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What exactly does Voldemort DO?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Midknight, Aug 7, 2005.

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  1. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    What exactly does Voldemort DO?

    In the books where he's present, and in canon history, what does he actually do?

    It seems like he sits there on this throne/bed/unliving room/etc doing nothing until small glances to check in with him.

    He doesn't seem to study, or plan and plot, each idea he has seems to be born out of the scene he's in, like he has no plans otherwise, and just stands there all day staring at the ceiling.

    HBP is the first time we seen any sort of planning he's done, but that was decades past, with his various toys.

    He uses his followers for things, and yet, does nothing other then hand out punishment it seems.

    In SS, he's on the back of QUirrels head and actually does something, but the events he does are few and months and months apart.

    In COS, he has the attacks happen infrequently.

    GoF he recovers, but the entire book his death eater is basically training Harry to be able to resist the curses DE's use a ton?

    OOTP he does nothing but occasionally send dreams to Harry, and shows up at the last moment. Why the hell couldn't he sneak down there and get it himself, if he was going to show up at the end and break his own damned cover to start with?
     
  2. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    He sits around jerking off to naked pics of Harry that Wormtail took when he was disuised as Scabbers?

    I dunno... He could just be a master strategist. I use his strategy when I play turn based strategy games online... What don't look at me like that, 10 mins a day to spend my turns and build up... Then kill everyone when they don't expect it. Just bide your time and wait for an opening. Its one of the oldest strategies in the book when you are fighting an opponent and drastically outnumbered.

    But back to Voldemort, he might just sit there all day hearing status reports, reading, and casting the occasional Crucio while plotting his opponents demise. Machiavellian in a way, except I doubt he wants Italiian unification.
     
  3. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    that's true, but a wizard of his power just sits around?

    No one is questioning his brilliance, but why doesn't he try to get some ancient artifacts or something.


    I mean the climax of book 6 was essentially a suicide mission that happened to work. WHAT WAS VOLDEMORT DOING ALL THIS TIME?!?! :evil: :evil:
     
  4. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Voldemort pulled his lover to his chest, their eyes shining with emotion. He leaned down and gave his lover a soul searching kiss, his snake tounge flicking between their lips, their bodies pressed together, almost melded as one.

    "I love you Wormtail."

    Note: I utterly despise slash.
     
  5. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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  6. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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  7. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    HA!! BRILLIANT :D :lol: :D
     
  8. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I asked WHAT he does, not WHo he does!

    the thought of that is enough to curdle milk.
     
  9. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Indeed, quite the inspired piece of I do say so myself. I wonder how fast FF.net would tear it down if I wrote a one-shot on it.
     
  10. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    And I was suggesting subtly (not that you goody goody Gryffindors would recognise anything near subtle) is that he spends his time on menial tasks such as massaging Wormtail, having massive Death Eater orgies, etc.
     
  11. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    You could write it only using the keys you would normally type with on your right hand, name it Hary Potr, and stick it godamned FF.net and it'd get 100's of reviews in a day.

    then.. you could write a great fic, pour hours and hours of research into it... and not get shit.
     
  12. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    I wrote something even more Horrifying. ALbus and MINERVA :shock: :shock: :shock:


    Midknight tore it down, after throwing up. FAR MORE graphic.

    One line: "Albus's beard cascaded down his chest and stuck to his sweaty bare chest in thick strands."
     
  13. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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  14. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    A cat screeched in the fore, a terrible painful yowl as the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry began to move his hips...

    Three hours later, a tabby cat with spectacle-like markings around its eyes limped out of the Headmaster's office.
     
  15. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    i've wonder before...

    If an animagus gets pregnant while in animal form (somehow i dunno they're sick fucks out there) or in human form, and turns into a person/animal what happens in that world?

    If Lily was pregnant with Harry and transformed right before birth into I dunno, a dog, would she abort Harry, have him as a puppy, or would the pregnancy hold off till she got to human form.

    vice versa with pregnant as a animal
     
  16. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    I've thought about this. Because werewolves are attracted to people, I think an animagus is diffrerent from self-transfiguration. Human-transfiguration is making someone LOOK like an animal with some of its benefits, but essentially still human. An animagus is an animal (which JK says happens completely after years of training and a wizard has no control over what animal they turn into. I actually like this as the animal reflects the personality...anyway) that happens to have a certain human's memories, recollections, feelings, and a better level of comprehension, but still an animal. And it can turn back and forth into that Human.

    So I guess, if they get pregnant as a dog, then the sperm that fertilized them was a dog's sperm, and if my theory is true then they're human parts and eggs became dog parts, then they have a dog fetus inside them. The question is if a person is capable of carrying a dog's fetus. If yes, then they give birth to dogs, if no then the child is aborted. I don't see a human shift occuring though.


    (I think I've considered this question more than is healthy.) :?
     
  17. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin DLP Supporter

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    Or perhaps even while transformed animaguses would still have the same number of chromosones, thus rendering anything but human DNA useless.
     
  18. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

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    About your Wormtail/Tom post. Write the One Shot. FF.net cant tear it down. Its no worse than 2/3 of the shit on that site.
     
  19. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    Yeah, go for it. (and continues with EoH please)
     
  20. Western_Frontier

    Western_Frontier Second Year

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    Voldemort is more 'active' than you think. When he first came in power in the 70's, he was probably the guy who did a monkey and spread HIV around the world.

    On his free time Voldie probably bakes cupcakes for bake sales and watch re-runs of 'Friends'. There may actually be something going on between Voldie and Wormtail. Voldie probably does Wormtail in his animagus form. We can expect a new disease to circulate any time soon.
     
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