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WIP Thirteenth Stepping by Rymrock - M - Starcraft

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Andro, Aug 4, 2010.

  1. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Title: Thirteenth Stepping
    Author: Rymrock
    Rating: M
    Genre: Crossover
    DLP Category: Alternate
    Pairing: None, possibly Harry P./Sarah K.
    Chapters: 9
    Words: 52,032
    Updated: December 28, 2012
    Published: December 23, 2009

    Status: Currently WiP
    Summary: The future is locked in civil war, and each side searches for the key to victory. Thrown into this world, Harry must keep his wits about him if he is to survive what lies ahead. AU HP/Starcraft Crossover.
    Fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5604127/1/13th_Stepping
    PatronusCharm: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/353/1/ (4 chapters only)

    This is actually the only story I'm actively following right now since the conclusion of Wastelands of Time. It has the advantage of being a rare crossover, and is being written by someone who has talent and exploits the lore for interesting plot material. Neither the elements of the HP world nor those of the Starcraft universe are neglected. Magic makes Harry a formidable force, and he's appropriately badass. There's no bullshit where everyone else is downgraded just to glorify him.

    The update rate is rock-solidly consistent.

    So there's the recommendation.

    4.5/5. Superb.

    Critical review

    First of all, it succeeds as a crossover. The method of moving Harry from Rowling's universe to the Starcraft one is refreshing Harry doesn't die, get thrown through the veil, do a ritual. It's rather similar to how Thor Nairda did it in The Demon Within, for those that remember that fic.

    The melding of the two histories is the textbook example of how to implement a crossover. The explanation with the ULP and the Purification Wars is brilliant. I wondered whether he made it up, but it's all part of the background of Starcraft, so Rymrock definitely did his homework.

    Harry's characterization is my ideal. He's a good person, has the proper motivation in returning home, is competent, but is also vindictive when he's provoked. He acts just a touch superior, but is not so arrogant and overpowered that he curbstomps everything the Starcraft world can throw at him. He's not a douchebag either, like the Harry in the Denarian Renegade series could be sometimes.

    The general sense of realism is great. The sense of danger in the undertakings by him and the marine companions are conveyed damn well.

    No complaints whatsoever about the writing style, Rymrock is one of the better writers even at DLP. Smooth, descriptive, and shows rather than tell.

    There's also a certain tension to Harry's wand literally being the only thing that's giving him any sort of protection. If that frail stick breaks, he's toast. My advice to Rymrock is to play that up a little more. There are interesting possibilities for subplots if the worst fear is realized, and he utilizes alien material as a wand core or something as he tries to replace it.

    Only thing I'd have done differently is to build up anticipation of the adult Kerrigan into the story. She appears in the prologue, and in the leadup to the most recent update, but Harry doesn't express any curiosity about her at all. It still makes sense that he wouldn't, and isn't a flaw, just a different route.


    Checked by Minion, January 14, 2013
    Checked by Minion, January 10, 2014
    The author took all his stories down, though the first four chapters are still available on PatronusCharm
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2015
  2. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    This story is awesome. It actually inspired me to replay the SC Terran campaign on my laptop. Rymrock has done a most excellent job working with feedback on the story and I'm loving it. While I do enjoy a good pairing, something tells me that would take the backseat here whether it was Harry/Kerrigan or Harry/Tessa, with the emphasis on Mengsk's campaign against the Confederacy and the advance of the Zerg and Protoss.

    As Andromalius stated, the characterization of Harry is superb. I do really appreciate that while he does kick-ass, he is capable of learning from others and doesn't completely disregard them.

    The only complaint I have about this story, is that to me it still feels like we're in the introduction. Sure, Harry is now working with a squad and Kerrigan is now in the storyline, but I keep thinking "Zerg! Zerg! Zerg!...Protoss?"

    5/5. This story makes me happy.
     
  3. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The best Harry Potter / Starcraft cross-over without a doubt.

    ^ Read what the above posters said twice instead of this.

    *Keeps hoping for zerg!Harry/Kerrigan*

    5/5.
     
  4. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    I've got the Starcraft bug in me, but don't see myself dropping 60 on the game when I'm about to buy a tablet.

    /derailment.

    That said, with that bug in my veins, I'm going to check this out. I've played the first game's compaign a shitload over the years, so remember it pretty well. This taking place then, is awesome. Will return with critique.

    Read a few chapters. He knows his background. It was interesting to see his take on the worlds coming together and how Harry's absence created some of those conditions. Wondering if Harry will struggle with that guilt.

    The idea used behind him coming to the future was...meh. Worlds better than most fiction, but still not what I expected. Harry's reasoning behind doing it was suburb! I'm going to go ahead give it a 5/5 before reading the rest. I'm confident it is good. (That does not mean I won't finish reading it :p)

    There was one glaring grammar problem, where Harry said, Oh common, instead of come on. Besides that grammar was great.

    tl:dr Lots of praise, not much critique. 5/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2010
  5. Stenstyren

    Stenstyren Professor

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    The only downside of the story is that it will not be updated for 12 years now that SC2 is released. brb practicing mutamicro
     
  6. AAli

    AAli High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    How accessible is it for those of us who know nothing about the Starcraft-verse?
     
  7. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    You'll most likely have to look up the units in the StarCraft universe to understand what units look like and what they can do. And I mean the original SC, not SC2.
     
  8. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The SC characters will feel alot like AU OCs - it's still a very good read, but knowing the world makes it noticeably more enjoyable. Even if you don't know a thing about Starcraft, just go ahead and read it.
     
  9. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    Disagree. Most crossovers(exempting Denarian Series) having knowledge of both Universes makes the piece much clearer. This is the case here. To enjoy I think the reader must know both worlds.
     
  10. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    It's entirely accessible. I hadn't played the game until I started reading.

    It would probably even enhance the reading experience by knowing what's lurking in the future. Part of the fun is trying to figure out what Rymrock is going to stick with and what he'll deviate from due to Harry's presence. At this point it's entirely unpredictable even with knowledge of Starcraft, and that's another of the story's virtues.
     
  11. naidrodro

    naidrodro Fourth Year

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    I played a bit of SC, and am absolutely mad about SC2, but to be honest, you wouldnt need much foreknowledge other than perhaps knowing what the units look like to be able to read this fic. The fic itself is great, I've been following it since chapter 1 in WBA. 4.5/5
     
  12. Tehlaziboi

    Tehlaziboi Ninja Meido

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    After I figured that SC2's storyline became predictable and shitty, I've decided to go diving into some SC fanfic. This one is a cut above the rest. In Harry Potter fandom, it is a good story and in Starcraft, it is one of the greatest. Heaping praises on Rymrock and will absolutely jizz if he keeps this up.

    5/5
     
  13. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    Are there any HP characters other then Harry Potter in this fic?

    From what I just skimmed it doesn't look it has any. To someone who knows nothing about Starcraft, this is pretty much Harry and a bunch of OCs in a non HP world.
     
  14. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    Rated 5/5 for sheer fucking winz.

    /thread

    (Zerg!Harry/Sarah and all their demonic offsprings - Go Forth And Conquer!)
     
  15. Tehlaziboi

    Tehlaziboi Ninja Meido

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    Naw... Protofied Harry + Zerg Kerrigan = Most badass Hybrid ever.
     
  16. Krieger

    Krieger Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    I don't know anything about starcraft but I still enjoy it alot, which goes to say alot for Rymrocks skills as an author.

    I might go and grab a mates copy of SC and play it just to take my enjoyment further. :D
     
  17. JenosIdanian

    JenosIdanian Professor DLP Supporter

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    With HP and the Hipshit Sparklepuff...
    1. Is Harry still Harry? Check
    2. Are the SC characters realistically written within their own world? Check
    3. Great backstory? (A.K.A. the Great Purification?) Check
    4. Protozerg in the making? Hopeful
    5. Possibility of some great Harry/Sarah angst if she goes all Queen of Blades? Yup

    I like this muchly. Give us MOAR!
     
  18. Kerfitd

    Kerfitd First Year

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    I'd like to point out that this story has a WBA thread. Here. And it's very good (the story), in my opinion.
     
  19. Captain Trips

    Captain Trips High Inquisitor

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    Ah, one of my new favorites.
    5/5
     
  20. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    Your first 'point' is my worry. Maybe it just my personal view, but this story has never felt like Harry Potter. The current Harry is a bit of a jerk overall and is being strung along so hard as of now it is aggravating. The Gears of War style dialog is also tiring to read. Overall, while it has been very finely written, I am not a fan of it.