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Abandoned Tight Spot by hakanamu - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Sporangia, May 11, 2009.

  1. Sporangia

    Sporangia First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Location:
    California
    Title: Tight Spot
    Author: hakanamu
    Rating: T
    Pairing: None
    Chapters: 19
    Words: 64,130
    Updated: June 7, 2009
    Published: February 17, 2009
    Summary: Naruto once believed he saw Sasuke as more of a brother than Itachi ever did. But stuck in the 13-year-old ANBU captain's body on the day of Uchiha Clan Massacre, could he really do any better?
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4871431/1/Tight_Spot

    I find the premise of this story quite interesting. It's a challenge for the author to balance Naruto and Itachi's personalities, but I think he's done pretty well so far.


    Checked: June 7, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2012
  2. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    It's...interesting. I'll give it that, I find it interesting. I'm looking forward to see if Naruto/Itachi/whatever can still do some of Naruto's more unique techniques- ransenshuriken, Sage Mode, and the like.

    4/5
     
  3. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    548
    I really like this story. It's going along pretty nicely, gets fairly frequent updates.

    However I think it needs a little bit more action, needs that hook to get it up to a 5/5 for me.

    4/5
     
  4. Evan Tide

    Evan Tide Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Good story so far. Like Shezza, I'm waiting to see if he still has his old abilities. Characters seem good so far and story seems solid.

    4.5/5
     
  5. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    "Naruto did not know what to say about Itachi’s level of paranoia."

    If anyone's read the explanation before this part, this is too true. Quite hilarious.
     
  6. Synchro

    Synchro High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    I think he does have the old techniques. Itachi was a genius and Naruto now has pretty much everything that made Itachi, given to him. Can you imagine Itachi knowing how to perform Rasengan but not being able to do it?

    I like this. Didn't even realize I was clicking on the next chapter button to continue reading until I reached the latest chapter...and that to me is good stuff.

    Edit: 5/5 btw.
     
  7. hakanamu

    hakanamu Muggle

    Joined:
    May 18, 2009
    Messages:
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    Why am I always the last one to know if my fic's been mentioned on a forum...? :eek:

    In any case, I'm... pleasantly surprised at the relatively positive reception of my work here so far. Somehow, I always pictured DLP as being more appreciative of mature/dark/jaded/cruel/insane/evil-protagonist stories.

    Reconciling Naruto & Itachi's canon personalities has bothered me for the longest time, so it is nice to know I seemed to have reached a decent balance up to this point. Hopefully, I could continue to keep changes to his character within reasonable bounds of his AU experience's impact. Feel free to point out any "OOC" moments (or plot holes, for that matter) you've spotted. I'll try to correct them as best I can.

    I don't want to spoil anything, but rest assured that I'm trying to make Itachi!Naruto's abilities reasonably canon-compliant i.e. things he could logically retain according to canon background, he would--things he could not, well, he would not. Certain adaptations could be a possibility though...

    Action, action, define "action". "Action" as in fights? Or "action" as in more conflicts? This arc is reaching the stage where there should be more of either, but I admit I'm worried about tidying things up to a nice neat end. (In fact, I'm having hard enough a time trying to write the next chapter. Just how fast should I pace my story's time-line anyway?) If anyone have some suggestions on how to go about writing a good fight scene, I'd be happy to have them too.

    I think the above should cover everything in my story that have been discussed here? If people have more feedback to give, I'd also welcome them.


    P.S. Oh, and an open-ended question up for discussion: What kind of achievements do you think Itachi!Naruto would need, to earn the necessary credibility for reaching his *goal*? In fact, I've been wondering about that for canon!Naruto...
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2009
  8. whateveritis12

    whateveritis12 Third Year

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    Updated early this morning for all those people who don't know.

    Not bad in overall terms of the chapter, but it just seemed to come too far off of left field.
     
  9. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    What do you mean by that? Please specify. He gets word that someone disappears and he spends the chapter looking for her.
     
  10. whateveritis12

    whateveritis12 Third Year

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    It just feels wrong with the flow of the story to me. There was absolutely no indication that Tansui would do anything of the sort.
     
  11. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    There are numerous hints in the preceding chapters that Itachi/Naruto feels creeped out by Tansui. I just thought that he was instead going to attack him when his back was turned.
     
  12. hakanamu

    hakanamu Muggle

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    Pretty much what sincostan said. Were my hints too obscure?

    I was going to clear up Tansui's motivation a bit more with the new chapter, but that part got cut out (along with a few other scenes) when Tsunade & Fugaku decided to hog the spotlight for too long.
     
  13. liath

    liath Seventh Year

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    Location:
    Korea
    Nah. The clues were there. I was rather creep-ed out by that kid.

    Excellent update.
     
  14. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,958
    Wow I've been missing out. This is good.

    Naruto/himself is a fun conflict and helps to prevent him being too uber.
    Sarutobi/Tsunade/Jiraiya have great characterization, especially since they don't favor Naruto/Itachi

    I don't mind the OC, they're used tastefully; the conflict with Itachi's girlfriend is amusing.

    Update rate appears fast too, which makes me hopeful this story might get somewhere! (it has a plot too, gasp)
     
  15. asa

    asa First Year

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    Very original in a genre that's been beaten to death. I didn't expect much when the premise sounds like crack.

    Writing is surprisingly good. It really puts you inside Naruto's head. You see only as much as he does and have to figure out the rest.

    But I'm worried about the author making Naruto/Itachi too perfect a character. There might also be too many characters introduced so far.
     
  16. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Hakanamu ... Asa ... Why might the two of you be sharing the same computer? >_>
     
  17. hakanamu

    hakanamu Muggle

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    Because this is dorm property? At least now I know why someone keeps on pestering me for updates. I feel stalked. :D
     
  18. asa

    asa First Year

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    Location:
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    Or because we're the same person? I bet that's what Vash is thinking.

    Someone also keeps on forgetting to clear his private data. You're making it ridiculously easy to impersonate you, AM.
     
  19. redshell

    redshell Order Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Michigan
    Great story, and I like how the story is written realistically, so to speak, with the transition from Naruto to 'Itachi' actually being difficult for him, as well as his trying to change things for the better, though it seems like Neji's words come to mind with some of the things that happen. "You cannot escape your fate." Seems fairly apt for this, like some of the Uchiha still dying, even though he stopped the massacre from happening. I'd give it a 5/5, as it kept me reading until the end. I'm fairly sure that it's an original idea too, and it's very well written. I look forward to more.