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Oneshot Variables by The Descendant - T - MLP

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Aekiel, Oct 3, 2011.

  1. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    High Score:
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    Title: Variables
    Author: The Descendant
    Rating: K+ (Possibly T, there is no official rating)
    Genre: General
    Status: Oneshot
    Summary: After his defeat at the hooves of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony the stony figure of Discord was dragged far, far, far out of Ponyville where the good ponies could eventually forget the name of their tormentor...

    ...again.

    But, it seems, as the months have passed some creature in Ponyville has not been able to put aside what had happened. Now, that creature approaches, and it seems as though he'd like a word with the immortal spirit of chaos...
    Link: http://thedescendantofkehan.devianta******/art/Variables-260738218

    So yeah, I was bored half an hour ago and figured I check out some MLP fics, since the only one I've read so far is the infamous Cupcakes. This is a nice little oneshot where Spike heads over to where the ponies have dumped Discord's statue and throws a monologue at him. It shows a ruthless side to Spike that I think adds a good deal to his character, and fleshes out some back story on how Equestria came to be, and what its intended purpose is.

    The only real complaint is that the author has Spike ramble on a bit, but that's mostly in character, especially considering how he's basically talking to a lump of rock.

    I'd give it a 5/5 for being well written and having an interesting premise.
     
  2. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Male
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    Never liked Spikes character, and this characterization is sometimes good, but for me it seems this fic a pointless angstvomit from somebody. The writing is coherent and I couldn't find any glaring grammatical mistake.

    All in all, not the best thing since sliced bread.
     
  3. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2010
    Messages:
    728
    Location:
    University of Nottingham
    Agree with HoS, I never really liked Spike. Technically pretty well written, but it just lacked any sort of hook, for me at least. I found it pretty boring, to be honest.

    3/5 for solid writing and characterisation.