Title: The Wizard on the Edge of Forever
Author: rpnielsen
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Crossover,Sci-fi
DLP Category: Alternates
Pairing: Harry/Kim
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: During the fight at the Department of Mysteries, Harry gets taken for the ride of his life.
Link:http://www.ficwad.com/story/119176

A very good Harry/startrek mix that i have been following for a few day's now with regular update's with 6 chapters (28351 words) so far.
The story starts in the DOM before Harry get sent to the 23 century where he tries to find out what happened to the magical world.

 

It was trundling along nicely, nothing special, until this paragraph:

"As Captain Kirk introduced himself and each officer, Harry took a good look at each one. Kirk was an athletic looking man with brown hair. If Harry had had to guess, he'd say the man was in his 30's. Though his manner bore no trace of it, his eyes seemed to hold a lot of pain. They reminded Harry of Cho's eyes in the months after Cedric died, though without the tears."

DO NOT WANT. That one sentence made me want to hurt something very, very badly. That whole series of introductions are nauseatingly cliched. In fact the whole first chapter is packed with exhausting well-known and not even good cliches.

The second chapter continues with the cliched emoness and it is really irritating. There's just too much of Harry's a really nice guy who is so helpful and his warm and fuzzy persona is fucking annoying and it just persists throughout the whole fic. I'm not a Dark Harry fan particularly but this cloyingly sweet HP, gah.

I made it to chapter three and I can't stand it anymore, it has so many click the red X moments that even if it is sort of interesting I can't deal with it anymore. Going to skim through the rest see if anything changes.

Nope it doesn't change, do not want, do not pass go. I'm a pretty big fan of Darker HPs, this sort of fluffy, happy good person Harry gets my hackles up. My hate for the characterization of HP is warring with the fact that it's not that terrible a story and so I'll have to settle for the middle ground, 2/5.

[Edit] Mary Sue! That's the moniker I was looking for. Whatever the male version of Mary Sue is in HP fanfiction, HP is it.

 

Average. Very average. I actually attempted to read this one when I got really, really bored. It's interesting at points but overall, semi-boring so far. It reads alot like a textbook, IMO. 3/5

 

I'm not actually going to read it, so I won't really vote...but I'd have to say crossing Harry Potter with Star Trek is worth at least 5 points to the negative.

 

Terrible. Badly written, no real plot beyond the idea "Hey let's stick Harry in Star Trek era!", poor characterisation, annoying Harry, everything is far too convenient.

2/5

 

Well I am made of either stronger or weaker stuff than the above posted (and most esteemed) DLPer's.

It is a hum drum story, And if I had to rate it I would say it is an average Star Trek TOS crossover, and a above average HP crossover. And when I say that I mean half of the stories are better,and half are worse.

I feel the Story took a real nose dive when the writer sent Harry to earth. I liked the first two chapters much more than the rest.
I would have hand waved Harry into a Enterprise crew member( top secret yada yada). Then you could have run the story with the episodes of the show as a backdrop. Ah well,
Hey Taure I bleep over a lot of stuff, is it badly written, (usage, tenses, poor phasing, verbose) or badly edited (spelling, typos, ) or both?
I think the plot is the seach for the way home, but I have been wrong before.

 

Badly written in terms of feeling like it's written by an illiterate 6 year old.

 

It's badly written, in that it's terribly plain. From a spelling and grammar perspective it's perfectly acceptable for the most part, from a stylistic perspective at times it can be appallingly cliche and humdrum.

 

Thanks, Meatsman2.
Pet peeve, What is with the car? Yeah Yeah, I saw the Star Trek preview, but that just brings it home, part of the "Greatness" of Star Wars and Aliens is that they told the story and made New Standards rather than falling back on "classics" of Earths past to make some point.
Harry has a classic cherry red (with classic chrome accents) Sports car.
He cool. He must be a hero like Kirk. Hey I need another dead horse to flog.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

 

Updated, In this chapter I feel the writer missed two times when he could have added drama.

 

I found the story weird. Never understood why anyone would cross HP with ST. I expected the Federation to know about magic but it is kept a secret. Section 31 might know about it or another Federation agency.

I'll give it a 2/5

 

I did not like this fic, it gave me a headache.
I give it 2/5

 

I've read all that's been published thus far. It's not good enough for the Library; yet, I like the Hui Johansson OC. It's good enough to be a time-wasting guilty pleasure, so... 3 stars and to the Recycling Bin.

 

It's decently enough well written and (obviously) I like it. However, it is not and never will be one for the library. Harry is not dark enough, the story is not dark enough, and there isn't enough violence to make it a DLP fic.

3/5 because I do like it, otherwise 2/5. Bin it.

 

Nor is it well-written enough, sensible enough, or savvy enough in terms of what is smart to write and what is stupid. Cho's eyes except without the tears.

That's why this isn't a DLP fic. Lurk moar.

 

It is average. Better written than 3/4 of the fics out there, but still average. Cho's eyes I interpreted as filled with the pain of loss, but was an original, though poor, description.

I will continue to read the fic, but it is not recommendable in, or to, this forum.

 

I couldn't get into it at all, very uninspiring 2/5 for me.

 

I was planning an introduction for my first post, but, as a giant Trekkie, this caught my eye. I like it, I think it's well written, if a bit plain. The idea of Harry being in Starfleet is a bit unrealistic (canon!Harry? Starfleet?), so I'll hold judgment on that particular plot point until the story is fleshed out more. I quite like Harry's reaction to being in the 23rd century, and wish that the author had fleshed out the intervening time period, where he learns of WWIII, aliens (Spock in particular), and other things. I also like how he befriends Peter, someone who is woefully overlooked in canon Trek.

Taking all of this into consideration, it gets a 4/5 from me.

Although, I must admit, it does seem to spark a memory of something... Perhaps it was a fic that I once read? Where Harry went into the future and looked for wizards?

It's probably nothing.

MK

 

Well, just read it over a ficwad (yes, it was actually working properly).

I didn't find it particularly interesting, and frankly I hate star trek. With a passion.

Sure, they might have come up with the idea of the automatic sliding door but that's *all* they came up with.

On the other hand, the author is clearly trying. That's worth a few points.

2/5