Equestria, and takes it to the logical conclusion. I found the humans believable, if generic, and the ponies were well characterized from what I've seen of the show. There were a few points where the grammar could have been better, but over all, I was amused.

    I would like to see a WH40k version of this. I know that a Space Marine would pretty much mow through Equestria like a chainsword through foam, but still. Someone should do this.

    4.5/5