1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Oneshot The Unforgiving by DisobedienceWriter - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by meatzman2, Apr 19, 2009.

  1. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    526
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Title: The Unforgiving
    Author: DisobedienceWriter
    Rating: T
    Category: Tragedy/General (One-shot)
    Pairing: None
    Words: 5,146
    Published: Apr 19, 2009
    Status: Complete, Oneshot

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5003528/1/The_Unforgiving

    DisobedienceWriter has written some excellent stuff in his time and I am a pretty big fan of his so when I got a notice in my email of a new fic I was fairly excited. This isn't the best of the best fanfiction, that doesn't take away from the fact that it is still very good. It runs very close to the border with several cliches and does involve a Super-Naruto (of a different kind) but I thought it was still most enjoyable.

    4/5 and definitely worth a read, I can see a lot of people not liking this fic but I still think they will probably at least midly enjoy reading it.


    Checked by Minion, February 15, 2015
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2015
  2. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,022
    Location:
    Where idiots are not legally permitted to vote
    High Score:
    3,994
    DisobedienceWriter revels in the "angry, spurned protagonist gets his revenge and takes down everyone in his way" type of story he perfected in his Harry Potter writing days. Generally, these stories don't have much by way of conflict. Rather, they're all about the smack-down. Because of this, they're spectacles more than stories and invariably fall flat.

    Like watching UFC matches, it's the kind of thing you have to be in the mood for. I wasn't, so it didn't work that well for me.

    It was competently written and short, however, which is good since this kind of idea can't be sustained for more than a few thousand words. 3/5 (and I'm probably being generous).
     
  3. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    547
    Location:
    socal
    3/5, and then that's only for the ending which I don't really understand but sounds a little cool. It's just too farfetched and lame, Naruto v the Ninja World.
     
  4. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,356
    Location:
    West Coast
    Eh, with the Kishimoto Richter Scale of Ninja abilities, it's not implausible that Naruto could gain the magical ability to wtfpwn all of Akatsuki on his own...

    That said, it was a decent if utterly predictable oneshot by DisobedienceWriter. I'd like to see one story by him where the main character doesn't get slighted by the higher powers and carve a bloody trail of vengeance.

    3/5
     
  5. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    frankly i've gotten tired of his stuff. His stories have become worse in the last 2 years, and this is pretty much the last in a long row of disappointments.
    He's angry at everything and lashing out but super enough to win anyway...

    meh 1/5
     
  6. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    1,865
    Location:
    The Playhouse
    Ugh.

    Just bad.

    It's pretty much just an amalgamation of bad cliches and shit that doesn't make any sense.

    Starting a fire with a match? Because he was worried about forensics? What the hell is that? CSI is going to show up to check out a hut in the middle of nowhere and trace it back to Konoha?

    Right.

    So in six years, training on his own, Naruto got stronger than all of Akatsuki, killed them, and stole their moves? Then simply goes on to become a hermit who likes to randomly massacre villages from time to time?

    Do not want.
     
  7. Dethklok

    Dethklok Order Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    839
    Location:
    The power of Christ compels him not to tell you.
    Some of the more emotional parts of the fic I liked, such as Naruto's reflection on how the adults in his life let him down, such as Iruka, Kakashi, and Jiraiya.

    What was said about Ne and how Tsunade was seemingly subverted and made into a pawn was slightly interesting, seeing as how in this fic, Tsunade didn't do anything for Naruto except frown at his banishment hearing but took no action.

    But the actual execution was way off. No explanation as to how Naruto had killed Akatsuki, or any of the other opponents in his way, just that he did. I got the reading that he is now mimicking these ninjas who he killed wuth Shadow Clones.

    FAIL.

    Also, the fact that Naruto, after all of his skill and effort, is a fucking farmer? Hell no.

    2.5/5, because I like the author and he could have done better with a banishment fic, made it longer and fleshed it out, like with Naruto's Compensation. A bitter!Naruto truly on his own to survive would have been an interesting 20-25 chapter story. I'm more dissapointed than anything.
     
  8. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    Location:
    I am getting there
    bad. really bad.
     
  9. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    1,342
    Location:
    Australia
    Banished from Konoha? Okay, Naruto's pissed.

    Been ordered back? Those bastards! Naruto needs revenge somehow!

    I know! Let's go and massacre the entire village. Let's go kill every man, women and child- especially the children. Let's blow up other villages just for the fun of it too.

    And I won't even get into the plot quibbles.

    The story blows and Naruto's a dick.


    0/5
     
  10. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    526
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    That's why I like Disobedience's stuff. I view this sort of uber-powerful cunt Naruto fiction as a fad of mine very similar to an amalgamam of overly powerful Independent and Azkaban - HP fanfiction, I imagine that as I read a little more Naruto stuff it will grow tiresome and dreary till then I still enjoy it. Bit weird that I'm still into this sort of thing after a couple years of reading Naruto stuff but meh, perhaps it's more than a passing fancy.

    I was fairly sure that a lot of people wouldn't like it, but some might and as I wasn't certain as to whether or not Almost Recommended Fanfiction Thread was for anything save HP fanfiction decided to put it up for other people's thoughts here.
     
Loading...